I never get approached by guys I want to... who to get to know someone normal?

i've been single for ages now...
the problem is that i rarely get approached by guys that i am interested into...
I must say that i am very picky.. have become picky, because of bad experiences...

the guys that aproach me are either too young for me, drunk, idiots or not my type.

The "normal" guys who seem nice and speak nicely with a girl never approach me. It's usually guys who try to pick me up and get upset when I don't act on their silly approaches..

I've been single for a while now, but I wonder if I am ever going to meet someone normal...

I am not ugly, and I get many compliments, even from a lot of girls.

How can I meet someoen? I am not very keen on internet dating to be honest.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If they are too young you are probably frequenting places that cater to a younger crowd, try different places that have more people age appropriate. Also, if you really like a guy and he isn't approaching you, go up to him and talk to him. If you are super uncomfortable asking a guy out then don't, just go up and talk like you are bored and need someone interesting to talk to, no pressure. After striking up a conversation most guys will typically make a move on you or move on.

    Although, if he is really shy you may need to consider making the first move and actually asking him out/for his number if you want anything to happen.

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    • Not necessarily. I don't frequent young places... I just look younger than I am... so I get the same issue... People keep telling me... One day you will love it... Well..
      not yet!

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    • well I've been pretty unlucky I guess... :/ I wish I met guys who appreciated girls approaching them

    • We are out there, I mean you are talking to one right now! Typically its more of the shy guys who like it because we suck at approaching women. Try it on some of the shyer guys :)

      Also, I don't know what type of are you live in but more socially conservative areas, like the one I grew up in, tend to have that attitude.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I know the feeling, I get way more unwanted attention than wanted. And usually if I get a guy talking I am interested in I find out he has a gf or is married. I think I intimidate guys though, cause if I am not smiling or laughing they are scared I may be a bitch. Or if they think I am out of their league (cause I tend to go for average to cute guys, I almost stay clear of overly handsome/hot guys).

    Honestly, I have to spell it out for guys 'I like you... make a damn move' and then they say they know but had some cop out why they took so long or ended up having a gf/wife. So many taken guys lead me on till I hint about number exchange/getting together. I am almost scared to like a guy anymore, though I do have a crush ATM, but I only know where he works and it is not somewhere you can just show up or exchange numbers but cause I like him I suspect he has a gf, lol.

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    • I absolutely agree with you...
      you seem to be a nice girl and not a bitch at all!
      When I sometimes see girlfriends of some nice guys, I get complexes, because I just wonder, how such bitchy girls can get nice and friendly guys...

      I don't know if being nice pays off these days...

      Guys normally just stare at me and don't make a move. They might be shy or whatever, but i am shy too, so who is going to approach whom in this case :/

      I am in a similar situation. "know" someone, but I don't know him really. I d like to approach him somehow, but I fear that he might have a girlfriend or not be interested...

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    • Wow you are like the female version of me. Except I'm not ridiculously good looking. Meeting people with chemistry and findingout they aren't single. Ditto. Getting rejected at the phone number stage, Ditto. and yes, I have met the odd super hot girl like you that I KNOW likes me, but she is just too intimidating. Even if I were to say hello to you I would be so nervous that it would just bee too ackward.

    • @ranma187, well at least we know it goes both ways XP

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 14

  • Guys who seem nice, are sober, and not looking to pick a girl up rarely stride over to a stranger and strike up a conversation.

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    • that's discouraging...

  • It's because the "normal" guys that you speak of have realized that the majority of women are not girlfriend material, much less wife material; therefore, the odds of them putting forth the effort and it being worth it are slim to none.

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    • well are they becoming gay or what?

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    • me neither

    • I think this thread will give you a lot more answers.

      www.reddit.com/.../

  • I take it as you're bad yourself at approaching guys yet you expect them to be better than you are. Isn't it weird?

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    • not it's not! I like confident guys who approach girls.
      someone has to do it, and guys are the ones who've done it over the last decades...

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    • Thus some guys think that they've the right to "wait" for girls to come to them. And... Indeed they have?

      i dont like this at all, but some people dont have problems...

      i have tried it several times that way and it didn't turn out well. I've just tried it, because I failed to attract the appropriate guys in the traditional way (they approaching).

      kheserthorpe makes it clear how (many many) guys think and behave today...

      so what would be the solution for myself? lol

    • Well as said, be consistent with your choices.

      It is fine to believe that men should make the first move but the kind of guy you're interested in isn't the type of guy to do so nor the kind of guy interested in the kind of person you are.

      It's quite simple, are you Ok with yourself? if Yes, then don't change, you shouldn't need anyone and the right person who's both interesting and confident will show up and take you to the sky on his white horse (not kidding, it has decent chance to happen). If No, then try to match what you would like to be which I guess might be "someone so interesting that those persons would come to you".

      You can also try to improve your approach skills. Some coachs teach you how to do so without looking like an easy girl.

      In the end try to think logically, you can't expect a prince to take you if you're not a princess unless you're incredibly lucky and believe in fairy tails.

  • yeah I think thats part of being picky is having a hard time finding the right guy. do you do any of the approaching? or just wait for the guy? maybe venture into online dating. I recently have and having started talking to a couple different girls that seem really cool and would be interested in meeting. try talking with guys at places or activities you enjoy...

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  • if they aren't approaching you, maybe you should think about taking the lead?

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    • i tried it a few times, never worked well... :/ i am very bad at flirting and that stuff.

    • haha, join the club... im kind of in the same situation as you

  • i think some women standards are to high. It's best to look for the dream not the people in it. Plus i've been single for a while and it kills me at time but all this single business gives me time to think. i think you should use your time wisely. Be in a relationship because you want to not cause you're felling lonely or left out on the love train. But im jus a young guy so what do i know

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  • Just go about life. If it's not meant to happen it won't sort of nonsense.

    Either that or you're overly picky ;P

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    • lol
      but i want it to happen. dont wanna be alone the whole life

      well you are just 18, i am 25, thats a difference, have been alone since i am 20

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    • well, maybe alcohol would help lol

    • Only a bit ;P

  • If you have to be picky separate the "deal breakers" from "I can learn to live with thats" . The guy you want probably isn't in a bar looking to pick up chicks, try doing some new social activities that will get you involved in meeting new people. Take a class your are interested in etc. All about networking, friend of friends is also a good way

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  • Why don't you approach the men you want? So many girls are allowing themselves to be at the mercy of the men who approach them.

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  • maybe try approaching yourself. being passive won´t make anything happen.

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  • Too young? That is BS, I don't believe you unless you look really young.

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    • i look 3-4 years younger than i am

  • guys have become, "shy" so you need to go and approach them, more so since you are also picky

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  • Just go out to places that are packed with a bunch of people.

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  • 'd say "just bad luck"

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What Girls Said 3

  • Bare in mind ones that approach you are confident cus they usually players, guys you actually would go for are more shy or type of guys who is unsure he has a shot. So you may have to make moves or show obvious signs so they know you don't bite an that you reciprocate their feeling towards you. If you get what i mean. I have had same issue! :) an still douches approach nice ones think about the impression they make so much that they may not go for you.

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    • what should i do in that case? what are obvious signs? i am too shy myself...:S

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    • I did that when I was in Australia at the airport... a worker there passed several times and he always stared. I started smiling and it went back and forth for a few times.
      he finally said "hi", but that was it! I said "hi" too and he went away and I never saw him again.. :(

      I expected that he would say something more, but I got so disappointed

    • You should take a risk on a guy you like or you may not get a good guy. I know the feeling hun i am going throigh same thing

  • First good job at even getting someone to approach you.
    But just seem approachable. Try to look nice and put together. Also smile especially if you lock eyes with a guy you think is cute
    Finally why wait for him to come to you when you can go to him. Don't let the one slip away just because your too nervous to approach him. Be proud and just try to engage him in conversation

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    • I can't smile if he doesn't smile :P
      they just stare , but unless he doesn't smile I dont smile either, because I think he is staring because something is wrong with me or whatever...

    • Always smile.
      The problem is your waiting for everyone else to take initiative except for yourself. If you make eye contact with a stranger smile back. One because it's just nice. Two because it's inviting. Guys do most approaching (unfortunately) and the Lear you could do is give him a sign that you can be approached. Also a lot of guys don't smile excuse girls freak out and assume they're trying to be creepy.
      Just take one step and smile it doesn't hurt you and may open a lot of doors

  • only way to get a man to approach you is to make obvious eye contact with them. otherwise you'll never get the man you want

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