When dealing with a girl in a so call friendship and she complains about other guys to you, text you when she is bored and won’t hang out what to do?

Question

Walk away

Cut all contact

Confront her to see what is up

Do nothing

Select age and gender to cast your vote:

GirlGuy

Updates:

1 y

The people that said confront her why?

Answer 1

lana77

Xper 6

Sorry to say but I think you need to ditch her. It seems like she is just using you. What you're describing isn't healthy even for a friendship. She is keen on talking to you only when she wants an ear to hear her complaints, but offers nothing to you in return. Your efforts are better spent on individuals who will genuinely care for and respect you back.

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1 Person

Asker

1 y
I mean she stopped talking to me about other guys but now it’s more of I’m just convenient for her. When she is bored she’ll text me or when everything falls apart I’m her friend. We never hang out at all partly because of me.
lana77

1 y
No this really sounds like poor behavior on her part. Trust me, you don't need this girl. It's hard to see that sometimes when you have feelings for someone that make you want to give them the benefit of the doubt and can blind you to their toxic qualities. But from what you post, it is clear that this girl is bad news. You deserve better.
Asker

1 y
That maybe true but I told her i like you in the past so clearly she is uncomfortable with anything beyond a text friendship. The fact that I tried to force something that just wasn’t there makes me a bad person.
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lana77

1 y
It does not make you a bad person! You're human and you have feelings for this girl. It's normal to want to try and stay connected. But what is wrong is for her to use you and take advantage of the feelings she knows you have for her. If she's uncomfortable, she needs to say so and stop contacting you instead of choosing to reach out whenever it's convenient for her.
Asker

1 y
But I acted entitled. I wish I saw your advice before I confronted her. I would’ve just ditch her but I tried to talk to her and it started an argument.
lana77

1 y
I would try to not worry about the argument and just cut things off with her. I know it's hard but it will be worth it in the end. Try to get out there and meet someone new!
Asker

1 y
Thanks for the advice. For what it’s worth she doesn’t talk to me anymore so she made the decision for me.

Answer 2

Asker

I mean she stopped talking to me about other guys but now it’s more of I’m just convenient for her. When she is bored she’ll text me or when everything falls apart I’m her friend. We never hang out at all partly because of me.

Answer 3

lana77

No this really sounds like poor behavior on her part. Trust me, you don't need this girl. It's hard to see that sometimes when you have feelings for someone that make you want to give them the benefit of the doubt and can blind you to their toxic qualities. But from what you post, it is clear that this girl is bad news. You deserve better.

Answer 4

Asker

That maybe true but I told her i like you in the past so clearly she is uncomfortable with anything beyond a text friendship. The fact that I tried to force something that just wasn’t there makes me a bad person.

Answer 5

lana77

It does not make you a bad person! You're human and you have feelings for this girl. It's normal to want to try and stay connected. But what is wrong is for her to use you and take advantage of the feelings she knows you have for her. If she's uncomfortable, she needs to say so and stop contacting you instead of choosing to reach out whenever it's convenient for her.

Answer 6

Asker

But I acted entitled. I wish I saw your advice before I confronted her. I would’ve just ditch her but I tried to talk to her and it started an argument.

Answer 7

lana77

I would try to not worry about the argument and just cut things off with her. I know it's hard but it will be worth it in the end. Try to get out there and meet someone new!

Answer 8

Asker

Thanks for the advice. For what it’s worth she doesn’t talk to me anymore so she made the decision for me.

Answer 9

Anonymous

Reduce contact and see what happens, if she chases harder she could be looking for a more serious relationship with you but confront her too see what's up

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1 Person

Asker

1 y
We honestly aren’t dating. We are in some weird friendship. I like her and she doesn’t treat me like a friend. She just comes to when she is bored or in the past when she has problems with other guys. Besides that a real situation is nonexistent. I like her
roxbby

1 y
This is the best technique for seeing whether she is worth it. You should reduce contact and see what happens. I'm just saying, a good healthy friendship means that they both talk to each other. She only comes to talk to you when she's bored. That means she's using you, and she doesn't genuinely care about you. You just make her feel good when she feels down, and then she talks to the people she actually cares about. If she's not close with you, she's close with someone else. That's just the way it is.

Answer 10

Asker

We honestly aren’t dating. We are in some weird friendship. I like her and she doesn’t treat me like a friend. She just comes to when she is bored or in the past when she has problems with other guys. Besides that a real situation is nonexistent. I like her

Answer 11

roxbby

This is the best technique for seeing whether she is worth it. You should reduce contact and see what happens. I'm just saying, a good healthy friendship means that they both talk to each other. She only comes to talk to you when she's bored. That means she's using you, and she doesn't genuinely care about you. You just make her feel good when she feels down, and then she talks to the people she actually cares about. If she's not close with you, she's close with someone else. That's just the way it is.

Answer 12

Liam_Hayden

Guru

You are being used as an emotional tampon. Ignore her.

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1 Person

Asker

1 y
I got her to stop talking about other guys

Answer 13

Asker

I got her to stop talking about other guys

Answer 14

Jennajay1719

Xper 7

do you like her? And if yes does she know?

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Asker

1 y
Yes to both
Jennajay1719

1 y
Did she say she likes you?
Asker

1 y
She doesn’t
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Jennajay1719

1 y
she just sees you as a friend to talk to. Its best to forget about her
Asker

1 y
I guess so. this ain’t a situation worth staying in because what do I get out of this?
Jennajay1719

1 y
I went through the same couple years ago with a guy, but he would flake on me all the time until I decided it was just a waste of my time so I cut ties with him
Asker

1 y
Like you said the best decision is to cut ties. It isn’t worth it. Clearly these people don’t have respect for you and they’re just bored with their life so they deal with you until something better pops up. They have no interest otherwise.
roxbby

1 y
Just stop talking to her. Ignore her messages. Don't block her or continue to confront her. Just leave it. I've dealt with this situation, and the best option is to leave it be and stop talking to her completely.
Asker

1 y
@roxbby I did exactly what you said. She left me alone so sometimes I wonder was it me or her
roxbby

1 y
It's definitely her. Someone like her sounds like an absolute douchebag. You shouldn't worry about her. It's HER, not you. Don't blame yourself for the shitty personality of another human being. :)
Asker

1 y
It was my fault as well. There was some bad communication on both sides and no honesty at all from her. I tried to force something that wasn’t there. I should’ve walked away early when I notice the toxic stuff. Do you know we fell out 4 times and reconnected?
roxbby

1 y
Just leave it. The way you talk about the issue makes it sound like it's a problem caused from her side. Just leave her completely from your mind. :)

Answer 15

Asker

Yes to both

Answer 16

Jennajay1719

Did she say she likes you?

Answer 17

Asker

She doesn’t

Answer 18

Jennajay1719

she just sees you as a friend to talk to. Its best to forget about her

Answer 19

Asker

I guess so. this ain’t a situation worth staying in because what do I get out of this?

Answer 20

Jennajay1719

I went through the same couple years ago with a guy, but he would flake on me all the time until I decided it was just a waste of my time so I cut ties with him

Answer 21

Asker

Like you said the best decision is to cut ties. It isn’t worth it. Clearly these people don’t have respect for you and they’re just bored with their life so they deal with you until something better pops up. They have no interest otherwise.

Answer 22

roxbby

Just stop talking to her. Ignore her messages. Don't block her or continue to confront her. Just leave it. I've dealt with this situation, and the best option is to leave it be and stop talking to her completely.

Answer 23

Asker

@roxbby I did exactly what you said. She left me alone so sometimes I wonder was it me or her

Answer 24

roxbby

It's definitely her. Someone like her sounds like an absolute douchebag. You shouldn't worry about her. It's HER, not you. Don't blame yourself for the shitty personality of another human being. :)

Answer 25

Asker

It was my fault as well. There was some bad communication on both sides and no honesty at all from her. I tried to force something that wasn’t there. I should’ve walked away early when I notice the toxic stuff. Do you know we fell out 4 times and reconnected?

Answer 26

roxbby

Just leave it. The way you talk about the issue makes it sound like it's a problem caused from her side. Just leave her completely from your mind. :)

Answer 27

Anonymous

She mostly looking for advice from you.

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Asker

1 y
Okay and what good is that?
Asker

1 y
She just wants to vent because at the end of the day she is gonna do what she wants

Answer 28

Asker

Okay and what good is that?

Answer 29

Asker

She just wants to vent because at the end of the day she is gonna do what she wants

When dealing with a girl in a so call friendship and she complains about other guys to you, text you when she is bored and won’t hang out what to do?

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