Do you have any exes who you can’t forgive even if you try? Is that stopping you from moving on? What do you do to let go?

Anonymous
I have an ex who I tried very hard not to hate. I don’t hate him, I have complicated feelings towards him. On the one hand, I will never hate him. But on the hand, I cannot forgive him even now that I haven’t spoken to him in over a year I just can’t stop myself from feeling disrespected with no apology or even guilt on his end. My problem is that even when someone wrongs me I still convince myself that I understand why they did it and I also blame myself for a lot of what I could have done differently. In his case, I tried to make excuses for how I let him treat me because he was depressed and he came from a different background than I did that I couldn’t possibly understand because I was sheltered, and he did what was best for himself and he wanted to experience happiness by seeking a new relationship with another girl who possibly was just more compatible with him, and maybe he didn’t feel he owed me an explanation because I just wasn’t as important to him as he led me to believe...

I told myself all of this thinking that it would help me to not be damaged. But eventually I started to feel like I couldn’t possibly accept how he treatment of me. The thing I did wrong was love that boy and concern myself with his feelings-guilting myself into putting him first. It feels kind of sad to know that only guy I have ever been in love with is also the person I feel so much disdain towards. I feel nothing but regret at ever meeting him. I’m concerned that the damage inflicted on my heart wasn’t worth the lesson. I worry that feeling ANYTHING for him (including anger) is hindering me from moving on. But I tried forgiving him by excusing his behavior and wishing him the best and that only felt like I was spitting on my self respect even more than I had previously done by loving him in the first place. Forgiving him hurts much more than admitting to myself how insulted I truly am
Do you have any exes who you can’t forgive even if you try? Is that stopping you from moving on? What do you do to let go?
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