How do you heal past hurts?

[Anonymous]

I dont think anything ever heals fully to be honest. I have been through a lot myself. I'm going to give you my life story and explainations so buckle up. So, when I was 6 years old my father started molesting me. It only happened a couple times, that I remember. My mom divorced him when I was 9 and blamed me for their divorce. I'm now 27 and those words still fucking kill me. The abuse doesn't, however. At 13 i watched my baby sister die and I watched my mother trying to breath life back into her. I was there when the paramedics told my mom that my sister was gone and there was nothing they could do. Her screams still fill my nightmares. When I was 15 I was persuaded sexually by a man 15 years older than me. He used me for sex while telling me he loved me. He promised that when I turned 18 he would be with me. A year later I found out he was married and getting a divorce. He ended up with his ex wife's best friend, not me. That killed me. I still think about it. At 16 my best friend died in a car wreck after drinking and driving. He texted me that night and I ignored him because I didn't want to waste the minutes on my phone. I got the phone call of his passing 4 short hours later. I still blame myself for it, thinking that if I had just texted him back, maybe he would still be here. I fell in love shortly after with a boy my age. I waited on him for 9 years. He never reciprocated that love and ultimately we ended 4 years ago. I still miss him. I still crave him. But it doesn't hurt as much.

So, basically, what I am trying to get at is despite all of these things that I have been through and how much therapy I have gotten, the pain never fully goes away. It's something that I will probably live with for the rest of my life. You have to make peace with your heartache. Remember it. Cry about it. Build yourself up through that pain. You will come out stronger and you will find that as years pass, the pain isn't as heavy. Please keep your head up.

[Romi93]

First I would say forgive yourself and others involve in that situation. I think this is crucial to letting things go.
Focus on yourself, new hobbies, things you are exited about that can distract you from what is hurting you.
Try meditation and focusing on the present. What hurt you is in the past and there is nothing we can do to change it, so it's best to stop dwelling in the past and focusing in the present and future.
If you are having trouble letting go of things, you can always seek professional help too.

[ohshee]

Well you have to let it go ,, you have to understand good or bad people are people some care some don't you happen to be one that cares you also have to understand when most things happen we tend to blame ourselves and once you do that learn from it and let go ,, because then you live in the NEGITIVE and it's always in your head or heart the longer you keep the pain there it starts ruling you and taking over you and who you were meant to become so take all your past hurts 1 at a time let's pretend brake up with boy friend ,, sure it hurt but why don't you think of it as it was meant to happen because someone is trying to protect you because in the long run her was going to hurt you ,, we have all been programmed for a break up to hurt but really why does it have to be thst way maybe one of your angels made things happen because there is someone way better for you but you will never know that BECAUSE your stuck in your head and heart and if you really pay attention the things that happen thst are bad that Moment turn out to be a blessing

[TheDad75]

Use them as learning experiences.

[NyceGuyFinishingLast]

By not dwelling on them. Not the same thing as forgetting them. You touch fire and it burns you and you remember that always but you don't let it deter you from using fire. It is a reminder so that hopefully you don't make the same mistakes like in a relationship. When you try a new relationship you cannot enter a new situation with a full cup from past hurts or damage from a previous engagement. If you do how will you replace all the hurt and suffering with possibly new happy wonderful feelings? You will have no where to put them. Plus carrying your hurt from the previous person will only be projected onto this new person who has done nothing wrong from the start. So empty your cup and allow new experiences to heal your emotional and mental scars. Let time wash away wounds so that you can remember but move on.

[TruthBringer]

1. Time. Time heals all wounds, BUT not on it's own.
2. Working on yourself both mentally and physically (increase knowledge, workout, hobby's)
3. Enjoying present moments by going out doing stuff (amusement parcs, activities, traveling)

- All of the things above point to you getting ahead of your current self who is experiencing hurt. In order to get over hurt, you will need to get out of the phase you are in, in your life by bettering yourself and keeping yourself busy

[cc-catlady]

You narrow down the root of the problem, such as why does it hurt? How did it get to that point to make you feel depressed right now? What could you learn from as a lesson about this damage your past made you feel? Then you build up from there with improvements to make in the future

[Alfleria]

Because of bad relationships with your partner? Family? Or friends?
Mostly time will heal almost everything. Depends on how deep the scar is or how broken your heart is.
But I think different approach are needed depends on the source of the pain.

[SuccessfulHornDog]

Hurt is something that almost all of us encounter in the world of love and relationships. Some pain can last for a long time but it will eventually go weaken and away. Allow yourself to cry and grieve if that's how you feel, because that will speed up the process greatly.

If it gets to bad you should talk to your parents about seeing a doctor or therapist

[Aiko_E_Lara]

You just have to realize that the past is past no matter what and there is nothing you can do to change it but what you can change is your future. If you have wasted a lot of time focusing on your past, what do you think your future self would think? It's time for you to make a goal and start over as you still have more future to come.

[5points2gspot]

Meditate. Working through each aspect of pain, don’t cover it up & no one can do it for you but you. Seek a therapist: & remember, you’re not alone. Lots of us out there doing the exact same thing. Pray 🙏🏻

[Lov2PlezUgurl]

it takes more than time it takes accepting the fact and forgiveness also if you leave out eather one you will waste so much of your life crying about it in the end it's your life so get it back any way you can

[Zeynep1998]

For the hurts that happened a LONG time ago, I simply forgive them and ask Allah/God to forgive me my sins just as I have forgiven them. For hurts that are more recent I simply vent to my husband and friends and then slowly come to terms with it.

[Emanon_18]

Make new things, get yourself busy with other things so you don’t think about it, sorry to hear that.

[Nipper68]

Healing can take a life time ' for me it was accepting the loss and then living in the now ( as in the here and right now present moment ) it help me take small steps to forgiving them and eventually forgiving myself for allowing self harm , ie not eating calling myself bad things like she left you because bla bla blah , so acceptance, forgiveness. Living in the day , and self love , allowed me to let go and grow.

[David92506]

What I've learned from therapy is that we can't change the past.
But we can change our perspective.
Changing from the inside-out takes time, energy, effort, and money.

[Itsok2behapp-e]

What's one of these 'hurts' that you're trying to get past?

[SelflessMe]

I've never been able to and know of no one that ever could. Time itself is the only healer
of wounded hearts, the only extinguisher of
life's pains.

[jennifer_bloom]

I look for God and train my mind by meditating and studying bible passages - the process of analysis and thinking changes me

[RemoErdosain]

You put @Sweetener_ on them. Just kidding. I'm hoping time will heal my wounds. Working on oneself could help too, maybe. I'm aiming for that

[princessde]

After the guy I lost my virginity to dumped me, I hooked up with 21 guys and finally found love. The one I'm in a relationship with is the 22nd guy but we did not hookup. It's my first relationship.

[TisTheTruth]

Don't look at life as a series of past issues to deal with. Look at the bigger picture. Why let the past drag your future down?

[Anonymous]

You pretend they didn’t happen. That’s what I did and I am a new person! I swear to you that’s the secret!! Throughout the day, everyday, I say to myself “I am healed. I never went through any trauma.” Etc. I did it for 2 months straight and guess what? Now a few months later, I AM HEALED!! My brain quite literally feels like I never went through any trauma. It’s a miracle.

[FireRedPikachu]

The past can be forgotten but cuts are their to reminds us where we've been so we dont repeat it.