I have tried and tried but I really and utterly suck at it.
I am not talking about making burned food or half done food but like it never has tastes at all.
I am kinda ashamed and nervous because I feel this is one of those things that really determine a woman and I would hate to get dumped or worse.. mocked for not being able to.
My mom wasn't the kind of person to teach me so I've been trying on my own and whenever it comes out bad all she says is You are a dunce and can't cook... and there are times I dont cook for her and she tells the whole street that I dont so I dont know.
Most Helpful Guys
Sorry in advance for such a long post...
Just like any skill, it's something you develop. I have known people who didn't grow up in a home with home cooked meals and they went on to cook for themselves because they wanted better for themselves than what they were eating.
Cooking is not something you are born with, it just takes a need and willingness to do it. More than anything though, it takes practice!
But beyond that though, ugh! Cooking does NOT determine whether you are a "woman" or not, or does not disqualify you from being worthy of being in a relationship! Who told you such a thing? 🙁 A woman is SOOOO much more than just cooking! That does not determine her femininity or her worth as a mate, nor should it determine her own self-worth. Cooking is certainly a useful skill, but it does NOT determine your worth as a woman. That is 1950s talk if I have ever heard it. Don't let some ancient, irrelevant patriarchal stereotype determine who you are as a woman.
And I am sorry your mom has been so negative and unsupportive in your willingness to learn to cook. 🙁 You are not a "dunce". At all. Don't allow her negative comments to affect your self-esteem or your willingness to keep trying to learn and be better. Never forget: there is nothing more noble than a need and the willingness to better yourself. No matter what it is.
But cooking is NOT genetic. It's something that is learned. If your mom never took you under her wing to teach you, or if she didn't have the patience, that is not your fault for not being in an environment that is conducive to learning and failure.
Because learning is also failure! ESPECIALLY when learning to cook!
Even great cooks fail! We still burn things and make errors in judgement. And sometimes the recipe we follow is just crappy! lol But you must never be afraid of failure. Do you know how much crappy food I made before I learned how to cook for myself and learn what I like, and how to prepare it? LOTS! We all do this, no matter who we are or what age, and genetics has no bearing on any of it.
What I would suggest is, do you know anyone else who cooks? A friend or even another family member? Because learning to cook is made so much easier if you can learn from other people. Not only can they show you some of the tricks of the trade, but it can also be fun to learn with other people and it can help keep you engaged, and give you hope because you are having fun instead of having to learn everything on your own...
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It is a skill you learn. You can go from not knowing how to cook an egg to a chef with a cooking show in a matter of years. To be fair, being born with an exceptional sense of smell and taste buds that share the same sensations as most people definitely help the argument that you are born with natural ability to cook. However, that just gives you an advantage, not the ability. My advice. Start with simple classics that you can use pre-made helpers and then learn how to make those helpers. Like spaghetti and meat sauce. Start with a can of sauce and box macaroni and then after some time try to create your own version. Another very good idea is to make cooking dates with family, friends, and significant other. A good example would be to make a pizza date on a Friday night that everyone gets together and you all help create your own pizza. Cooking is a lot more fun with others I think.
Most Helpful Girls
As far as I know cave men didn't just come into this world thinking " yo, you know what I need? A nice cheeseburger with some sauteed onion and fancy cheese and buns and a side of crispy curly fries and a glob of ketchup. Imma go to my ikea kitchen and cook it up now 😂" jk but seriously. Cooking is due to the discovery of fire and even then it was probably like that spongebob episode where they are just sticking their butts into the fire and everything. Humans became more rational and intellectual after earing cooked food because you have more energy to focus on other things since your food is pretty much predigested for you
I kind of find it hard to believe that you could follow your basic nothing fancy recipe to the letter, with measured ingredients, that hundreds if not thousands of people have made before you, following it exactly, and the dish could have no taste. That's odd.
I do however believe that when surrounded by negative people, you can lose confidence in what are probably your own very capable hands when it comes to cooking. I suggest you find a friend who really knows how to cook, other family member, or take an actual class that will help you obtain the skills you need. Cooking is not like a physical sport where most can only go to the limit of their physical ability---cooking is a matter of learning your basic kitchen skills and then over time building on them and practicing with them until you are more confident in your cooking and can venture off the recipe page from time to time.
Whatever you do, do not get discouraged. If you start thinking you can't do it, you will fulfill that prophecy. If you cannot find someone in your life to help you, youtube has about a million different videos designed to help you make a winning dish and/or learn basic kitchen skills.