Ive been running into this girl for the past few weeks now, she is a friend of my friends. We got on great but our friends are trying to push us together which is making us both a little uncomfortable. We decided to go out last week just the 2 of us. We clicked immediately but she seems to be a little hesitant with me. I understand a bit about body language and how to tell if a girl is interested. The signs were there. But as I went to kiss her she told me she was not that type of girl? She says she wants to take things slow but that she also does not want anything serious in the near future? The mixed signals are frustrating. She says that she always rushes into things and messes them up. Her long term boyfriend broke up with her last year and she told me they won't be getting back together. I confronted her about all of this. She told me there's definitely something between us but she's not sure what she wants yet. She said we can go date but she can't promise it will develop into anything I then said I didn't want to be wasting my time (im afraid she took this literally at first. I meant it as wanting to know her stand on the situation as in should we bother).
After we had this conversation she seemed in a better mood I'm wondering about my actions here because I'm not looking for a new friend. As the clash say: should I stay or should I go?
I forgot to mention that I told her clearly that I held no expectations and was not looking for anything serious either. But would like to get to know her more(its been only 3 weeks--crazy)and see where it goes but her words and tone didn't fill me with confidence in this prospect. Another problem seems to be our friends who want us to get down and dirty right now but I think both of us want to take it easy but she feels pressured and its scaring her away. Damn that was long
After we had this conversation she seemed in a better mood I'm wondering about my actions here because I'm not looking for a new friend. As the clash say: should I stay or should I go?
I forgot to mention that I told her clearly that I held no expectations and was not looking for anything serious either. But would like to get to know her more(its been only 3 weeks--crazy)and see where it goes but her words and tone didn't fill me with confidence in this prospect. Another problem seems to be our friends who want us to get down and dirty right now but I think both of us want to take it easy but she feels pressured and its scaring her away. Damn that was long
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What Girls & Guys Said
21You already told her, you had no expectations - so my advice would be to stick around and have no expectations.
It sounds like she's been through a tough time, and isn't ready - obviously. So be a friend and hang in there as a friend, doesn't mean you can't go out with other women. Get to know her, go out and laugh and just have a great time. If you're tired and really want to know, ask her. She doesn't seem like she's hiding anything, sounds like she's pretty honest as well. Take her to a movie, then go have coffee after, and laugh a little. Then let her know how you feel about her and ask her if she has considered it at all.
From the sound of things, your friends might be the reason she's pulling away, she might be thinking that's all you want from her. So assure her that there's more to you than what's been associated to you by your friends. Keep it simple, and you might be surprised.
I would say to slow down and not rush into anything. Forget about your friends, because it's not their hearts at stake. When you told her that you're not looking for anything serious, she could take it as a good thing or bad thing. You're telling her that you're just looking for a good time, not looking for a serious girlfriend. Now this could be a good thing if she's not looking for a boyfriend, but just someone to hang out with and go to movies, etc as friends. Or she could take it negatively if she's looking for something serious, and she thinks you're just looking for someone to play with. So if she is looking for something serious, and you're not, then she's not the one for you, because her heart will get broken. But I would definitely cool things off, just hang out with her and enjoy her friendship. But she is guarding her heart very well, so I would imagine she is looking for something serious but wants to make sure that the person she is with, is right for her.
I would say just take it slow right now. Maybe she is still trying to let herself heal and taking time for herself right now. I am going through something very similar. I just went through a really hard breakup and I met someone but I am still really unsure of what I want so I am taking it slow. Just be friends right now and see where it goes but don't have too many expectations right now. If it's meant to be it will happen, no sense in rushing anything.