If my girl tells me that she is upset but doesn’t say why I made her upset, what’s the best way to react?

[Stellaluna84]

I wouldn’t push the subject too much, but if she hasn’t told you why, then it makes me think that she expects that you should know what she’s upset about.

[FocusOfSuspicion]

Did she say it’s your fault? Maybe it isn’t.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

I'd say let her cool down - giving your girl space to process her emotions isn't "doing nothing", it's respecting her need to process.

Then, when she's calmer, gently have a conversation about how you want to be able to help and learn what you've done wrong (if anything) - but you need her help to understand. Maybe she's got a reason to lie about being upset - maybe she doesn't even know, or she's worried telling you will drive you away.

You're not a mind-reader, and she shouldn't expect you to be. But she might just need reminding of that.

[babysteph]

i think he should do their best to communicate and be what she needs in the moment. Sometimes it can be a big step for people to even tell others that they feel hurt and communicating why they feel hurt can be really hard.

Being vulnerable with anyone can be hard but when the trust is weakened because someone has been hurt, it makes communication harder. I’d just try to understand that and try to be as empathetic as possible. oh and I’d try not to take it too personally.

Hope that helped 💓

[JSmuve]

She's probably just testing you to see "how much you care" about her. If she withholds why she's mad and if you truly care about her then you'll feel like shit for as long as she wants you too and will try to make it up to her. This does two things. It shows her that you care about her and it gives her power over you, both of which makes her feel good. If she doesn't tell you why you're mad and you just shrug it off, then you don't give her any power and she gets more mad at you and dresses it up by saying you "don't care about her" by not playing her little game and giving in. It's really a no-win situation for you that immature girls do to test a guy.

Just acknowledge that she's upset and you're open to listening when she's ready to talk about it, ask her if there's anything you can do to make it better, and then leave it at that. It shows you care enough about her to consider her feelings but that you're not bending over backwards for her.

[ShadezMcgee]

Keep pressing the issue in a fun way to get her to lower her guard and tell you why. When she asks if you are sure you want to know, tell her yes and just listen. Don't try to solve her problem, just listen and reiterate the key points of what she said. If you do this right, she should be smiling, hugging you and telling you she feels better at the end.

[Anonymous]

This is a control tactic. Under no circumstances should you allow it to work the way she wants it to. I'd tell her that I'm here and willing to listen when she wants to talk, and then carry on with my day. I'm not about to let her make me miserable. If I got the "guessing game" act for more than a day, I'd tell her this isn't gonna work if she can't communicate properly. And if that doesn't get her talking, it's goodbye.

Life's too damn short and fucked up to let someone else waste my time and fuck it up worse. I'm better off on my own than constantly trying to guess what I did "wrong" this time. Speak up or step out, sweetheart, there are others waiting in line

[Mellifluous_]

I'd explain to her that I need her to tell me exactly what it was that I did that made her upset, because I'm unaware, and therefore can't make sure it doesn't happen again unless I know exactly what it was that upset her. I wouldn't want to see her upset, but if she still doesn't tell me what I did after I explain the importance of it, then I'm not going to waste my time and feel bad.🤚

[flamiE]

Communicate. Literally tell her that you can’t think of the reason she’s upset and perhaps she wants some time to process her thoughts and the emotions triggered by whatever you said/did. And tell her that you’re there whenever she’s ready to talk it out, just make sure it comes from the heart.

[Puppystarfish23]

Tell het your not a mind reader and if she wants you to be sorry and fix it she's gotta be upfront and honest with you straight away or nothing will change. Playing the guessing game with guys is so immature, let just get to the point with you and move on from it or else she's plain silly and needs to grow up.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Simple you act like your extra happy seeing that she would be furious and babble out what's bothering her trust me this works when they find that they are not getting the response they talk be like it's a new day donot engage in a fight just give her hug a kiss and move on with your work and look amazingly happy

[TessCasie]

Try your best to get a girl who won't give you silent treatments. You'll suffer you're entire life. Get someone with whom you can communicate. Otherwise just leave it ! Dont listen to crap such as " if you loved me and we had chemistry you would understand why I am upset". Just don't fall for these words.

[Luvme66]

When this used to happen to me... I used to know what exactly I did wrong but I would remain in complete denial... But the more your enquire the more heated shit becomes and she is gonna let you know in a rude way... But thats when you can resolve the situation by not doing something like that again (if its valid) so yeah

[nanablue]

Act sweet and keep Bieng patient when she trow tantrum slowly don't talk or mantion anything that make you guys fight, so slowly she Will forgive you.

[Dreamy2020]

Is she upset with you? Maybe she doesn't want to talk about it. If she needs an apology from you, then she needs to tell you what it is that is bothering her. You are not a mindreader.

[SandandWaves]

If he has no clue why, I think he should say, how come? in a calm way. Sometimes we think we are upset at our guy, when really, it wasn't him that we were upset with, it was a misunderstanding.

[VanillaSalt]

Say good luck with that and go back to what you were doing... communications important and she’s not doing it right lol

[Alyssa11]

Hmmm, probably explain you’re willing to listen to whatever it is that’s making her upset, then apologise and change whatever it is.

[pleasestopthis]

If I need time to cool down I tell him I'm too angry to talk at all and I'll reach out to him. If I'm able to talk I want him to talk about the issue so we can fix it.

[Laozi]

It doesn't matter whether you know the reason or not. Just apologize. Talk to her with patience and kindly. And it'll make her calm. But don't overdo it or she'll take you lightly.

[slatyb]

I won't play those games. If she insists on pouting but won't use her words I'm out.

[Sparda20xx]

Tell her to be an adult and speak up. You're not a mind reader. If she wants to be upset but not say why, then let her be upset