Why do girls like shitty guys so much?

Question

I'm not one of those guys who can't get girls because I can't get any. I'm by no means a player but im comfortable with how I do.

I'm editing through an interview that this guy did and he is just such a brain-dead guy. He constantly looks stoned out of his mind or just phased out. He shows no interest or emotion and not in a cool "badass" way. It's more of the kind of way that makes you look at someone and go "What a moron"

Other than the fact that he's attractive, I don't understand what this girl could possibly see in him. I've seen other guys who get a ton of girls that make a lot of sense to me. Good looking, great talkers, funny and exciting people who have at least some kind of depth to their personality. That makes sense.

But why is it that girls keep talking to guys like this and then go onto sites like here and complain? Lol it's like watching someone who only buys cars from some shitty used lot complain that all cars drive like shit. Honest to god, this guy saw his own reflection, I thought he was gonna run after it.

Updates:

+1 y

I think What I've actually learned from this question is how programmed everyone's responses are here on GAG. Seriously, I feel like only a 3rd of you guys actually read the description or understand the question.

Answer 1

LovingNerd

Xper 5

In all fairness to the women, much of this is cause and effect, where she is interested in a nice guy to start out with, and down the road, they reveal their true colors. I'm not saying gals aren't smart to figure this out, I'm just saying that some guys play this card as a means to an end, whether it's sex, companionship, utility, what ever the agenda is.

Women, generally speaking, are roped in to believing this or that guy is a 'all that' or 'all this'. Many relationships I see these days skip the friendship zone, go from flirting to kissing to bed. Both sides of this equation are to blame, not just the guys, and not just the gals, it's two people caught up in the ride, the thrill, the adventure.

Back to the original question, I believe women are attracted to 'shitty guys' for the same reason men are attracted to 'shitty women' - opportunity that has created an unhealthy pattern in their lives. Whether being 'used to it', they either have short-range goals (sex, cohabitation, co-dependency, companionship, etc) and aren't thinking long term. They want Mr. Right Now, not Mr Right.

These are sad couples to watch, arguing, fighting, the honeymoon is over and they don't even know each other the way best friends would.

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3 People

Answer 2

ak666

Guru

People tend to go after whom they feel an instinctive attraction. Unfortunately that instinctive attraction isn't always going to push people towards an ideal mate by any rational basis in today's society.

On the flip side, if girls chose men purely for rational reasons, ignoring that instinctive attraction, then all girls would likely become gold-diggers.

I would too if I ignored my instinctive attraction to a girl and just tried to find the one who would give me the most comfortable and stable lifestyle.

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ak666

+1 y
In response to the update, my answer was a tad terse and I omitted a lot of details. I'll try to clarify it:

>> But why is it that girls keep talking to guys like this and then go onto sites like here and complain?

This part should be a given. Someone who has a shitty partner is probably going to complain about it at some point.

So the question boils down to the heading of why a girl might like a shitty guy, and that's where we get my answer that the kind of instinctive attraction that makes us look at a person and desire them sexually/romantically is generally irrational. It's based on millions of years of evolutionary behavior. Having a depth to of personality wasn't necessarily a trait that contributed much to biological fitness in, say, the Paleolithic era.

Even a good-looking guy who's funny and exciting and good at talking might behave in a way that wards off girls. For a start, confidence seems to be a strong factor in attraction lots of females...
ak666

+1 y
[...] And where does confidence come from?

I would say the easiest source is not giving much of a damn about the girl. In that case, some of the most confident guys around girls out there would be, say, players who see girls as little more than a potential notch to their bedpost. Because they place so little value on a girl, their behavior around them can be completely natural and free of nervousness or fear. Even more confident than a player would be a homosexual, and it might partially explain why I saw a question earlier that asked, "Why are homosexual guys so much hotter?"

There we already have two types of guys who are extremely bad for the girls they attract -- homosexuals and players. But they still tend to behave in a way that can attract.

My comment about gold-diggers is that if a girl ignores sexual attraction and just rationally considers who will give her the happiest life possible, then being a gold-digger is actually very smart and intelligently choosing a partner.

Answer 3

ak666

In response to the update, my answer was a tad terse and I omitted a lot of details. I'll try to clarify it:

>> But why is it that girls keep talking to guys like this and then go onto sites like here and complain?

This part should be a given. Someone who has a shitty partner is probably going to complain about it at some point.

So the question boils down to the heading of why a girl might like a shitty guy, and that's where we get my answer that the kind of instinctive attraction that makes us look at a person and desire them sexually/romantically is generally irrational. It's based on millions of years of evolutionary behavior. Having a depth to of personality wasn't necessarily a trait that contributed much to biological fitness in, say, the Paleolithic era.

Even a good-looking guy who's funny and exciting and good at talking might behave in a way that wards off girls. For a start, confidence seems to be a strong factor in attraction lots of females...

Answer 4

ak666

[...] And where does confidence come from?

I would say the easiest source is not giving much of a damn about the girl. In that case, some of the most confident guys around girls out there would be, say, players who see girls as little more than a potential notch to their bedpost. Because they place so little value on a girl, their behavior around them can be completely natural and free of nervousness or fear. Even more confident than a player would be a homosexual, and it might partially explain why I saw a question earlier that asked, "Why are homosexual guys so much hotter?"

There we already have two types of guys who are extremely bad for the girls they attract -- homosexuals and players. But they still tend to behave in a way that can attract.

My comment about gold-diggers is that if a girl ignores sexual attraction and just rationally considers who will give her the happiest life possible, then being a gold-digger is actually very smart and intelligently choosing a partner.

Answer 5

RJGraveyTrain

Master

You're being a bit of a hypocrite here boyo. You're giving girls flack about complaining about shitty guys on sites like this, yet you just complained about the same shitty guy as well as girls who go for said guys. Might want to consider that.

Now, why are there women who go for shitty guys? Well, if you ask me it's often linked to immaturity in most cases. I've never met a grown woman who wanted a bad-boy stoner type, the only girls I've known who were into those guys were stoners themselves or teenage girls who didn't know better.

You could also chock it up to self esteem, or, perhaps consider that this guy might actually have charm to him that you aren't aware of. Sure he might look like a brain dead stoner, but he could also be charismatic, funny, a blast to be around, and confident, which can still pull girls in. Never assume you know someone's worth until you know their story.

Hope this helps.

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Telekinetic-Potato

+1 y
I think your misunderstanding where i'm coming from. I'm not trying to attack anyone. (Except maybe the guy I insulted haha) I'm trying to kinda delve into the mind of a girl. If you give this a long thought, I think you'll be able to see it's quite a deep question.

Personally, I would never date a girl who saw someone like that attractive enough to have a relationship with. But I'm trying to say, Yes, I understand why the confident, bad boy who's funny get's girls, why does the brain dead guy who really has nothing else going for him get girls too? Or is it just this one girl?

After reading through some peoples answers, I think it has a little to do with compatibility but more so that the girl feels a certain security in hanging out with a guy like that. Like he's not going to leave her. Which would mean that for some girls, the fear of being cheated on or not valued can be enough to cause them to maybe lower their standards. Do you think that makes sense?
RJGraveyTrain

+1 y
So you're not attacking anyone but you're attacking someone? Lol. I never questioned the depth of the question but you too are at least coming across like you're complaining. I'm not saying that to shame you or put you down either, I'm just offering perspective.

It could be that particular girl and I actually answered this already; if you don't know him personally, follow him around, gauge his interactions with girls, you don't know if he has "nothing going for him", you're assuming based on limited information. Then there were my other points that it could be immaturity or self esteem related on the girl's end, or hell - she may just LIKE HIM for no reason. You can't really crack the code to girls minds because while there are commonalities, everyone is different.

That could be the case for some women on the latter point.

Answer 6

Telekinetic-Potato

I think your misunderstanding where i'm coming from. I'm not trying to attack anyone. (Except maybe the guy I insulted haha) I'm trying to kinda delve into the mind of a girl. If you give this a long thought, I think you'll be able to see it's quite a deep question.

Personally, I would never date a girl who saw someone like that attractive enough to have a relationship with. But I'm trying to say, Yes, I understand why the confident, bad boy who's funny get's girls, why does the brain dead guy who really has nothing else going for him get girls too? Or is it just this one girl?

After reading through some peoples answers, I think it has a little to do with compatibility but more so that the girl feels a certain security in hanging out with a guy like that. Like he's not going to leave her. Which would mean that for some girls, the fear of being cheated on or not valued can be enough to cause them to maybe lower their standards. Do you think that makes sense?

Answer 7

RJGraveyTrain

So you're not attacking anyone but you're attacking someone? Lol. I never questioned the depth of the question but you too are at least coming across like you're complaining. I'm not saying that to shame you or put you down either, I'm just offering perspective.

It could be that particular girl and I actually answered this already; if you don't know him personally, follow him around, gauge his interactions with girls, you don't know if he has "nothing going for him", you're assuming based on limited information. Then there were my other points that it could be immaturity or self esteem related on the girl's end, or hell - she may just LIKE HIM for no reason. You can't really crack the code to girls minds because while there are commonalities, everyone is different.

That could be the case for some women on the latter point.

Answer 8

Marellia

Xper 6

Because a lot of girls view bad boys as strong ones, also bad guys usually tend to be funnier because most of them give no f*ck what other thinks about them, that's attracts girls, has more confident, tease girls, and a lot of girls like being teased
Nice guys usually are viewed as weak ones compared to bad ones and bad ones are much more noticeable, since they love being in center of attention.

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Telekinetic-Potato

+1 y
Right but I'm not even talking about a bad boy, I'm talking about a moron. Like someone who isn't cool and is just stares blankly into space when he's not talking. Not in a "wow, what's he thinking about?" kinda way but more in the kind of way where you wonder if he's even conscious.

Answer 9

Telekinetic-Potato

Right but I'm not even talking about a bad boy, I'm talking about a moron. Like someone who isn't cool and is just stares blankly into space when he's not talking. Not in a "wow, what's he thinking about?" kinda way but more in the kind of way where you wonder if he's even conscious.

Answer 10

summit33

Xper 5

for some girls these guys tend to know what to say while most of the time the nice guys end up being to shy or won't make the first move. Girls tend to like to know that they are beiing thought about and when the guy texts first or says the right thing they tend to fall for the crappy guy.

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1 Person

Answer 11

MadeInAmerica

Guru

modeoflife.files.wordpress.com/.../...43787401.jpg

Some chicks just dig "bad boys".

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Answer 12

Guitarwizard7

Xper 6

Typically girls don't like shitty guys girls like guys that are confident. I'm a very nice guy and I'm confident and every girlfriend I've ever had loved me for it. At the same time I also find myself much more desirable to women as they will typically respond much more favorably to my advances.

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Answer 13

Dim1213

Guru

Guys do it also. They date ugly manipulative women a lot. Often they marry them and latter realize their awful mistake and devorce her.

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2 People

Telekinetic-Potato

+1 y
That's an interesting take on it. So do you think that it requires some level of desperation where you wouldn't notice these problems?
Dim1213

+1 y
No I know 3 guys that are dating terrible women when they had their pick before. According to them they are in love yuck.
Telekinetic-Potato

+1 y
So what do you think it is? Like on a deep level. What is it that can make a girl attracted to a guy who has no personality, isn't particularly confident or really have anything else going for him except being fairly good looking? I mean, I always thought girls needed more than just the looks.
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Dim1213

+1 y
It is their love goggles. They just see what they want to see. Just like the guys do. When in love poeple dismiss more red flags than they should. Unless something happens to break their perfect version of that guy they will not see anything but what they want to see.
Telekinetic-Potato

+1 y
That's very true in a lot of things. But I never put it into this context. That makes a lot of sense. So Do you think it would make sense to say that all a guy needs to do is rub a girl the right way the first time they interact and that can start the process? Or do you think that there are very specific reasons which likely could change girl to girl.
Dim1213

+1 y
I think it changes with woman to woman cause he has to fit her fantasy. Think Micky and the 3 musketeers. Mickey just walked in the room and she imagined so much about him with out him doing anything or saying anything.
Dim1213

+1 y
Usually people on gag don't fully read the description if it is long.

Answer 14

Telekinetic-Potato

That's an interesting take on it. So do you think that it requires some level of desperation where you wouldn't notice these problems?

Answer 15

Dim1213

No I know 3 guys that are dating terrible women when they had their pick before. According to them they are in love yuck.

Answer 16

Telekinetic-Potato

So what do you think it is? Like on a deep level. What is it that can make a girl attracted to a guy who has no personality, isn't particularly confident or really have anything else going for him except being fairly good looking? I mean, I always thought girls needed more than just the looks.

Answer 17

Dim1213

It is their love goggles. They just see what they want to see. Just like the guys do. When in love poeple dismiss more red flags than they should. Unless something happens to break their perfect version of that guy they will not see anything but what they want to see.

Answer 18

Telekinetic-Potato

That's very true in a lot of things. But I never put it into this context. That makes a lot of sense. So Do you think it would make sense to say that all a guy needs to do is rub a girl the right way the first time they interact and that can start the process? Or do you think that there are very specific reasons which likely could change girl to girl.

Answer 19

Dim1213

I think it changes with woman to woman cause he has to fit her fantasy. Think Micky and the 3 musketeers. Mickey just walked in the room and she imagined so much about him with out him doing anything or saying anything.

Answer 20

Dim1213

Usually people on gag don't fully read the description if it is long.

Answer 21

FroggyDoggy96

Xper 5

You needn't search any further than when you said "he's attractive". For some reason, society has led us to believe that women are incapable of looking primarily for a guy's looks (or at least heavily taking it into account) like men.

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Telekinetic-Potato

+1 y
Lmao, what makes you even say that! I see this guy all the time lmao
FroggyDoggy96

+1 y
You said, "Other than the fact that he's attractive, I don't understand what this girl could possibly see in him." So you mentioned that he's a good looking guy. Just like guys will deal with a girls personality flaws just for her looks, so will girls for guys.
Telekinetic-Potato

+1 y
Yea but there's obviously a threshold. Or so I thought. So what do you think it is?
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FroggyDoggy96

+1 y
Is there always a threshold for all men? No. Are women always different from men? No. Therefore, he may be attractive enough to attract women who are okay with just his looks.

Answer 22

Telekinetic-Potato

Lmao, what makes you even say that! I see this guy all the time lmao

Answer 23

FroggyDoggy96

You said, "Other than the fact that he's attractive, I don't understand what this girl could possibly see in him." So you mentioned that he's a good looking guy. Just like guys will deal with a girls personality flaws just for her looks, so will girls for guys.

Answer 24

Telekinetic-Potato

Yea but there's obviously a threshold. Or so I thought. So what do you think it is?

Answer 25

FroggyDoggy96

Is there always a threshold for all men? No. Are women always different from men? No. Therefore, he may be attractive enough to attract women who are okay with just his looks.

Answer 26

TheRebelReturns

Xper 5

U jelly brah?

Yeah, u jelly.

i3.kym-cdn.com/.../u_jelly.jpg

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Answer 27

Anonymous

Maybe he's different when it's only him and her, maybe she loves him. Usually situations like that don't happen, but when they do there's usually a good reason for it.

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Answer 28

jman46241

Guru

Girls like projects, a guy thats a little damaged or hard to figure out will pique their interest. Women tend make better choices..

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Answer 29

cross98 | 60 opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.

Xper 5

i;ll say what @LovingNerd has said

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cross98

+1 y
plus i like some "shitty guys" because they have edge and they know who they are (at least they appear to know), and the ones i meet are usually smarter than the so-called "nice guy" who end up having more evil ulterior motives than the "shitty guy".
Telekinetic-Potato

+1 y
So you feel a little safer with the shitty guy? Almost like he's good enough to be true?

Answer 30

cross98

plus i like some "shitty guys" because they have edge and they know who they are (at least they appear to know), and the ones i meet are usually smarter than the so-called "nice guy" who end up having more evil ulterior motives than the "shitty guy".

Answer 31

Telekinetic-Potato

So you feel a little safer with the shitty guy? Almost like he's good enough to be true?

Answer 32

Anonymous

I don't know what they find on these kind of boys

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Answer 33

Anonymous

Like attracts like.

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Telekinetic-Potato

+1 y
That's an interesting take on it. But do you think that desperation can play a role? I really like your answer by the way
Opinion Owner

+1 y
Possibly. But a space brain chick will want a man on her level, you know?
Telekinetic-Potato

+1 y
No, you're right. I think you pretty much answered the question. It's all about what's important to you as a person and the reason I'm getting confused is because the things that I would want to see in a girl or the things I would think most girls want to see in a guy, he doesn't have. But whatever girl he's found is probably a lot like him. It's almost like thr reason why we have cliques.

Very sharp answer indeed.

Answer 34

Telekinetic-Potato

That's an interesting take on it. But do you think that desperation can play a role? I really like your answer by the way

Answer 35

Opinion Owner

Possibly. But a space brain chick will want a man on her level, you know?

Answer 36

Telekinetic-Potato

No, you're right. I think you pretty much answered the question. It's all about what's important to you as a person and the reason I'm getting confused is because the things that I would want to see in a girl or the things I would think most girls want to see in a guy, he doesn't have. But whatever girl he's found is probably a lot like him. It's almost like thr reason why we have cliques.

Very sharp answer indeed.

Answer 37

DaleJr

Xper 3

girls like pain

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1 Person

Why do girls like shitty guys so much?

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