Am I a bad guy ? I mess up my life? how do you get a girl to forgive you?

Anonymous
hi so I sleep with an escort to have a first time and that was ok. I hated it but it was ok I feel bad. also the last time we did it was new years 2021 but I did not pay her and she got mad and kick me out. I came back and gave her 400 and she was ok for a bit. But they I try to tell her why I did it and to tell her sorry agin and she wanted more money for forgiveness which I did not give. now we are not friends on FB and I think she just using me for money but I don't know what else to do to make her forgive me? I feel bad. second girl that I push away. maybe I am a bad guy I don't know? I do not know if I should ever be with another girl. I feel like I may go to hell but I don't know. maybe god will forgive me. why do girls not forgive me? what about the next girl what about the past? me her get along good at least we did but not now. maybe I should forget this whole thing I don't know someone help? I try telling her mom sorry.
Am I a bad guy ? I mess up my life? how do you get a girl to forgive you?
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