Am I allowed to change my mind about sex?

I was very good friends with a 31 year old coworker that I worked with at 18, who had lots of sexual experience while I had absolutely none. I liked him, and he knew that, and I agreed to let him kiss me before work one day. I thought it was going to be sweet but he pinned me to my car in the alleyway, stuck his tongue in my mouth, and I had to pull his hands away from me when he started hurting me (which he thought was funny). When he finally left me to go inside, I was in shock. I liked him but didn’t ask for that.

He began asking me to come over for two straight weeks and that I owed him, and I felt like I did because 1. He kept waiting for me, and 2. He knew I liked him. So I went to his house, and when he closed the door I immediately wanted to leave. I told him I was uncomfortable with the situation and wasn’t ready to go any further with him. He told me to relax and that I was just being shy, and I didn’t know what to do, so I froze like an idiot.

He had sex with me, thought it was funny when I didn’t respond to any of his questions, and when I told him he was hurting me and tried to close my legs as he moved over, he wouldn’t let me and told me “It hurts? What, this hurts? That means you have to do (this) on me.” And then said it only hurt because he’s the first one to have been with me - I censored that, what he said was along those lines.

When I got to work I sat in my car and cried, and when I went to the bathroom my coworker asked me why I looked terrified. I know what happened wasn’t technically okay, but I still went over to his place. Did I have the right to change my mind or do you think I’m over-exaggerating this?
Am I allowed to change my mind about sex?
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