This right here is exactly what I needed to hear. I made the mistake of sticking around instead of leaving and everything you stated happened. She just ended up using me to complain about other guys or reach out when she was bored and wanted attention. I wanted more but I was too weak to walk away. The situation ended badly because I got fed up and now there is bitterness on both sides
God I wish I had heard of this a few years ago, would be easier to move on and I could have been better off... 3 years... what a waste
We already went on a few dates, and she ended things. When she said she still wanted to hang out as friends I thought that might be ok, but thinking about it some more I'd rather not be friends with someone who I see as potential for more than friends
Well, tbh, if you are dating other guys in a clearly romantic context while wanting him "as a friend only" you are in fact friendzoning. There is also a word for "I have to know you better... to see potential": It is called cushioning.Psychology tells us that human beings are able to determine romantic attraction within split seconds. Works for both sexes.There are rare exceptions where people fall in love after they know the other person for extended time, but the idea of "I have to get to know you better before I can determine whether I want to date you" is outright silly. Sorry if that word is rude, but the very concept of dating is to get to know each other before commitment. If there is not even the initial romantic interest to consider meeting the other person as a "date" rather than hanging around with a buddy there is no hope anything serious will ever develop.
@connythebaker Thanks for your impression. It's ok, I understand each person can have different views respectfully.
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Do you have a reasons to believe that is a better approach than just not hanging out with her?
You do you.. Boo boo
We went on a few dates and she ended things, so she already knows I see her as more than a friend
So then it should be easy to tell her that you're not ready to accept her as a friend just yet because you have feelings for her still so you'd prefer to take some time apart until you're completely over the break up.
Then bail. You're holding on a malignant tumor. Cut your losses and bail.