Why is it a mistake to remain friends if you like the girl?

- Is not the same. I had a friend. We both did a lot stuff. We set day and I pick her up and we hang out we talk a lot different topics. This was 4 years friendship. Started in 2012 to 2014.
Every year started to get feelings. I even cook at her parents home. Their parents literally love me I mean they even asked me if I was going with her to some place or when she was going to a party their parents always tell her call him. I answer and show up. You see can their parents wide smile.
Until, I decided to ask her. She said "no". I tried stay as friends but it wasn't the same. Slowly start to put busy. Next thing you know few month later she had a boyfriend. Once she had a boyfriend I move on.
Years passed by. In 2018 she kept my number and called me how she was in a relationship but not so well and married with a baby. After awhile talking. Hang up and said "oh well 🤷♂️ and thank you God cuz I own a business I don't know what type of life path will be if stayed with her, I am glad she said no".
I learned since then not to have friend zone.Is this still revelant?
Most Helpful Guy
- Because they already made their decision about you. You are now their backup when they hit 30. You'll hit 30 and won't like them anymore. It will reverse and feel weird unfair but at the end your feelings for her are meh by then. It's about you. Make sure you find your equal. Don't let someone use you as a sponge bob. Love doesn't require effort to get. It gets thrown on your lap. Smacks you in the face. And at that time when you identify someone who is in love all over you then you decide at that moment if she is the one. You don't allow friendzone ever. Reason is you are left dry. She finds another guy when she wants and she will (WILL) pick you up when she hits the wall and you don't want that. You want to trade your security of your entire life (marriage) for a woman's good years when she young. That is the full path and that is why as men get older there's less options worth marriage because we want good years left. We have to qualify as player when younger to be okay with someone age 35 when older or she picked us when she was young.
But this is old fashioned thinking too can just be opinion.Is this still revelant?I have really good news for you. Every single woman you met in their 20s you won't want them about 30-35. It's a truly dumbfounding experience bc you think you'll always want till you get older. Then when women 25-29 want you it just drops off a cliff and you say I'm okay I'll just date later 20s bc they don't have kids and the above I said.
It's a teeter totter in my experience. You have a hard time in 20s. They have a good. Then older it switches. It just happens. I prefer 20s bc had more energy but whatever it's a nice gift.
Most Helpful Girls
- It can ruin your friendship
- It can ruin future relationships if you fell out with your so called friend or if she decides she wants you now
- It makes you emotionally unavailable to really fully seek relationships
- Other women might be put off by your friendship and deem it 'red flag' or uncomfortable or think you two are a couple. So even if they like you they won't express it.
- Your emotions don't matter and she is using you as an emotional pillow. Or whenever she needed a favor let's say moving apartments, fixing stuff, carrying things, or a ride
- It hurts seeing her in the arms of other men and being intimate with someone else right in your face, under your nose, and in front of your eyes.
Is this still revelant?- Anonymous1 yIt could end up damaging the friendship.
I was in this situation once where a friend admitted they had feelings for me. I told them I didn't feel the same way and they wanted to forget it ever happened. But we couldn't forget, as much as we tried to go back to normal things were awkward between us especially since they never moved on.
I think that remaining friends would possibly lead the person to believe they still have a chance.Is this still revelant?
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522- OK, let's face the facts: She put you into "The Friendzone".
Should you maintain the friendship? Is there anything on a non-romantic level that appeals to you about her? Intellect? Hobbies? Professionally?
(A very good sample question to ask yourself here is: Can you ever see yourself doing business with her? Could you see her as your Realtor? Your Attorney? I am using examples from my professional dealings.)
If the answer is YES, maintain the friendship.
If the answer is NO, and you really just want her physically, then politely say goodbye.ReactLike
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- Women are so weird. I remember I met this girl that I liked. I asked her out and she said, she just wanted to be friends. I was ok with that because she had other female friends and I figure she would introduce me to them. Whenever I would mention that one of her friends was hot, she would get mad with me. I tried asking her out again and she declined me again. She didn’t want to share me with anyone but she didn’t want to date me, that was really annoying. Obviously, I stopped hanging out with her and started dating the girl I’m currently seeing.React
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- Because she’s going to make her choice that makes her happy to be with the guy she wants to be with. That’s her choice, but you have to realize when it’s time to stop talking to her. Why do you want her friendship anyways? She’s not going to meet up with you alone, she’s not going to talk to when she has a boyfriend in the picture. If you are in this position then focus on yourself and move on. The more a guy hangs around her, the more heartbreak he will feel.React
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yeah so forget her man, i know that feeling all too well of girls doing that to me in the past, girls like that are not genuine they are a waste of time.
- Ask yourself this, if you like her and she wanna remain friends, do you really want a front row seat to watch her fall in love with someone else?
If the answer is yes... Than remain friends.
If the answer is no... Have some pride and cut your losses. She is just one fish in a whole ocean.. She can be replacedReactLike
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- If things are clear that both of you are just friends and if it does not prevent you from getting a relationship on your own, I don't see the problem. However, if either of you uses the other (particularly if the girl uses you for attention and then throws you away when she does not need you) or if one of you still hopes for more, it's best to put a stop to this.React
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1 Person
Don't let yourself get used like that. Relationships (all of them, not just romantic ones) need some sort of balance to be healthy and if she is just using you, you are bound to feel bad eventually.
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Not necessarily, you can just text but if you want to hang out and she does not, it might end up hurting you in the end.
Some people are fine with just texting but, if you are not, don't torture yourself by staying with her and tell her that this is not going to work out because you want someone to hang out with and she is not that person apparently.
- Bro, just youtube JessicaJ she will explain the friendzone to you like no one else my friend.. 🤓🤣React
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- Because you'll get jealous when she find a guy and you'll feel badReact
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Dude, take control ask her out and be 100% crystal on your intentions.. Let her reject you. Move on knowing you have your answer..
You haven't changed whatsoever. She wants you to change. OK listen, 30 days no contact and focus on your life, goals and purpose. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, look up Jessica J on YouTube and GL..
- Because most guys do so in the hopes that she will eventually change her mind. They waste time pining for the girl who is not interested and ed up missing out on other, possibly better, girls.React
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- Anonymous1 yShe will use you for all the bullshit attention she wants from a male without any of the actual benefits of being a boyfriend it’s not worth the headache and heartache to listen to her talk to you about every piece of shit she’s been fucking and how she wish she could find a guy like you and completely ignore the fact that you do everything in your power to be the person she wantsReact
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- Anonymous1 yBecause if it doesn't work out you might not have either. Personally i think that's nonsense. If people can't break up and remain friends in my opinion that tells me they were never really friends to begin with.React
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- Asker1 y
The point I’m trying to make is we don’t hang out at all. I haven’t seen her in years. I try to make plans and everything but she won’t come. She text me and it frustrates me because why are you texting me if you are doing this. There is no respect. Either she has a boyfriend or she only hangs out with guys she is attracted to
- Before I answer, how are you referring to "like"? Does that mean how most people refer to it as (more attraction) or what?React
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- It's not a mistake. It will just be difficult because everytime you talk to her or see her the feelings will resurface and it will be harder to move on.React
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If that's how you see it, then it is a mistake. I just think it's normal but difficult. Not a mistake.
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Of course. If I like them as a friend and they're a nice person, I would like to be friends with them. It's not like they did something wrong by liking me romantically or being attracted to me. We can't chose who we feel this way towards. It's completely natural and if it didn't bother the guy, it wouldn't bother me at all.
- Asker1 y
I’m trying to move on just haven’t been able to. We don’t talk anymore which should help but it hasn’t. I wouldn’t say she is a bad person she just has issues. I apologized to her if I caused her pain but I’m expecting one as well but I didn’t get one. There is no accountability on her behalf
Yeah, like if I were you I'd want an apology as well. However, I'm also someone who doesn't dwell on other people who don't reciprocate the same energy I'm giving them.
- Its not in my opinion, because female friends usually other female friends you can hit on.React
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- Nothing will ever come out of it and she will use you as a venting board for her future boyfriendsReact
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- Because she’ll move on to someone else if the guy doesn’t take my actionReact
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- Because you'll become jealous and feel terrible. Wondering damn I want to be with her but knowing you can't.
Just don't waste your time on a girl or guy who won't reciprocate back. Its not worth it.ReactLike
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1 Person
Its really weird how women always ask if you guys can be friends after your break up or like not suited for one another. They just put ya on the backburner like you don't matter.
- Asker1 y
Exactly she saw nothing wrong with what she was doing. I admit I fucked up the whole situation being emotional. The right way to handle it was to stop answering her text but I kept doing and confronted her to see what was going on and it turnt into an argument. That wasn’t my intention but I stayed quiet for the longest and I had to say something. It was weak on my behalf but hey I will learn from this
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- It prevents one from moving on and causes problems with future relationshipsReact
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- Its a mistake because you give her the opportunity to take advantage of you since she knows you like her.React
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Exactly. Don’t let her take advantage of you. Make her have the decency to respect her own decision of saying no. Did she wanna be your friend before she knew you like her? No? She’s using you. Take it away from her. You’re only making yourself a host to a parasite.
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When she’s using you for attention, yes. If she had any decency she wouldn’t do that to you. She should consider that it only hurts you and doesn’t help, but she’s too into what she’s gonna get out of it. You’re only messing yourself up by staying that way. Let the girl go.
- Asker1 y
@Yads_Is_Back how I can be certain that she is using me for attention? That is just how I feel her intentions could be something else. I say it because she text me for the sole purpose of texting when she isn’t interested in anything like hanging out. Also she knows I like her why would she come want to come near me if it could lead me on? I don’t think it is right but I understand why:
That’s the point: she’s stringing you along. If it meant anything more then she would obviously make it more and go with you. You’re her buddy for attention from a guy
- Asker1 y
Okay I wish I knew this before dealing with it for 3 years. I honestly had no clue and I’m so gullible that I believe she cared about me because she said it. I tried to give her the benefit of doubt but one I had to see what she was doing. Long story short we don’t talk anymore and she is playing the victim like she did nothing. I blame myself for allowing this to happen
Well don’t beat yourself up about it. We all learn from our mistakes. But now you know...
- Because after a couple of months we get bored and start searching for a different guy. Staying friends for a while is ok, until you get to know each other. But dont sleep on the opportunity when it arrives.React
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- because you didn't wanna be friends in the first placeReact
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Sounds like she opened the door for you to kiss her at one point and you didn't.. So now she sees you as a friend she doesn't have to sleep with. Basically a cat playing with a string when its bored..
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Bro, your codependency is tragic.. There's an abundance of women out there that would love to join you in your life.. Just invite them after you've had a decent conversation starter.. 👊🙄
Watch some YouTube relationship advice and get a clearer mental picture of the mentality of this woman.. She is getting away with being a bitch to you with zero punishment. Why stop!!
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