Is it bad that I feel self conscious in modest clothing? Is something wrong with me?

Question

Idky but I can't dress modestly anymore. I always feel self conscious. I always feel the best and most confident in less modest clothing. I feel like modest clothing makes me look plain and like an eight year old. I also feel like modest clothing makes my body disappear. I used to be extremely conservative but one day I changed and I could never go back to dressing modestly again.
(Please don't call me a hooker or sl*t. I can assure you I am not one. I'm still a virgin and want to wait till marriage. Also, sex before the age of 18 is technically illegal.)

How I Used to Dress (middle school):

Is it bad that I feel self conscious in modest clothing? Is something wrong with me?

How I Dress Now: (40% of my outfits include tank tops, 20% of the shoulder and 40% scoopneck tops)

Answer 1

btbc92

Master

It doesn't matter if your a virgin and waiting. It's still very slutty to dress in those kinds of clothes because it's about protecting your sensuality. If you say you want to wait till marriage. Prove it by carrying yourself WORTHY of marrying. Otherwise, people have the right to give righteous judgment as long as they aren't doing the same thing. The upper chest area especially should not be exposed. You can't complain when people start talking. You have to dress how you desire to be treated. And you will eventually attract the wrong kind of attention. The only people that are complaining about you covering up are the people who are perverse and wants to see you undressed. Yes, that includes girls too that go that route. I don't put it pass anybody these days.

It IS bad that you feel that way. Because the reality is, you want to be lusted after guys. You do want sex, and you do what to display yourself to attract men. Be honest with yourself. You are willing to sacrifice your morals if it gets you a man. But you want to do all of this while hoping to remain a virgin until marriage. Men are going to perceive you as something to use for sex and they will not wait. Because you're not giving them a reason why they should if you can showcase yourself like that.

You're a beautiful young woman. Don't destroy your dignity because you don't feel comfortable in your skin. Your problem is your becoming worldly-minded, and it will destroy your goals to be a virginal wife. Being a hooker or a slut is not just about what you do. It's about your mindset and how you chose to display yourself. Being physically pure is not enough. That's what it means to be a virgin. Not just the state of your vagina, mouth or anus.

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4 People

capturemyheartnow

+1 y
Beautiful thoughts---A virgin should be of pure mind , body , spirit and soul. Her pure spirit should be reflected through her , thoughts , words , actions and ways of living. Her modest dress reflects her ability and willingness to protect her body from evil eyes and carry her purity in a way that people don't crave after her body. When the soul and spirit behind virginity is lost the physical body of a virgin has no value.
MLGbreezy

+1 y
I disagree 1000 percent
btbc92

+1 y
@MLGbrezzy

If you haven't been a virgin for a very long time which it sounds like you have it you would not firmly understand what I am saying because it's confusing to you. You should have more common sense to know that it's all about the mindset and how a person choose to carry themselves. You have to front me understand what it truly means to be a virgin and is not some construct made by man because it isn't. It's who you are as a person. That's what being one for long-time have taught me and have firmly shown me.
Show All Show Less
MLGbreezy

+1 y
Dont talk to me about virgin this vurgin tht I've been one all my life and i still am but you fail to see the point her wuestion was is it bad to feel self conscious in modest clothing and she genuinly thiught there was something wrong with here but there isn't just cause you dress diffrently does not mean she doesn't know how to carry herself she obviously does she still a virgin and the same person her morals haven't changed because if her choice to like a different asthetic the old way she dressed made her unhappy and she changed that know she is happy and her mirals to wait till marriage have stayed the same your slut shameing someone you barley know because of how she dressess and talk of beging worthy of marriage its not your place to decide if she's worthy or not or to determine if she is a slut or to pass judgment on anyone for that matter you forgett we are not gods that is his job and his job only
btbc92

+1 y
First of all you sound like you don't know what your talking about. 2ndly who said I was judging her? 3rd one can give righteous judgement as long as they aren't doing the same. You don't want to hear the truth. So that is not my problem. Again, if you don't want to understand what it means to be a virgin, then please don't continue commenting on here. You don't even know if she truly is. Virginity again is MORE than just your sexual status. A lot of people especially girls don't want to erstand this until they get into serious trouble.
btbc92

+1 y
I have never failed to see the point in her question I am talking to her about how her way of acting it's still that a somebody that isn't carrying themselves as a virgin. She should not be exposed in that kind of matter but she can choose to do what she wants to do. And when some guy tries to feel her up and do all kind of sexual stuff beforehand she's not going to be as clean before she gets married. And that's not going to be my issue because that's going to be her personal issues she will have to live with and deal with. The difference between you and her is that while both of you are claiming to be virgins. You're forgetting a how you choose to dress and act carries a lot of weight to people. And it will determine how they choose to react and speak to you. The way how she's dressing in that manner right now is why a lot of guys going to lust after her and Treat Her Like She's a hoe. And sadly some people won't get it until something bad happens to them.
MLGbreezy

+1 y
There is no getting threw to people like you. You say i dont know what im talking about but you so 1st clearly where slut shameing that poor girl and i quote " it doesn't matter if your a virgin and waiting its still slutty to dress in those kinds if clothes" how you dress does not make you a slut it is your actions and that is judgeing someone
MLGbreezy

+1 y
2nd no you dont have the right to judge someone else even if your not doing what they are doing useing your logic that means if i wasn't doing what your doing aka being a virgin that means i can judge you and your ideals to my hearts content dont try and use your so called righteous judgment as an excuse to say what you want and tell others what they should or shouldn't be doing or wearing and you dont know how she's carrying herself thats the freakin point you barley know her as you said yourself and i quote "you dont even know if she is a virgin" that might have been directed at me but you dont know her personally so i doubt you know if she's a virgin or not and you are right guys will lust after her as they will with any attractive women but how SHE choose to handle the men is what really deterimnes your her worth not your word a mans word or whoever
btbc92

+1 y
Again, you still don't get it and won't because you don't care. You call it slut shamming, I call it the truth. I am no way calling her slut and am I in no way calling her anything else that she should not be. You can say what you want but it's the reality. I know from personal and interpersonal experience. I even had a friend once who went that route because of our insecurities and it got her into a lot of trouble and with getting her pregnant twice only for her to abort her first child. These kind of things affect women in a real environment. And you act like it's not a big deal. And that's where I have a serious problem with you and with people with your mindset.
btbc92

+1 y
And as I said before who said I was even judging her in the first place. If I do any judgment is by their character and how they choose to carry themselves. This young girl have no idea the kind of Hell she's going to bring upon her life because she wants to do and behave in a manner that is not appropriate. But again she can do whatever it is that she pleases but it's going to be with consequences that she may not want to deal with. If she was my daughter I raised hell about it but she is not my daughter. She is somebody else's business and responsibility.
btbc92

+1 y
Things you talking about how a man doesn't dictate her, well guess what I say the same thing. but I cannot say that in this sense because she is not showing herself worthy of being respected in that manner. She has to prove it through her actions and how she dresses. Not by her words alone. Things are not just going to be handed to you on a silver platter because you asked for it. She has to give these people a reason she should be respected. I'm telling her through tough love and sadly a lot of people wants to get offended by it. The truth is going to hurt.
MLGbreezy

+1 y
You know what we can't come to an agreement and honestly im not one to just start arguments but i just can't agrre with all of what your saying and how you choose to view the topic or question whatever its not that i dont care we just have different view points
btbc92

+1 y
I'm not here for people to agree with me. I'm here to give people knowledge and wisdom that will help them achieve their goals and change their lives. My opinions is not popular but I can care less about it as long as it's the truth that people need to realize. Like I told a lot of people and I'm going to tell you as anybody else now. It is your life your choice. But when there's a problem at least leave sane people out of it.
MLGbreezy

+1 y
I understand that much but i just think you see things very black and white and it actually make me curious to ask you a question
btbc92

+1 y
What you have to understand is that things are black and white and that's the standard how God had made it. It is right and there is wrong there is no in between but we choose to make things complicated because we don't like what is being applied to our lives. When you start living out what is set for you things become a lot easier for you. Why make life even more complicated when it's bad enough its already hard as is? I had to learn for people who don't want to heed and listen to first time let them go through the fire and if it means they got to get burned. Many people that didn't want to listen to what I had to say in the past then, are now learning it today.
btbc92

+1 y
Why do you think I say the things I say because I've been there before. I've even seen it on multiple accounts before, see people who have done that, and many sadly still go back. Those same people I dropped out of my life because their lives kept getting worse, and they wanted to drag me along with them. People make mistakes at some point yes, but a lot of them know exactly what they're doing.
btbc92

+1 y
And now a lot of them are suffering. There's only so much a person can do to help you before they already say enough is enough.
MLGbreezy

+1 y
I knew that had to be it i understand you a lot better now you have a lot of passion in your heart for what you and you want to help so many people you want them to understand the truth as you put it suprisingly we do think a lot alike belive it or not we just have very diffrent ways of appraoching the situation set before usand im kinda glad i got to talk to you and see your view point i respect it and you
MLGbreezy

+1 y
I find so weird but a lot of the things your talking about i have experinced myself and seen but we aren't the same people but you font stop getting your word out to people and i will do it in my own way as well it was actually a real pleasure talking to you srry i was kinda rude earlier i was just hmm.. passionate in what i felt was right hope your not too angery or have any resentment for my opinoin

Answer 2

capturemyheartnow

Beautiful thoughts---A virgin should be of pure mind , body , spirit and soul. Her pure spirit should be reflected through her , thoughts , words , actions and ways of living. Her modest dress reflects her ability and willingness to protect her body from evil eyes and carry her purity in a way that people don't crave after her body. When the soul and spirit behind virginity is lost the physical body of a virgin has no value.

Answer 3

MLGbreezy

I disagree 1000 percent

Answer 4

btbc92

@MLGbrezzy

If you haven't been a virgin for a very long time which it sounds like you have it you would not firmly understand what I am saying because it's confusing to you. You should have more common sense to know that it's all about the mindset and how a person choose to carry themselves. You have to front me understand what it truly means to be a virgin and is not some construct made by man because it isn't. It's who you are as a person. That's what being one for long-time have taught me and have firmly shown me.

Answer 5

MLGbreezy

Dont talk to me about virgin this vurgin tht I've been one all my life and i still am but you fail to see the point her wuestion was is it bad to feel self conscious in modest clothing and she genuinly thiught there was something wrong with here but there isn't just cause you dress diffrently does not mean she doesn't know how to carry herself she obviously does she still a virgin and the same person her morals haven't changed because if her choice to like a different asthetic the old way she dressed made her unhappy and she changed that know she is happy and her mirals to wait till marriage have stayed the same your slut shameing someone you barley know because of how she dressess and talk of beging worthy of marriage its not your place to decide if she's worthy or not or to determine if she is a slut or to pass judgment on anyone for that matter you forgett we are not gods that is his job and his job only

Answer 6

btbc92

First of all you sound like you don't know what your talking about. 2ndly who said I was judging her? 3rd one can give righteous judgement as long as they aren't doing the same. You don't want to hear the truth. So that is not my problem. Again, if you don't want to understand what it means to be a virgin, then please don't continue commenting on here. You don't even know if she truly is. Virginity again is MORE than just your sexual status. A lot of people especially girls don't want to erstand this until they get into serious trouble.

Answer 7

btbc92

I have never failed to see the point in her question I am talking to her about how her way of acting it's still that a somebody that isn't carrying themselves as a virgin. She should not be exposed in that kind of matter but she can choose to do what she wants to do. And when some guy tries to feel her up and do all kind of sexual stuff beforehand she's not going to be as clean before she gets married. And that's not going to be my issue because that's going to be her personal issues she will have to live with and deal with. The difference between you and her is that while both of you are claiming to be virgins. You're forgetting a how you choose to dress and act carries a lot of weight to people. And it will determine how they choose to react and speak to you. The way how she's dressing in that manner right now is why a lot of guys going to lust after her and Treat Her Like She's a hoe. And sadly some people won't get it until something bad happens to them.

Answer 8

MLGbreezy

There is no getting threw to people like you. You say i dont know what im talking about but you so 1st clearly where slut shameing that poor girl and i quote " it doesn't matter if your a virgin and waiting its still slutty to dress in those kinds if clothes" how you dress does not make you a slut it is your actions and that is judgeing someone

Answer 9

MLGbreezy

2nd no you dont have the right to judge someone else even if your not doing what they are doing useing your logic that means if i wasn't doing what your doing aka being a virgin that means i can judge you and your ideals to my hearts content dont try and use your so called righteous judgment as an excuse to say what you want and tell others what they should or shouldn't be doing or wearing and you dont know how she's carrying herself thats the freakin point you barley know her as you said yourself and i quote "you dont even know if she is a virgin" that might have been directed at me but you dont know her personally so i doubt you know if she's a virgin or not and you are right guys will lust after her as they will with any attractive women but how SHE choose to handle the men is what really deterimnes your her worth not your word a mans word or whoever

Answer 10

btbc92

Again, you still don't get it and won't because you don't care. You call it slut shamming, I call it the truth. I am no way calling her slut and am I in no way calling her anything else that she should not be. You can say what you want but it's the reality. I know from personal and interpersonal experience. I even had a friend once who went that route because of our insecurities and it got her into a lot of trouble and with getting her pregnant twice only for her to abort her first child. These kind of things affect women in a real environment. And you act like it's not a big deal. And that's where I have a serious problem with you and with people with your mindset.

Answer 11

btbc92

And as I said before who said I was even judging her in the first place. If I do any judgment is by their character and how they choose to carry themselves. This young girl have no idea the kind of Hell she's going to bring upon her life because she wants to do and behave in a manner that is not appropriate. But again she can do whatever it is that she pleases but it's going to be with consequences that she may not want to deal with. If she was my daughter I raised hell about it but she is not my daughter. She is somebody else's business and responsibility.

Answer 12

btbc92

Things you talking about how a man doesn't dictate her, well guess what I say the same thing. but I cannot say that in this sense because she is not showing herself worthy of being respected in that manner. She has to prove it through her actions and how she dresses. Not by her words alone. Things are not just going to be handed to you on a silver platter because you asked for it. She has to give these people a reason she should be respected. I'm telling her through tough love and sadly a lot of people wants to get offended by it. The truth is going to hurt.

Answer 13

MLGbreezy

You know what we can't come to an agreement and honestly im not one to just start arguments but i just can't agrre with all of what your saying and how you choose to view the topic or question whatever its not that i dont care we just have different view points

Answer 14

btbc92

I'm not here for people to agree with me. I'm here to give people knowledge and wisdom that will help them achieve their goals and change their lives. My opinions is not popular but I can care less about it as long as it's the truth that people need to realize. Like I told a lot of people and I'm going to tell you as anybody else now. It is your life your choice. But when there's a problem at least leave sane people out of it.

Answer 15

MLGbreezy

I understand that much but i just think you see things very black and white and it actually make me curious to ask you a question

Answer 16

btbc92

What you have to understand is that things are black and white and that's the standard how God had made it. It is right and there is wrong there is no in between but we choose to make things complicated because we don't like what is being applied to our lives. When you start living out what is set for you things become a lot easier for you. Why make life even more complicated when it's bad enough its already hard as is? I had to learn for people who don't want to heed and listen to first time let them go through the fire and if it means they got to get burned. Many people that didn't want to listen to what I had to say in the past then, are now learning it today.

Answer 17

btbc92

Why do you think I say the things I say because I've been there before. I've even seen it on multiple accounts before, see people who have done that, and many sadly still go back. Those same people I dropped out of my life because their lives kept getting worse, and they wanted to drag me along with them. People make mistakes at some point yes, but a lot of them know exactly what they're doing.

Answer 18

btbc92

And now a lot of them are suffering. There's only so much a person can do to help you before they already say enough is enough.

Answer 19

MLGbreezy

I knew that had to be it i understand you a lot better now you have a lot of passion in your heart for what you and you want to help so many people you want them to understand the truth as you put it suprisingly we do think a lot alike belive it or not we just have very diffrent ways of appraoching the situation set before usand im kinda glad i got to talk to you and see your view point i respect it and you

Answer 20

MLGbreezy

I find so weird but a lot of the things your talking about i have experinced myself and seen but we aren't the same people but you font stop getting your word out to people and i will do it in my own way as well it was actually a real pleasure talking to you srry i was kinda rude earlier i was just hmm.. passionate in what i felt was right hope your not too angery or have any resentment for my opinoin

Answer 21

KDria

Xper 6

Obviously if you only feel attractive in provocative clothing it indicates low self esteem which isn't a good thing. Your self worth is so much more than how you look on the outside which is what you're paying a lot of attention to. Nothing's wrong with you, we all have insecurities. Plus, you're 16. Wait a few years & you'll care a lot less lmao

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2 People

Answer 22

BaileyisDarcy | 335 opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.

Guru

Modest doesn't mean hiding your figure, basically just means people can't see the tops of your thighs or an overwhelming amount of tit.

So i consider those last two "immodest" outfits to BE modest. (Other than the short shorts)

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2 People

Answer 23

David456

Xper 2

yes it is messed up that you feel uncomfortable with modest clothing.
Feeling uncomfortable in revealing for some it goes against their standard and they feel they are being modest or inappropriate thus uncomfortable. but why would dressing more make you feel uncomfortable, maybe you don't like it, but uncomfortable? you might be having confidence and self image issues that you need to feel pretty and sexy and find self worth in that.

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Answer 24

MaskOfMirrors

Xper 5

It's okay you just want to dress and feel sexy. Nothing wrong with showing off body. People who shame this kind of stuff either don't have a body of their own and suffer jealousy issues.

React

1 Person

MaskOfMirrors

+1 y
However on a side note. You do it for the easy validation. Guys will gawk and stare and remind you everyday how sexy that outfit is or how it makes a certain part of your body look. Which means some deeper underlying insecurities.

Answer 25

MaskOfMirrors

However on a side note. You do it for the easy validation. Guys will gawk and stare and remind you everyday how sexy that outfit is or how it makes a certain part of your body look. Which means some deeper underlying insecurities.

Answer 26

mistixs | 587 opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.

Master

It depends on where you live but I don't often see women in revealing clothes. Your clothes were fine beforehand

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Answer 27

Cassidael

Xper 2

I feel the same way! I always feel more self conscious and I sweat very easily so I don't feel myself when everything is covering up. I feel more like myself when there is more skin showing and also I feel more adventurous like I could go anywhere and talk to anyone, give presentations, etc. When covered up everyone and everything makes me nervous.

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1 Person

cali61900

+1 y
wow your sexy question for u

Answer 28

cali61900

wow your sexy question for u

Answer 29

Kai02

Xper 7

Dress in what makes you confident. For some girls (Like me) modesty makes them confident and for others, more revealing clothes do. Dress in what makes you feel good and focus on what you think of you.

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1 Person

Answer 30

Scarecrow13 | 103 opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.

Explorer

There is nothing wrong with that. Dress how you like. It is not slutty. It actually seems like you have confidence in your body. Don't let others shame you for it.

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Answer 31

ilovenuggets

Xper 2

I am the same way, and I am always called a slut and stuff but as long as you like it that's all that matters

React

1 Person

Answer 32

TheClevelander

Xper 7

sex before 18, is not illegal. sex with an 18+ year old, under the age of consent (depending on where you live), is illegal.

also, i don't recommend waiting until marriage. BAD IDEA

React

TheClevelander

+1 y
Also, you say you "just broke up", how do you know you were dating him, if you didn't have sex?
BaileyisDarcy

+1 y
How do you know... if...
What?
Dude what the hell?
TheClevelander

+1 y
just sayin'

Answer 33

TheClevelander

Also, you say you "just broke up", how do you know you were dating him, if you didn't have sex?

Answer 34

BaileyisDarcy

How do you know... if...
What?
Dude what the hell?

Answer 35

TheClevelander

just sayin'

Answer 36

lia98

Xper 1

wear whatever you want baby as long as you're comfortable with it 😉

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1 Person

Answer 37

cocaths

Xper 6

Nothing is wrong with you. You just like looking good or sexy even. No problem with that at all.

React

1 Person

Answer 38

xvyur

Xper 2

U r young still, showing ur body will attract guys, but not for ur personalty.. Dress as u wanna, but dnt reveal so much...

React

Answer 39

Howells

Xper 6

If you feel good, then keep dressing like that. You have nothing to prove to other persons, it’s your life, just be happy

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2 People

Answer 40

MLGbreezy | 82 opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.

Yoda

there's nothing wrong with you you just wanna be diffrerent and there's nothing wrong with tha people need imbrace there changes hope i helped

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1 Person

MLGbreezy

+1 y
thanks for the HMO
MLGbreezy

+1 y
thanks for the HMO

Answer 41

MLGbreezy

thanks for the HMO

Answer 42

MLGbreezy

thanks for the HMO

Answer 43

TheMexicanGamer

Xper 2

Oh shit not shoulders 😂 dude dress however you want I mean its your style I personally like all black and layers but that's cause im self conscious but you do you

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1 Person

Answer 44

Rick912

Explorer

You look great in the outfits you are wearing now. If you have the body to support that type (which you do) go for it.

React

1 Person

Answer 45

ryanlightning

Xper 6

Wear whatever makes you comfortable really and whatever gives you the most confidence

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1 Person

Answer 46

Storche

Xper 2

Dress like you want, if people complain, just remember, only your own opinion count. Rock the outfits you like, you beutiful no matter what

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2 People

Answer 47

godamn

Xper 3

Where did you get that camera cover from? Looks dope!

React

Answer 48

mT2359 | 113 opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.

Yoda

Wear what u want. But try to be confident in your own skin. Not clothes. It will make you feel important about your personality and individuality.

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1 Person

Answer 49

panda146

Xper 2

You have a nice body but you look good either way👍

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1 Person

Answer 50

carlo502

Xper 2

Nothing wrong with it you like showing off your beauty

React

1 Person

Answer 51

Wolfcat43

Xper 5

But middle school looks cooler... I'd why

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1 Person

toolazyforausername

+1 y
I cringe at my middle school self.
Wolfcat43

+1 y
But street looks better venue though ur current look is more sexy. so its cool vs sexy
toolazyforausername

+1 y
I see.
Show All Show Less
Wolfcat43

+1 y
It's your wish