I was sitting, contemplating how far along I have come from “the worst year of my life.” I made my profile picture 2 photos, 2 years apart if you would like to see. But there I am in the first photo during the worst year of my life, a few weeks before my 21st birthday. 2018 was the year I just couldn’t win no matter how I tried. The second picture was take earlier today. I turn 23 in a few weeks and while I feel vastly different from how I used to feel, I still feel misunderstood -but not because I wear a mask pretending to be happy-but because now I am basically an open book and I get told way too often that I “seem” this way or that way. This website is where I got a lot of the advice that helped me when nobody in person could even fathom how miserable I was every day - when I would try to simply stay “okay” long enough to just make it to the end of the day or when I wouldn’t talk to people or go outside. But as I looked at these photos of myself I felt like I finally like how I feel. Now, I am myself. I make or share posts about my life, my feelings, or the exciting things going on around me. I actually spend time with my loved ones, I go out and have fun, and I make new friends. These are all things I never use to do! But it seems like now more than ever, I simply don’t think that who I AM is being received. I feel like I may give off an impression of myself that doesn’t match how I actually view myself. I don't know if I carry myself in a different way than I used to, or if I seem intimidating? I seem to be losing some unknown quality that used to satisfy people (generally speaking). What do I do?
I have had multiple people tell me that I come across as a party girl, I seem like I may be mean, I have been accused by a guy I genuinely liked of being “toxic” because (with no reason to warrant this) he thought I was the type to cheat (even though I have never cheated and know how painful it is to be cheated on), been told my a friend that I don’t care about her because I don’t reach out (even though i have screenshots of me reaching out constantly without a response from her). A few exampls