Girls, I need to get this off my chest because why should I keep avoiding it?

Question

I don't get why I am still single and why other guys are succeeding. Guys i've known since high school or university I know how they talk in the guys change room and they are often negative or only care about having sex with different girls. For me, it was never some infatuation to have sex with different girls. I always wondered, is it me? Does my breath smell? Am I wearing the right clothes? Should I change the way I conduct myself? Should I be more confident? Should I be more sympathetic? Should I give her more space? I even asked my older sisters what should I change about myself? And I changed all that but still nothing.

Girls even on GAG will say, "we don't care about looks, he doesn't seem muscular enough, we don't care about height, we don't care about his education" and yet I have dealt with negative or even racist girls throughout the years. Guy's have said "bro you're strong". Some girls have said "you are short", meanwhile I am 5'9 and can dunk on a basketball rim in the gym. A girl I really liked said "you aren't even done university like 7 years ago" fast forward today and I have an honours in political science, a masters in public policy and completing my law degree. I have dealt with racist girls because of my religion, yet, I don't say rude things about Christianity or Buddhism or Judaism because I have been taught God does not like people who insult other religions like that. Girls seem like I am not physically attractive, yet my sisters friends (who are now in their mid 40s) say, "your brother is a good looking or handsome guy".

I don't f-ing get it, and I know I am not perfect but let me also add, I cook good food, I try to be caring, I try to be funny and etc. But girls are just rude or negative to me, even today in a terrible economy girls will be asking me for money. How come the guy has to always be the one to change himself, how come girls don't look in the mirror and say "maybe it's her as well?". I don't get it

Updates:

1 mo

The thing is, now guys are categorized into stupid areas "desperate" or "simp". Please, i'm sorry girls, but I know how some guys openly talk in the guys change rooms where they may seem so confident and cool but really they are not. Please don't say "maybe you are looking for girls in the wrong spot"... Um, I don't go to bars or annoying spots where girls love to party and etc... I actually avoid girls like that. I know this post will probably garner more hate, negativity or maybe no replies.

Answer 1

Vicky_7402

Xper 4

Perhaps its the way you carry yourself? Do you introduce yourself to women? Do you put yourself in a position to meet women and begin conversation? I think overall you just need to put yourself out there, look nice and be yourself and a girl who you share chemistry with will come eventually

Asker

1 mo
I would but that's the thing I do admit I am a little insecure because I'm thinking "well I can't look like Brad Pitt from the 90s" or have that chiseled body. I am in shape and I think I am decent looking. I see it on IG all the time you can correct me if im wrong but girls seem to LOVE tall guys who are hot and in shape with a 6 pack. Maybe thats the fault of men/guys trying to make women "more sexy, be more sexy, more sexy". So maybe subconsciously women/girls said fuck it, if guys/men are going to treat us like that we will treat them with the same standard". I know a girl who has followed me on IG for over a year and she posted something making fun of guys who are 5'8. I told her, do you think it's nice to make fun of guys like that? I told her I wouldn't like it if women or girls were mocked at the same way... Then she blocked me. Both guys and girls have to start caring about the other gender and respecting each other.
Asker

1 mo
I think I am approachable, strangers come up to me and ask me for directions or other stuff.
Vicky_7402

1 mo
You cannot compare yourself to people on instagram. I myself follow guys who look the way you explain, and sure they’re fun to look at but they’re more of a fantasy than an actual standard. Its like comparing the average girl and pamela Andersen in her prime. I agree with you that jokes like that are disheartening, but it happens on both sides of the coin. I’ll use my relationship as an example:

Normally my type is like cole sprouse and tom holland, yknow the type. However my boyfriend is fairly skinny man with hair longer than mine who dresses in victorian clothing. When the person is right for you, appearance dont matter, and as long as you learn how to put yourself forward, be confident and talk to women, you’ll find someone
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Vicky_7402

1 mo
You can’t just be approachable, you much also be conversational. Carry a conversation, make it interesting, find common ground. Build a friendship and comradely and work from there, thats how all my boyfriends got me
Asker

1 mo
I am fairly talkative, I have talked to girls on the phone and they say "you're interesting" or "you have a nice voice", some guys I know have said "dude you have a radio voice"... I don't think my voice is that great tbh.

Answer 2

Asker

I would but that's the thing I do admit I am a little insecure because I'm thinking "well I can't look like Brad Pitt from the 90s" or have that chiseled body. I am in shape and I think I am decent looking. I see it on IG all the time you can correct me if im wrong but girls seem to LOVE tall guys who are hot and in shape with a 6 pack. Maybe thats the fault of men/guys trying to make women "more sexy, be more sexy, more sexy". So maybe subconsciously women/girls said fuck it, if guys/men are going to treat us like that we will treat them with the same standard". I know a girl who has followed me on IG for over a year and she posted something making fun of guys who are 5'8. I told her, do you think it's nice to make fun of guys like that? I told her I wouldn't like it if women or girls were mocked at the same way... Then she blocked me. Both guys and girls have to start caring about the other gender and respecting each other.

Answer 3

Asker

I think I am approachable, strangers come up to me and ask me for directions or other stuff.

Answer 4

Vicky_7402

You cannot compare yourself to people on instagram. I myself follow guys who look the way you explain, and sure they’re fun to look at but they’re more of a fantasy than an actual standard. Its like comparing the average girl and pamela Andersen in her prime. I agree with you that jokes like that are disheartening, but it happens on both sides of the coin. I’ll use my relationship as an example:

Normally my type is like cole sprouse and tom holland, yknow the type. However my boyfriend is fairly skinny man with hair longer than mine who dresses in victorian clothing. When the person is right for you, appearance dont matter, and as long as you learn how to put yourself forward, be confident and talk to women, you’ll find someone

Answer 5

Vicky_7402

You can’t just be approachable, you much also be conversational. Carry a conversation, make it interesting, find common ground. Build a friendship and comradely and work from there, thats how all my boyfriends got me

Answer 6

Asker

I am fairly talkative, I have talked to girls on the phone and they say "you're interesting" or "you have a nice voice", some guys I know have said "dude you have a radio voice"... I don't think my voice is that great tbh.

Girls, I need to get this off my chest because why should I keep avoiding it?

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