How long do you have to get to know a girl before asking her out?

People tell me that you need to get to know her and be her friend first. Girls tell me this.

But then other people tell me that you can't wait too long, otherwise you stay in the friend zone.

So who's right and wrong here? How long?

I like this girl from work. I think she likes me as a person - we don't know each other too well to be friends yet. I have asked her to hang out a few times - but never actually ASKED HER OUT. She comes out for group stuff, but not 1 on 1.

Anyway, she has a boyfriend now. I think I will just keep getting to know her and see if there is a spark - but still socializing with others. What do you think?
a spark sometime in the future


Most Helpful Girl

  • It really depends on the girl, but it's better not to wait too long. If you ask too soon, you can always continue talking to her until she feels more comfortable. But if you wait too long, you could be friendzoned for good.

    I like to talk with a guy via texting/phone for about a week before being asked on a date. If they ask sooner, I still drag out the week before I will accept as I don't feel comfortable going on a date with a total stranger. What you ask her to do is also a big part as well. If you're asking her to dinner, it's usually safer and she won't feel as scared to accept. If you're just asking her to come to your place to watch a movie, she's going to think you want a hookup and may be more reluctant if its too soon.

    • Thanks. I have updated this question to let people know my situation. What do you think?

    • I think if she has a boyfriend this question is irrelevant. Don't be that guy.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • I totally agree with the other person who has commented. A guy who gives up easily is one who just wants one thing so therefore he will go get it off someone else. I think it should be when you feel the spark with that person. Its not all about timing. Some people wait too long and then the excitement wears off. Go for it if you like her.

  • as soon as you establish that connection. that could take a minute or a year


What Guys Said 3

  • Not sure about the whole boyfriend thing but with any other girl who is single I like this.

    1. Meet her, talk to her.

    2. Get her number

    3. Text her after a couple days

    4. about a week later or so call and ask her out.

    Seems to work best. If she's interested in you then every other type of communication, including more dates will fall into place naturally.

    As for the having a boyfriend situation, I've been there and it sucks. Keep in touch, but don't talk about her boyfriend at all. That will lead right to the friend zone. Go after her more aggressively after they stop seeing each other.

  • They don't need to be best friends. They should at least have more than name and face recognition.

  • thats also been the biggest difficult thing for me, is knowing when