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1 mo
Should I be putting in effort to talk to a girl who’s been ignoring me for a long while?
Anonymous
- No. Don’t.
I hate when women do this crap. They are much more likely to test, pull back, ghost, etc.
But women don’t respect men who over pursue them. Our definition of “over pursuing” is different then there’s. They have much less patience for it.
The reason why is men are hardwired to be action oriented. To get results in school, sports and work we need to be persistent and be aggressive. This unfortunately isn’t true AT ALL when it comes to pursuing women. They like mystery and are more cat like. If they are not reciprocating you have to withdrawal. Act like you don’t care.
I think this the toughest thing a man must discipline himself with when encountering a girl he really likes but she’s not returning the attention. She usually doesn’t feel the same but sometimes she wants to test how needy he is.2|00|0Is this still revelant?Absolutely. But definitely apples to females even more. BUT once you are in a devoted relationship you have to show persistence. Cruel paradox but women often use the common yet bs excuse “oh he wasn’t there for me” when they cheat.
Dogs sometimes get curious. But curiosity definitely kills the cat.
- If its worth trying do it. Try to find the exact reason, of they have other commitments then let it go. U can have other opportunities if you stick on something which will never respond then u will end up losing beautiful times.
Other thing if u keep rejected by someone then take a gap and try other things. sometimes it will help the the one who rejecting you will understand your presence.0|10|0Is this still revelant?
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!What Girls & Guys Said
3253- Set the scene whilst you read this:
Listen to 'Last Call' by Notixx and picture the Grim Reaper as per the album cover then go ahead at your peril.
What's to stop her ignoring you for the rest of your life? Then what? You die!
When he comes to collect your life what'll be your biggest achievement? Being ignored by one girl all of your life, hmph!
Your life's worth more than that so the answer is no my friend.
0|00|0 - Nope. You'll just look desperate and pathetic. Instead, just pay her no mind & ignore her as much possible like you have just moved on (and you really shouystart to just move on). When you stop pursuing her, it may just get her curiosity going wondering why you stopped pursuing her if there was any interest at all to begin with. If she starts to pay you any attention, then it may be worth pursuing, but if not, you've already moved on and that ship has sailed... bon voyage
Just remember dude, be fun, funny adventurous (even on a small mini-scale). No chick likes a whiny little bitch unless they're gonna take advantage of him. Learn to tell great stories and be flirtatious. Keep it light & fun. Hit me back if you have any questions mang0|00|0 - Like many others here have said. Why would you still pursue someone who isn't interested in you? Ah, yes. We humans want to have the thing we can't have. The fact remains, it won't make a difference if you keep putting effort, other than you turning her off even more. Grow a pair and move on. She doesn't want you. Put that effort in not only working on yourself as a guy by mentally and physically improving yourself, but also focus on girls who ARE interested in you.
I have been 'rejected' in the past. Now I'm with a girl who is far hotter physically and better on the inside than all those girls who have 'rejected' me. And I know they are missing out, complaining about why they are single.
I highly advise you to research the 'red pill' philosophy. It has changed lives for the better including mine.1|10|0 - No. Move on. There's flirty pursuit. And then there's chasing. I refuse to chase. I've been told that she was testing me, playing hard to get, etc... I'm not into games that I haven't been told I'm playing or even the rules for them. She doesn't respect you enough for that... cut ties and walk away.0|00|0
- Well it really depends on why she’s ignoring you, but if you really want to talk to her and miss her or whatever then yeah put in effort once or twice but if she still ignores you cut her off it’s not worth it, it’s obvious she doesn’t want to talk, if you’ve already tried to talk to her a lot already and she has ignored you then don’t even bother trying again. Just cut her off and move on and out effort into some one who will return the same energy that you’re giving to them! Good luck.0|00|0
- I wouldn't give anyone the time of day who frequently ignored me, especially if it was an ongoing thing and not something out of the blue that was out of character for that person (in which case, I'd ask what was wrong). That's a huge sign of someone not being interested in you, even as a person (I've even had so-called "friends" ignore me except for when they needed something from me, and that really grinds my gears, so I just forgot about them).0|00|0
- I think the more important question you should be asking yourself is: why should you be even thinking about putting effort into talking to a girl who's been ignoring you? Why would you want to spend time trying with a girl who is either ignoring you or not interested?
Unless this is someone you knew and she was talking before?0|00|0Then I would leave it at that. Give her her space and respect yourself at the same time.
- If she isn't showing any signs of interest then she clearly not interested in you. If she is, she would have.
You can't make her. Life isn't like in the movies.
That's the case, why would you want to spend time with a person that doesn't want to spend time with you?
You ideally want to give your effort to someone who wants you.
Keep chasing, and you will just keep pushing her away.1|10|0 - Whatever your background is with this person, I'd say no. Don't give your time to someone who doesn't value it. If you think you'll have trouble moving on from this person, just focus on yourself. Enhance those skills you always wanted to, take on that hobbie you always had in the back of your mind. Thats a way better use of your time. AND you'll be happier (:1|10|0
- Yes, keep showing effort only if she's ignoring you for good reasons being busy with work, handling a tragedy or just being shy. Do enough effort to let her feel comfortable to be who she truly is around you.0|00|0
- No. If she's actually ignoring you, feed her to the orphans. She ain't worth messin with. Act likenshe dont even exist. Im not saying be mean. Im just saying forget her. If you have to deal w her treat her like any stranger off the street.0|00|0
- Unless she owes you money, or you want revenge for something valid. Let that headache be someone else's problem.
Plenty more tasty dishes out there.0|00|0 - Dude can you guess who I ignore?
I'll put it like this, if some chick is trying to talk to me or bug me and I'm ignoring her... I probably don't even want her around.0|00|0 - You never know what she is going through. Ask your friend to check on her. And once you get to know through your friend as to what's wrong with her. Then text or call her. And this my boyfriend did to me. He also told his mum and his mum called me and also texted me1|00|1
That's why all that happened. So show some maturity and call that girl who you think is ignoring you
- Should I give my paycheck to the guy who let's his dog crap on my lawn?
Seriously, don't humiliate yourself like that.0|00|0 - No, you shouldn’t if you have been pursuing her more and text her much. I think it’s time for you to walk away instead of begging her. And I’m sure there would be no way that she didn’t read your messages... or she might need time so give her a bit space1|00|0
- Nope. Girls that like you don't ignore you. They try to get close to you and flirt with you for fear of missing out. Heck, they even go so far as to treat you, paying for your drinks/meal etc.
Dating isn't anywhere near as one sided as most guys think it is once they learn how to create value to those they meet and can attract girls properly. Learn to be funny and spontaneous, be able to create positive emotions rather than bore a chick, and you'll find they won't run away from you.1|00|0 - Tell us why you would want to do that. If she had any interest she would show it.
Why don't you go after one that IS interested? What are we missing here?0|00|0 - No. Cast a wide net. Put in as little effort as possible till some girl bites. Then put forth enough effort to see if she might be compatible enough. If not, repeat. Do not expend effort and energy on a girl who is disinterested.0|00|0
- Are you a SIMP?
Sure! Go ahead!
Are you a man with self respect?
Then If she is ignoring, please forget about her find another girl who at least respect you and not an attention seeker.0|00|0 - If you don't know why she's ignoring you then yes, otherwise who knows she could have changed during covid or she might not care about you0|20|0
- Absolutely not. Move on and find a girl who appreciates you.
Also, when you do find another girl don't be surprised if girl #1 tries to get your attention. Do not fall for this, she only wants to boost her ego by playing you like a fiddle.0|00|0 - Bro 7.7 billion is earth's population, you will definitely find another girl, don't waste your precious time.0|00|0
- Do you think there is just one answer that fits everyone who asks that question?0|00|0
- Be direct and ask y she is pushing you away. If she is already ignoring you you have nothing to lose and at least an answer to gain. Then you can move on from there0|00|0
Anonymous1 moI ignore someone. A part of me wants him to run back to me, shake me by the shoulders and tell me he knows what’s wrong.0|00|0- No. If she has ignored you then it’s not worth it. And if you go to her after that now then you’re giving her free reign to play with your heart.0|30|0
- How would you do that if she isn’t interested or responding?
Move on... she is busy with other men... as you should focus on a new person who is interested in you.0|10|0 - She doesn't seem to want to talk with you, so why would you bother?0|00|0
- I must really like her... but no leave her alone. Find someone better0|00|0
- No she’s either not ready for a relationship or she’s not interested in you.0|30|0
Women are always ready for a relationship when Mr Right comes along. That is the weakest bs excuse I heard girls say over the years when they reject guys.
But I do agree she’s most likely not interested. At best she’s testing him. It’s really too bad she just couldn’t show some class and said she wasn’t interested.@bluetoblack99 Oh isn’t that a better excuse than saying that a guy is a “loser”, “unattractive”, “narcissistic” why would anyone say the real reason to reject someone
No. The best way to start the rejection is this.
Hey so & so. I want to be honest with you out of respect. Just use the word “respect” first and THEN say you are not interested. Again this only for guys who didn’t insult you.
That will solve 95 percent of male anger problems with all to this. The lack of respect hurts more than the rejection itself- Show All Show Less
Tbh I tell guys the reason why I ignore them or why I’m not interested in talking to them if they keep trying to talk to me and after I tell them they stop.
@ItsASecret26 i wish women could be in the reverse position when it comes to this.
Ignoring someone is rude if they never did anything wrong. It’s cowardly and disrespectful.
Totally fine to reject them. But give them the respect to say your are not interested. Only takes ten fucking seconds to write a text (and you can block them afterwards).@bluetoblack99 Oh okay, well, I remember "rejecting a guy" in high school senior year, but I was very shy and reserved, and this guy came up to me and talked even though the last time we talked was in freshman and he was kind of rude. But he never asked me out or anything though I did basically avoid him and he knew I lost interest but I wasn't toying with him at all. I was also a loner and didn't have many male friends except for this smart Asian guy.
I am not talking about high school kids. I am talking about grown ass women in their 30s who still don’t have the maturity to do this.
@modelUN242 You should never give excuses. Honesty is the best policy. We want the truth. If he's a loser, tell him that (nicely) so he can improve his personality and/or lifestyle. If he's unattractive, tell him that as well (nicely), so he can work out and get a makeover. (But if he's not your TYPE, then be sure to tell him that clearly, because nothing he can do can change that; it's genetic.)
HOWEVER, if he's narcissistic, maybe don't tell him that. Because those type of people can be dangerous. Not in all cases. But just be careful. Use your best judgement.ALWAYS start with tactfully honest yet polite rejection. Tell them you respect them approaching you (most women take for granted). But say you don’t feel the same. Leave it at that.
Do NOT say:
- you are too busy for a relationship
- you are not ready for a relationship
- you don’t want to ruin a friendship (worst of all bs excuses)
- tell them that “some other girl will like them”. No. In that moment he only cares about your reaction.
- your “nice” but...
No no no. Don’t do that. Just say you don’t feel the same but you respect their efforts. Also say you are being honest OUT of respect.
It’s going to sting them and they might get upset. But most guys will process that and be thankful that you had the integrity not to be a selfish liar.I just had one do this bs to me yesterday. She’s 33 years old. It’s absolutely insane.
@Jamie05rhs Well I wasn't ready for a relationship in senior year in general, i wasn't even interested in guys because I was focusing on my studies. Plus this guy was going off to another university. Now, I'm better at communicating my reasons and more confident. But I would NEVER toy with a guy's feelings. If I know he liked me, I would limit contact with him to show that I'm not interested. But so far, I've never been asked out, except for on Facebook by a guy I helped once at university with a homework problem, and I forgot about him. But he found me and asked me to coffee to repay for helping him. I told him I wasn't interested in "dating" but I told him I could meet him at a club games night to just talk and he never came lol.
@Jamie05rhs I've never had a problem with persistent guys because I don't put myself out there as the girl who loves attention. I don't have social media or put pictures online so guys know I'm a very serious person.
@bluetoblack99 Oh i get it, being blunt is better because you don't give them hope, like in those other responses. No, know I wouldn't do that, I would say I'm not interested, thanks. And I wouldn't ask to be friends, that's just stupid.
What would you recommend if the guy is persistent after you rejected him politely?Well first ask yourself if you made it clear. I mean verbally straight up “I’m not interested” clear. Not signals but flat out saying it. Make sure he acknowledged it.
The reason I say that is some women think they have given non verbal “signals”’ they are not interested and that’s good enough. No it’s not at all. You have to be direct.
Now if that happened and he STILL persists than you can mean. Tell him that you were straight up and he’s starting to piss you off. You can call him names and insults. That’s a HE problem now.
Some guys do this persistence crap. It’s stupid and wrong. But I notice women will not be direct on purpose because they like the attention. That’s also wrong.And again when it comes to being blunt. You can be TACTFULLY blunt. You do that by using the word “respect” when dropping the bomb. Say you respect his courage to approach you. Tell him you are being honest OUT OF RESPECT.
Yeah, @bluetoblack99. You did a great job explaining all of that. You should write a MyTake (if you'd like to.)
@Jamie05rhs It’s from years of dealing with bullshit from women for being a genuine (not fake) nice guy. I’ve heard every excuse in the book.
I can pick up on their negative signals much faster now. I called out the 33 yr old ahead of time from carefully watching her responses. She just wants a text buddy and free counseling which is nuts.
But I plan on writing a few takes and then disabling my account. I spend too much time on here.Your welcome @modelun242. I figure if I can save one of my poor brothers out there some dignity then it was worth responding to all of this.
This is how I WISH I was treated in my youth. I have have few women reject me the right way. But it’s rare.@bluetoblack99 what do you mean you called out this woman because she was only messaging you for free counseling?
@On_cloud_wine She was wasting his time and she knew it. She was acting like a high schooler texting him about her problems when she already had the intention of rejecting him. Grown women (in their 30s) should be dating for commitment or marriage.
That’s what society wants/expects from us at that age. Perhaps she was interested and she wasn’t sure where any of it was leading and then suddenly lost interest. Rejection isn’t always something planned.
@modelun242 Thank you. Women like you let me know there is still hope in this world. Really I appreciate you hearing my side of things
And you are exactly right. This morning I sent her a farewell text that was meant to be reconciliatory. Just a quick one saying “hey I know things escalated last evening. But I do hope you have a good week and things go well for you”. She then sent me the longest text I’ve have ever gotten in my life. It was so big there was an arrow to expand it on my phone. I read two sentences and just realized it was word wall diatribe. Like an outpouring of emotional diarrhea.
I didn’t read past the second sentence. She’s out her mind to think I would serious listen to all that drivel. At sleep with the guy first before writing all of that.
It’s her problem not anyone else that a few guys screwed her over. I never once complained to her about my past dating experiences (and I’ve had more than my fair share of horrible women). It’s very insulting to mention something like that when you know their interested. Fortunately that word wall made me lose any last vestige of interest I had in her.
Bottom line is female interest level cuts through everything. If a girl is interested she helps the guy. She will try to put herself in the best light in front of him. Like I said earlier I’ve been around the block a few times and I’m not stupid. I have nothing to gain with communicating with her. It’s not a real friendship anyway. She just wants to use me as emotional garbage disposal. Real friends don’t treat each other like that.
I just sent her a quick “well that’s nice. Have a good day. :) “ and that was it. Done and done.*at least sleep with the guy first before writing all that.
I really wish GAG would let me edit my comments to fix typos.@bluetoblack99 Okay that's just stupid and immature, really? She was spewing verbal garbage. Yeah she's definitely ranting to you. If she really liked you, she would ask to meet up, date, go on more dates, you ask her to be official, etc. There's a process and everyone knows it.
Haha, I had a guy from university rant to me about his experiences with "bad women" and them being slutty, and I just blocked him, I have no time for bullshit, plus i had no interest in him and he didn't ask me out or anything. I also have a male friend and he already has a girlfriend so that's great haha, and i love hearing his opinion on society and experiences in life. I don't have male friends unless there's a circumstance behind it.
But the questions that I usually ask since I'm dating for marriage, is about work, if they want kids, religion, finances, family, etc. Because I don't want to waste my time, so I'm blunt.
@bluetoblack99. Aw. Maybe she was finally opening up to you. I think you're being too hard on her.
@bluetoblack99 And she could have had a mental problem, but obviously you don't want schizos like that. I would have blocked her tbh. Have you met her in person though?
Yeah girls can treat orbitors like their girlfriends. Hell sometimes I talk to my brother like he's my sister.@bluetoblack99 so I’m suppose to sleep with the guy first before spilling out my emotional diarrhea to him? I see..
I have never had a girl write a 4000+ word text to me before. She was wordy before but that was crazy. Nah I definitely don’t want to meet her now. I think I dodged a bullet.
Come to think of it that’s not a bad tactic to turn off a guy you don’t like. Just incessantly bomb his phone lol@bluetoblack99 I have no motivation to talk about myself and share my story unless I felt the guy genuinely cared. Not just curious. But that’s you, right? Genuine? Not fake...
@On_cloud_wine I was being sarcastic. But for real women won’t do that to a guy they are genuinely interested in. Since I’m a bit more empathetic than most guys I deal with that bs. Girls (who aren’t romantically interested) assuming I’m looking to devote time being a free counselor.
If I said from the get go I’m interested (and I did) I f*cking meant it. If your not than that’s fine. Just let me know and I’ll wish you well. Any more communication beyond that is a waste of time. I’m not interested in being your “friend”. You nothing to offer me in that scenario.@Jamie05rhs nah bro. She’s a bit psycho. When I hit the “more button” arrow on her text message I was like WOW. Just an entire wall of text. Crazy.
Imagine what she would do if we hooked up and I decided I didn’t want a relationship? No thanks@bluetoblack99 Oh yeah, don't stick your d*ck in crazy. No offense, but do you attract crazy women? Cause if there's a pattern in the women you're attracting maybe you should change your stance?
@On_cloud_wine yeah I admittedly do. Need to get off GAG. But then again I’m not looking to date any of you. Just saying.
@On_cloud_wine also (not to write some more). I don’t write lengthy diatribes like that troll bitch “nella” on GAG. Who would be dumb enough to read that anyway?
@bluetoblack99 what I kinda mean is that, you write a lot, and you made her feel so comfortable with you that she is just pouring Her heart out about everything. Who knows? She probably has NO ONE in her life and for some damn reason, she is with you because you give off this vibe that you care, but you have this hidden agenda to get in her pants or make something romantic out of this, and she’s killing your vibe.
@modelun242 in short yes. But I tbh I have very limited options considering where I live among other things. It really sucks. But I’ve been accused of the crime of looking for the best in people.
Anyway I think I’m going to be down on this post.
@modelun242 love you girl. I have no idea who you are but I’m sure you will do great. Hope you find an awesome guy in college. You deserve the best :)
@Jamie05rhs going to take your advice and work on a take called “The right and WRONG way to reject a guy”. Going to be fair and insightful as possible.
@on_cloud_wine I think you an I can agree to disagree. But I wish you the best of luck whatever you are doing. Peace.I understand... like I would never want to get paid to listen to people’s problems all day. Have you ever been around a negative person before? If you’re at all empathetic, it’s like literally drowning. So, you’re telling us there’s a proper and respectful way to reject someone, but when you reject this one, don’t dare tell her she wasted your time.
"If I said from the get-go I'm interested, I f*cking meant it."
Imagine what she would do if we hooked up and I decided I didn’t want a relationship? No thanks"
@bluetoblack99 Sorry, man; I have to call you out on that one. If you're going to just leave after having sex with her, then no, you didn't "f*cking mean it."Though I did 100% agree with the first thing you said until you said the second thing.
Also, I'm glad you're doing the MyTake and I look forward to reading that! :)@Jamie05rhs I wasn’t intending to bang her and leave. That was sarcasm. No I actually was interested in her beyond sex. She knows a lot about advanced fitness training and so do I. She’s also well educated.
@Jamie05rhs the whole point is that was a lot of drama before anything good happened. Usually the romance and sex happen first and all that craziness follows.
The craziness is just displacement from her hurt feelings from other guys. That’s 1) a clear sign she’s not romantically interested in me. 2) complete bullshit and disrespect thinking I’m a whipping boy for other problems she has in her life.
I never even met her. But if she thought I was attractive I guarantee you she wouldn’t of dumped out all that crap.@Jamie05rhs I got some history on why this quickly triggers me. Don’t want to start ranting again. We can DM. But I like having these women on this thread see my experiences. I want them to think twice on how they handle certain scenarios.
Yeah, but do you WANT to have craziness after the sex? I personally would not. I would much rather have any drama that was going to happen happen BEFORE we have sex. That way I can avoid having sex with them.
Also, she might just be telling you about that stuff because she's trying to make you aware of situations that were unpleasant for her and that she wants to avoid in the future. She's giving you examples of what not to do.
- If she has been ignoring you, she is not interested.
Move on.
Do not make a fool of yourself, or risk a career (or education) ending sexual-harassment complaint.0|10|0 - It’s not worth it. You’ll just keep talking to her and she’ll just keep ignoring you, keep your head up man0|00|0
- Probably not. At most you will just get friend zoned.0|00|0
- If I would be in ur shoes I would move on and not pay attention to her.0|00|0
- God no. That’s called being desperate. I know it can be tough, but its time to move on brother. There are other women in this world who will appreciate you.1|10|0
- If she's ignoring you, it's time to move on to someone who won't.0|10|0
- Anonymous1 moIgnoring you how? Not responding to a message? Or not initiating?1|00|1
- No. Sur wants to be left alone, abd three more you push, the more you'll pay her away.0|00|0
- Do this ,, walk up to her and tell her ,, look im interested in you, and i wanna know if we vibe,, she will answer yes or no,, then go from there0|10|0
- No don't waste your time. If she is ignoring you than she doesn't want to talk to you and your time will be better spent searching for someone who shows interest in what you have to say.0|10|0
- Anonymous1 moif she's ignoring you she doesn't want to talk to you. are you this clueless? 1|00|0
- No Way---Look the Other Way. xx0|00|0
- No waste of time. But watch you stop making an effort she is going to talk to you1|00|0
- Anonymous1 moThere's a song by morrissey called the more you ignore me, the closer I get. I suggest you listen to it1|00|0
- why would you now if you didn't want to before?0|00|0
- I need more information.0|10|0
- No, not at all. She's most likely not interested.0|20|0
- Anonymous1 moWell, if she's ignoring you that means she doesn't give a damn😂0|00|1
- Um, no. I think you know this pal0|20|0
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