Do I seem unstable?

[Anonymous]

I have PTSD, panic attacks, anxiety, flashback and triggers. 2 years ago I was assaulted. In my childhood I was molested and raped more than once. I didn’t know it was wrong at the time. I kept on thinking why are all these things happening to me and then I knew why, it’s because I’m a girl. I can’t feel safe walking on the streets men are harassing me I feel afraid sometimes I might not reach home. Just like everyone I have dreams too, but I let all these abuse that happened to me belittle my value. I let myself believe I’m not smart enough to go to college, I’m not beautiful for nice clothing, I’m not fit for a better job and I let my self esteem go down so low that I don’t believe in myself anymore because of what people did to me I don’t have any other value other than to satisfy men even I don’t want to it’s the only thing I feel like I have value for. Because of this belief I fail in high school I work a low job which is very hard and I barely eat. Everyone betrayed me. I have no one. There’s no place for me. I just want to disappear but you know what I have another dream, I want to marry someone who will protect me. I have no one to protect me everyone blames me for my abuse saying I shouldn’t have went there. But I tried to fight him off but I couldn’t, he pinned me down and his hands were so big and he was so much stronger his body was on top of me I kept on saying no so many times it didn’t mean anything to him I was alone, powerless praying for it to be over. It was over but now I’m suffering and I’m trying to find ways to heal but I can’t 😭, my life is over, he damaged me. Everyone betrayed me I don’t have anyone I’m all alone. He ruined and destroyed plenty of my dreams and hope. Will anyone want to marry me? Can I live by myself? Or am I too unstable for my of that? Please be honest it’s okay ❤️

Yes

Vote A

No

Vote B

Updates:

[Leavesbound]

As a child I was sexually assaulted by multiple adults of both genders and older children. At ten I was raped by 2 Roman Catholic priests and at 11 a third one. At 12 my English teacher forced me into a sexual relationship for about two years.

I am now 61 years old. I have never been married. I have never had a romantic relationship that lasted more than 3 years. My 2nd longest relationship lasted 5 months. I can count on one hand the number of women I have had sex with. After graduating high school it was 20 years before I had sex again. I have one living relative and I have not seen him in over ten years though we occasionally exchange emails. In 40 years I have had exactly one friend and they betrayed me 11 years ago and I have not heard from them since. I live alone. It's been 7 years since I have had someone hug me. It's been 17 years since anyone kissed me. It's been almost 20 years since I've had sex. I have anxiety issues. I have been obese most of the last 40 years.

Don't be me. Please don't turn into me. Please find someone to help you through this. Please find happiness. Please don't give up. I'm not a good example to follow.

[andy530]

Yes you can but I would recommend talking to a therapist to help

[Agape93]

Nope. My girls unstable, you’re just mentally harmed which is normal