What men THINK matters to us vs. what DOES?

I've been back in the game for a few months now after one of those traumatic break ups. This time to myself has been amazing and I don't want to jump back into a relationship for a while. But I have been dating off and on. And the following rant is merely the result of a ridiculously unsuccessful sequence of dates (duds).

I first want to let it be known that I love and appreciate men. (obviously I can hate them at times when I merely can't understand their reasoning) BUT I love their loyalty, I love their athleticism, I love their courage, I love their organic approach to a situation, I love their honesty, I love their passions, I love their dogs, I LOVE their sex drive. HOWEVER... it seems like lately, within the last 3 months between now and my life saving breakup, I have been getting rotten luck... rats, pigs, goats, ect.

If I have to meet one more cocky little man I'm going to lose it. It seems cockiness is found in everything...

a cute enough guy will assuredly be cocky

a smart enough guy will assuredly be cocky

a FUNNY enough guy will even be cocky

a guy who is SOMEWHAT good in bed will be cocky

If they are only moderately anything... they are dull... they are the guys who text "hey" and expect a reply. Then they get to be obsessive because the less you give the more then want.

I will say in all TRUTH that I do NOT CARE ABOUT LOOKS! I can't sit there with my girlfriends and define what features I want my man to have... because I know in the end... I won't find them... and if I do... I will be disappointed in something else about them. I've dated models, geeks, creeps, jocks... all of the above... and they are all the same... either COCKY OR DULL. Bone structure, nose placement, eye color, hair color, skin color, booger color, muscle tone, height, weight, shoe size... they don't matter in the end. Something that SHOCKS me will matter... I have never seen a truly attractive man because I have never met a truly confident man> CONFIDENT... I will say it again CONFIDENT... not cocky. Someone who exudes confidence is irresistible to me... look like pretty much anything, but act like you are comfortable in your skin and you are out to enjoy life.

Aspects that SEEM to matter to us women;

Hair Cut





Good at sex and/or "large and in charge"

Aspects that I would go crazy for;



Sense of Humor




They are totally different!

I'm just so confused at how I can't get into a stimulating conversation with a guy. I understand many guys I date are intimidated and just want to say the right thing... but if they took CONTROL of the conversation they would much more likely get a second date. I'm just frustrated and disappointed and want to know what you men have to say about why you are either cocky or dull in the dating world of southern california.
What men THINK matters to us vs. what DOES?
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