I need help. but?

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i am almost certain i am either bipolar or have bpd. if it helps my father is bipolar and has been on medication for a long long time.
i have horrible mood swings. i cry and get mad at all things, i have fits of absolute RAGE at my boyfriend & at my parents, sister, i think of suicide and feel like i have no hope (i would never do it because i’m too scared), i’ve self harmed, i’m always either sad or mad (fake happy), i feel depressed, my sleeping schedule sucks (i’m always tired to where i doze off, (anxiety wakes me up every hour), i feel like everyone’s gonna leave me and i’m afraid of trusting people, and many other things.
i did something today that completely changed the game for me. i would rather not say what it was, but let’s just say i disrespected somebody who means the world to me in a way i HATE myself for. but nobody helps me when i ask.
i have spent over a year and a half trying to fix myself. i would do all these little things to help my mood. i progressed significantly. i got better with trust, and some days i’m really good with my anger and crying. but when i talk to my parents , they are CONVINCED it’s because i want attention and because i’m disrespectful. my sister just says “talk to momma. and you just have to stop getting mad” , my grandma agrees but she can’t do anything about it (as she says) , and i don’t want to say anything to my biological father because he recently filed for bankruptcy , and his brother just died i wouldn’t want to put any more burden on him.
i am 18 & a senior. i have talked to teachers , my counselor isn’t very good (she thinks everything is about drama) and i’m just not sure what to do at this point. i am in the process of getting a job so i can save up for myself and get myself help, but none of my applications have gone through yet. i just want to stop hurting the people around me... and i want to stop thinking about stuff before it’s too late.
sorry this is so long. but does anyone have any suggestions?
I need help. but?
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