Why are women still polite even though they dislike or hate me?

Anonymous

So I’m mostly ignored by women but I notice they will still be polite like today I was leaving a bookstore after getting my textbooks and a girl ahead of me held the door. I said thanks she didn’t say anything back.

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2Girl Opinion

1Guy Opinion

AI Bot Choice

Superb Opinion

btbc92
Master

1 y

Just because a person doesn't like you, it doesn't mean people don't have morals. At least for the ones who still do. We are still to be kind to one another, bless our natural enemies, love those who hate you, etc.

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Is this still revelant?
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Well the thing is I have done nothing to these women and most of them hate me

Most Helpful Girl

jennifer_bloom | 1.9K opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.
Master

1 y

I am nice to everybody unless I’m rebuking them or defending myself against them or offended by an insult they gave me or view them as a threat to a person or thing or moral value I consider important - It’s just not beneficial to be bad

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Is this still revelant?
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Yeah I just get a strong vibe most of these women strongly dislike me
- jennifer_bloom
  
  1 y
  It might be your own negative self talk and not facts or maybe they dislike you because they are responding to your belief and expectation that they do not like you - people treat you the way you expect them to treat you unless they are racist or attracted to you or scared of you

Most Helpful Guy

TeddyGotT
Xper 5

1 y

Uh, because being polite doesn't equal sexual attraction

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Is this still revelant?
- Asker
  
  1 y
  But why hate someone you don’t know
- TeddyGotT
  
  1 y
  How do you know they are?
- Asker
  
  1 y
  It just seems like it I notice women are extremely cold around me this has nothing to do with being interested or even being friends. I’m very shy and I can feel it it’s like a feeling if I don’t want you here
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- TeddyGotT
  
  1 y
  Well dude, that's just you feeling it not what's actually going on; that's pretty much paranoia
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Well no women ever talk to me doesn’t that confirm it
- TeddyGotT
  
  1 y
  Not even a little bit, the fact that you state "I’m very shy" is why nobody talks to you, because they don't see a need too because you're basically invisible; it's not even close to hate and it's actually all on you.
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Can shyness make women uncomfortable
- TeddyGotT
  
  1 y
  Extremely uncomfortable yeah; it's not just women either. It still doesn't mean they hate you though.
- Asker
  
  1 y
  So what does it mean
- TeddyGotT
  
  1 y
  Hold up, I am confused here. Do you genuinely not see what you have to do to correct this issue you have caused for yourself? It's literally just the polar opposite of what you have been talking about.
- Asker
  
  1 y
  No I don’t see it like not good at this stuff what do I need to do
- TeddyGotT
  
  1 y
  Okay... fair enough.
  
  First off you need to stop assuming that women hate you just because they won't talk to you; you're extremely shy and, as I said before, you're basically making yourself appear as invisible -- you're ignored NOT hated. Shyness is not so easily overcome but you do need to start addressing it and pretty damn soon.
- Asker
  
  1 y
  So if they make eye contact and intentionally avoid me that’s like dislike or hatred
- TeddyGotT
  
  1 y
  No, that's just them moving around you and can be explained away a dozen different ways
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Yeah I have naturally always assumed that was hatred like it makes me feel bad when women don’t want to be around me
- TeddyGotT
  
  1 y
  Yeah I got that, but it really isn't that at all
- Asker
  
  1 y
  So how do I make women comfortable around me
- TeddyGotT
  
  1 y
  You need to work your shyness, it's more than just eye contact; it's posture, presence, conduct, how long or intensely you look at someone. It's really a job for a professional to tell you how to proceed.
- Asker
  
  1 y
  So women can tell when something is off
- TeddyGotT
  
  1 y
  Not just women, just about anyone can tell when someone is acting "off"
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Yeah it makes me feel like shit and not want to leave my apartment
- TeddyGotT
  
  1 y
  When you're wrapped up in such strongly perceived false negativity then it makes sense that you wouldn't leave.
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Yeah it’s worse when I see these same women being friendly to other guys
- TeddyGotT
  
  1 y
  Yeah but have you ever taken the time to notice how the guys behave?
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Well they aren’t shy
- TeddyGotT
  
  1 y
  It's been said many times before -- emulation is the key
- Asker
  
  1 y
  Well I can try but I definitely will stand out not in a good way
- TeddyGotT
  
  1 y
  At first, but do it long enough and it'll become the new normal
- Asker
  
  1 y
  What if I said that wasn’t the only thing going on
- TeddyGotT
  
  1 y
  Then you'd need to elaborate
- Asker
  
  1 y
  What about if I’m on the autism spectrum
- TeddyGotT
  
  1 y
  Doesn't matter all that much, you're clearly high functioning so you are still more than capable of learning how to properly act around women

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