Ladies, would you be mad if your man wanted SEPARATE bank accounts even when MARRIED?

Ladies, would you be mad if your man wanted SEPARATE bank accounts even when MARRIED?

I always said if I got married I never want a joint bank account, although when married me and my future wife to be would share the same life, but I still think certain things are best kept separate, bank accounts being one of them. The reasons I want separate bank accounts is because:

A) If she has a problem with it then I know why she's really in the relationship.
B) There will be no or at least less arguments about how much we both bring in.
C) If we ever divorced then we know how much is mine and how much is hers, I never want a divorce but it's wise to prepare for the worse.

Plus I think a joint bank account is very unnecessary in this day and age since most women have jobs of their own instead of being housewives like back then, so if we both have jobs of our own and make our own income I don't see the point in having a joint bank account.

P. S: I decided this when my mom and my old step dad had a divorced and took all the money from their joint bank account and didn't leave my mom or me a pot to piss in. (I was 13 at the time)
  • I WOULD BE MAD 😠
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  • I WOULD NOT BE MAD ☺️
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  • How come every time this question is asked ( do a search just to see how often it gets asked) it gets lots of replies. Yet when I ask some original question that no one asked before it gets a ho hum response? Don't people get tired of answering the same questions over and over? :( But for the record, you are dumb if you don't have separate accounts. You never know when one may have a gambling, drug, or some other problem where they spend everything in a joint account or even clean it out and disappear.

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    • I'm surprised of how many replies this question got. I don't know why your opinion got so many dislikes. My old stepdad pretty much cleaned out my mom and his joint bank account while they were divorcing. Anyway here's an MHO.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I wouldn’t marry someone who said no to *any* joint account. It’s common sense to have at least one to pool money and pay bills and household expenses.
    I wouldn’t be mad, I’m just not interested in someone who feels so distrustful they need 100% confidentiality on finances

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    • Why would you equate ownership with confidentiality?

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    • No that's not what confidential means. Confidential is secret between you and your bank. If you are being transparent about a personal account it isn't confidential.

    • @Smegskull feeling the need to have all of your finances completely confidential, as the OP is suggesting isn’t conducive to a successful marriage (in my opinion). I don’t need to “own” his money, but there needs to be a level of transparency and merging to cohabitate on a permanent basis.
      I’m not sure why you’re arguing what confidential means, when I’m not negating the meaning of the word; just outlining that to me 100% financial confidentiality doesn’t work in a marriage

  • If he has a good reason for it, then no, I wouldn't be mad. If it is about trust issues, then ya I would be lol but honestly, when I do get married someday, I want a joint account so we can have a chance to pay things together like bills, food, activities, etc. Things we need. But, also while having our own bank account aswell so we can still be our own person and buy whatever we want but don't really need.

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  • I think it is always important to have separate bank accounts. However I think it would be easier if you shared the same institution and add a joint bank account. That way you can easily transfer money to the joint bank account that should be used for, or called the household account. Bills repairs, kids, etc. You can keep better track of expenses, have a set budget and so on, while also maintaining your own separate account for yourself and expenses outside of the household.

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    • Joint account or not, if you go through a divorce all money, bank accounts, assets, etc have to be disclosed.

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    • The point of marriage is to support each other and the household. If one person is making more than the other, then maybe they should opt to put most the money into the household, retirement funds, savings, paying off their debts faster, etc. Maybe they should be awarded allowances that they put into their own accounts. But there are couples, who do not have kids and do not need to do any of these things. They have their own accounts, split the bills, have their own retirements and savings, etc. It really just depends on the couple and their goals. Some people also are just better off not marrying and just living together.

    • Nowadays no one marries so no one sees the benefits of legal protection you get.

  • I wouldn't be mad at all. I think the most efficient way would be to have separate accounts for our own money and a joint account where we'd both put money for joint bills and for example food.

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    • If the guy makes more would you expect him to put more money into the joint account?

    • I guess it would depend how big of an amount we would need. If was able to put in the same amount, then I would. I don't think we would live in a way where I wouldn't be able to pay my half.

  • I would want separate accounts probably. I would feel much better spending money I earned myself without worrying how it might affect him. And not a huge reason but still, I'd like being able to buy him presents without him seeing it on his account already.

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  • I wouldn’t care, what money my spouse make is his. What money I make is mine, but I’m also not selfish and if he needed help I would be there. Joint or no joint you could set boundaries through legal action or set it to where the other person cannot touch your money without you present. I feel partnership should be 50/50 and you should be able to do whatever you want with your said money.

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  • I support your reasons and don’t find anything wrong. Just because you get married doesn’t mean you share EVERYTHING. People get taken advantage off and all that. I don’t have time for that personally and I like my own stuff. I always thought have a joint bank account was kind of sketchy. If you are to do that, make sure you have a personal account for yourself.

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  • I would actually be very happy that he wants the same thing as me! One of my distant cousins married a guy, and they had a joint bank account. Well, one day she woke up and her car was gone. He had left her and their children, and left her with $5 in the bank account. So yeah, I really want a separate bank account.

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  • Good question... my parents were happily married for 30years (my mom passed away) and had separate accounts. My dad's salary paid all the bills and my mom's was the "fun" spending money. It was only this way when they got out of debt and were in a good financial spot. Definitely a good conversation to have with you SO.

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  • I would not be mad, but I would try to reason to create a shared acc for such expenses as household bills, food amd emergency repairs, that we calculate how much it would be a month and both contribute to it, if there was a significant gap between our salaries then the better paid person would probably have to contribute a bit more.

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  • Lmao, why so many women want a shared bank account? (or just mad for whatever reason, because of this question)
    It would only cause stress and conflicts. Unless you are filthy rich and don't care about money "at all".
    Even if you have separate accounts you can still talk and buy stuff together.

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  • No.
    Personally, I would like a joint account that we paid in our shares of rent/mortgage/food/etc but whatever was left was ours. That way we can buy presents or treats for each other but together we pay for living. It means we could easily keep track of living expenses as well.
    It stops any arguments of who owes what because it’s clear from the statement. I personally think it’s just more sensible.

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  • We've kept our old accounts, but we also have a joint one for the house, common expenses etc.

    We never even really discussed closing the other ones. I doubt we'll get round to it, unless there's some kind of pressing need. In some ways it makes sense to have separate ones, still.

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  • If you're both working then have separate accounts. My mom is (or was- she has a "permanent" summer job) a stay at home mom, so she and my dad always shared my dad's account. It worked well for them because they were in that particular situation but I don't know if it's practical otherwise.

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  • I personally never understood why there should be a joint account in the first place?
    That if both partners have their own jobs and accomplishments.
    My money and efforts are mine only.
    I don't have a problem with sharing, but only after agreeing to share certain amount which can places in another separate account.

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  • I think i would go for both, a joined account for a every day expenses, groceries, mortgage, holidays etcetera and then a personal one for my own.

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  • My mom and dad have separate accounts because my dad keeps spending money, lol.
    When I was younger my mom told me to never share an account with anyone so I'm just kind of following that. My husband better not have a problem with it.

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  • No, I would want a joint account and our own personal accounts. The joint one deals with all our bills which we both put money into and personal accounts for what we want/need, however, I'd be pissed if my husband/wife refused to share money.

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    • If the guy you are with makes more, would you expect him to put more into the joint account?

    • @nathanp97 Depends, if because he makes more money we live in a more expensive area, buy more expensive things etc then yes. If not why would I?

  • No. Sometimes it’s better easier to keep up with in my opinion he has set bills that comes out of his I have set bills to come out of mine and we always take turns paying when going out or whatever but really if I need money he will transfer to my account or me to his... it’s still OUR money we obviously aren’t going to let one another get in trouble or go without so you can’t look at it like that

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  • Depends on the reason.
    If he doesn’t trust me, why the shit is he getting married to me in the first place?
    I’ll probably make more money than him anyway. He’d most likely want to conjoin the bank accounts. 😂

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  • It really foreshadows one foot in one foot out of the relationship. As a guy i ask, why get married with that mentality? Even after a divorce all assets are going to be split. So why get married going halfass into it? You are not trusting money issues with your life partner, why get married?

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  • I can see the value of a joint bank account. Maintaining both makes sense.
    If you two are saving up for something or even just maintaining a weekly budget for things you share. Those funds should go into a joint account. There should be joint savings, joint emergency fund, and either using the savings as a weekly budget account or make a third for that. Then you both have your separate savings/checking.

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  • The smartest move a man can do is get an off shore bank account. This is why people should get another citizenship in a country where the US is not friends with.

    There’s a lot of Americans living in Russia, and Americans living in China. Facts

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  • Nope, because I feel the same way. I wouldn’t be opposed to having a separate joint account with my husband that we each contribute “our” money too however, I still want to have my own money too. He should also have his own money for himself too.

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  • I like the way me and my boyfriend handle it right now. Each of us has his own account where our wages go in. Everyone pays his own bills (smartphone, health injurance, public transport etc) and we did our best to divide our mutual bills (flat, electricity, home internet...) as evenly as possible since we earn about the same. But we do have a shared place where we put some money on the side every month for savings and for groceries/household utensils.
    That way, everyone has his own money for miscellaneous (clothes, books, games, whatever) but we also have money that belongs to both of us.

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  • You’re supposed to have a joint one and a separate one... my parents do. I would not care if he had a separate one.

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  • I wouldn't be angry, but I would ask myself why you would so damn much want separate bank accounts. It's not about the money and I think that both partners should earn their own amount of it, but she could get the feeling that you've got something to hide (at least I would) and therefore be angry. You don't want your soon to be husband to keep secrets from you. She could also feel like you don't trust her, that you think she's just after your money and thats one of the worst feelings. So I can understand while she's feeling hurt, even if I share your opinion with the separate accounts. Just try to feel her and than talk to her beginning with: "I totally understand why you are feeling upset about me wanting this but I have good reasons and I really hope that our relationship is strong enough that you listen up to me and try to understand!!!" Good luck!

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    • What if I let her see my financial overview so she can at least see what I'm spending my money on? Would that make it better?

  • Wouldn't be mad. I think it's a good idea to have your own account.

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  • Hell no i dont need him getting pissy over how much i spend on chocolate milk and slurpies haha separate is best

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  • I love how every woman here in the comments says they want separate accounts... but when it comes to it, they'll want their share of their SO's salary.

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  • Each one account is fine but I prefer the 3 accounts system. Just a single account for the two of us feels weird, I prefer to have track of the money I earn and personal wastes separate from his. I would probably show my numbers and see his if we have to, but it's nice to have order and not everything mixed. Because I like order 3 accounts feels perfect, my account, his account and our account. The third account helps to keep track on things that are common separately of individual stuff, and the money in that account would always come from individual accounts. In the end the 3 accounts means sharing without refusing to be individuals, or that's how it feels for me.

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  • You are not forced to have only one account. Joint accounts come with plenty of benefits. Have your income be paid on your own account and then pour some part of it in the joint account to pay for whatever household expenses there are.

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  • I'd want to have a joint account where *most* our money goes and then separate high interest savings accounts. So we'd have some of our own savings but we could put different amounts aside for a rain day or bills but we'd still be able to see the other persons account with permission for working out what we can afford for bigger purchases ie. Car, uni, house

    But that money would still be controlled by the person who owns the account. I think though, I'll think differently about things once I experience being married. Because if separate personal bank accounts can't be managed civilly, it's not really worth having them.

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    • If your man made more, would you expect him to put more into the joint accounts?

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    • So do you expect the person who makes more to put more into the shared account?

    • @nathanp97 Well I guess so, but it's not like it would matter who. If I earn more than him I'd put more in, if he did than he would. But it's also a joint account. He'd still have complete access to spend from it. But most of the money would be used for house, food, bills, car etc. What do you think?

  • I'd be fine with it for pretty much the same reasons. Bills usually only have one name on them anyway so I pay mine she can pay hers.

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    • *I'd be fine with a separate account, just to be entirely clear

  • I want each to their own account plus another account for family and house things. Basically, calculate the expenses for the family/ house and split those. Rest of my earnings are mine and rest of his are his.

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  • I believe in having separate accounts and maintaining some independents. We still pay shared Bill's together and if one of us needed help from each other we do. We communicate what each other has.

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  • In many places it is wise to keep finances technically separate so that if calamity strikes one or the other can maintain good credit. Lenders love nothing more than to have multiple people legally responsible for the same debt.

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  • Marriage is a partnership. You are a team. You are fully invested in eachother for the rest of your lives.(or at least you should be, or why in the hell are you married). So with that being said. What kind of message does it send if you are not willing to share a bank account? If I love you enough to marry you. Then that means I am invested in you with everything I've got. I'm all in. I expect the same in return. That includes joint finances. Separate bank accounts points to potential red flags in my book. Lack of trust, lack of commitment, not responsible with money, has something to hide. Like I said we're a team. That's what marriage means to me. With all that being said, I understand why some people don't share bank accounts and to each their own.

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  • No, I just think that's sensible. I wouldn't want a joint account

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  • In my country the banks advise people to keep them separate because in case of a divorce money is often stolen from the other person in a joint account.

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  • No, he has the right because we are married it doesn't mean that everything should be shared. Married people need some space in some things sometimes.

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  • Lots of mad people here.. any hoo the solution is to have one joint account and each have their own savings that they work to earn for when they splurge on themselves.

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  • Sounds stupid. Marriage is a team effort, they're your partner in life. How are you supposed to make the best choices if you're not aware of 50% of your financial health?

    Lets be clear about something.. if your SO has a spending problem and goes bankrupt... that will be an issue beyond bank accounts. ANY shared assets (house, car, etc) are subject to bankruptcy court, even if you don't have the credit card issue. So if you are trying to go the route of separate bank accounts, you had better make sure every asset you own falls to 1 person or the other.

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  • No one can see the future. In the sake of both parties its only fair to have different bank accounts.

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    • Also if we are having kids. I would assume WE both make one Account for the child, save money till he is in the age of 21.

  • I'd want to have one bank account for me, one for him, and one joint. We'd both put an agreed amount in the joint every month, but I need my own money so I can spend it guilt free on things I don't really need but want, like accessories. And he should be able to do the same. If I bought something expensive just for myself from a joint account I'd feel bad, and if he bought something from the joint account that I think is a waste of money I'd be pretty upsed. so there should be separate budget for 'us' spending and 'my' spending.

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  • From what I have heard, women want separate accounts when married. If that's true, then they shouldn't have issues when the guy wants a separate account. Such an attitude would be hypocritical. I wouldn't want to be with a woman like that.

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  • Totally agree with you on this! I mean... I want to be able to spend my own money and not rely on a stupid “join account”. I’ve always never seen why people take it seriously after they get married.
    If my partner offered for me and him to get one. My response would be a “HELL TO THE NO” 😂

    He can use his money and do whatever he wants with it but it would be nice if he kept me informed that he isn’t using it on silly things. So when there is a certain event/emergency then we can just chip in 50/50 of our money/savings. I think it’s fair that way...

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    • That might be annoying with things like rent and food. Having a joint account just for that might not be a bad idea.

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    • How about a shared credit card used only for food and house hold stuff you both use?

    • Never happening!! LOL

  • I think its great to have separate bank accounts. And no I wouldn't be mad.

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  • We have both. Each of us have a separate one then we have a joint that we use the most

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  • Hypothetically if I got married I’d be the first one DEMANDING separate accounts!!!

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