This right here is exactly what I needed to hear. I made the mistake of sticking around instead of leaving and everything you stated happened. She just ended up using me to complain about other guys or reach out when she was bored and wanted attention. I wanted more but I was too weak to walk away. The situation ended badly because I got fed up and now there is bitterness on both sides
God I wish I had heard of this a few years ago, would be easier to move on and I could have been better off... 3 years... what a waste
We already went on a few dates, and she ended things. When she said she still wanted to hang out as friends I thought that might be ok, but thinking about it some more I'd rather not be friends with someone who I see as potential for more than friends
Well, tbh, if you are dating other guys in a clearly romantic context while wanting him "as a friend only" you are in fact friendzoning. There is also a word for "I have to know you better... to see potential": It is called cushioning.Psychology tells us that human beings are able to determine romantic attraction within split seconds. Works for both sexes.There are rare exceptions where people fall in love after they know the other person for extended time, but the idea of "I have to get to know you better before I can determine whether I want to date you" is outright silly. Sorry if that word is rude, but the very concept of dating is to get to know each other before commitment. If there is not even the initial romantic interest to consider meeting the other person as a "date" rather than hanging around with a buddy there is no hope anything serious will ever develop.
@connythebaker Thanks for your impression. It's ok, I understand each person can have different views respectfully.
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Do you have a reasons to believe that is a better approach than just not hanging out with her?
You do you.. Boo boo
We went on a few dates and she ended things, so she already knows I see her as more than a friend
So then it should be easy to tell her that you're not ready to accept her as a friend just yet because you have feelings for her still so you'd prefer to take some time apart until you're completely over the break up.
Then bail. You're holding on a malignant tumor. Cut your losses and bail.
That's normally good advice, but we have already been on a few dates and she was the one who ended things. So the pair I would grow would actually be a third sphere
Yeah, so I would say "I appreciate the offer but I don't see you as a friend, I'll have to decline"
Sounds good, thanks
What are you? The FNG? Ever heard of a stock, barrel stabilizer?
@Dinosaursandanime65How is it selfish
@MysteriousDarkness I can't explain. Just think. It will come together.
@Dinosaursandanime65Since you said it sounds selfish to you explain because you can? If you do not it means you just said something just to be able to say you said something.
@MysteriousDarkness just think. Not wanting to hang out with another variable just because they don't see you as a partner/ don t want to be partners and are happy as friends. How is that not selfish?
Also, I like your name. Let's enter the shadows
@Dinosaursandanime65It could make it awkward if onesm wants to be friends while the other wants to be more. For so. e it hards to see someone just as a friend when you want more.
@MysteriousDarkness let's enter the shadows.
@Dinosaursandanime65That will not happen.1. You are too young2. You would be scared if you were go where I have been snd see what I have seen
@MysteriousDarkness What did you see? Young Bloods are good at surviving. I saw a skinless person A LONG TIME ago but it wasn't that scary. And no one else saw him. It was a guy from one my dad's old posters. He ran really fast towards me but when he hit the window he became thin as paper.
@Dinosaursandanime65Nice made up story.
@MysteriousDarkness *Hhhhzzzz-eeee*. I don't know maybe it was a dream. Would it be considered made up of it was a dream?
@MysteriousDarkness I'll catch you later, Ya nooooob...
Yo kid what is it about me that makes you call me a noob?
@Dinosaursandanime65I find it funny that you called me a noob.
@MysteriousDarkness Mostly because I was watching Macros (A youtuber) for noobs series of videos and at the end of each one he says "Yaa Nooooooooooooob-". That was one of the last things I watched after coming back here. It was in my mind and noob is a satisfying word. That's pretty much it.
@Dinosaursandanime65Do not talk to me anymore.