How can I keep my boyfriend from feeling inferior?

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. I recently got a good job and am now getting paid more than him and oddly enough, he is being slammed with financial burdens he has to clear up. Whenever we go out on dates now, I'm usually the one who pays for dinner, the movies or whatever it may be. I'm fine with this considering we've been together for a while now and before he was the one always paying. On the other hand, I don't want him to feel insecure or intimidated by this. I always tell him and show him how much I appreciate him but I feel like it's not enough. We've heard in the past that most times a man cheats is because he feels inferior in a relationship. How can I show him that he is still the man in the relationship and I don't think any less of him?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Have you talked with him about this? It may be that he's okay with it.

    My gf just got a great new job and is going to be making a heck of a lot more than me, and my finances aren't great, so I can relate. It's... it's kind of weird? I'm getting used to the idea, though. I'm certainly not feeling inferior in any way, tho! You might make sure you compliment him on a regular basis - on non-financial things. Like how awesome in bed he is. How safe you feel in his arms. How comfortable he makes your apartment feel (etc). How awesome he looks in this pair of sexy new underwear you just bought for him. How glad you are of his emotional support when you have a hard day.

    Practice complimenting ;) It's hard to brood on making less money when you're thinking about how awesome you are at something else.

    (for the record, he should practice complimenting you too - it's good for people to be reminded how awesome they are)

    For some guys they may be focused so much on making money that they feel inferior, but I think most guys will be okay if they feel awesome in other parts of their life. I wouldn't worry about him cheating quite yet.

    • Thanks for the reply!
      It's great to hear it coming from someone who is in the same situation as he is. He is amazing at other things, like keeping me very happy and I tell him that all the time. I make sure he knows that I'm here to help him through anything. So it's a relief to know that I'm doing the right thing. I can stop stressing so much! *Phew!* Thank you!

    • Glad to be able to reassure you :)

      I will point out that all guys are different, and you're dating him, not me. So if you're cuddling some time, you might tell him you were worried making more money that he'd feel inferior. If he says it's not a problem... believe him!

      But no, I don't think it's something you need to stress about; at most, a check-in-on thing ("Honey, I've been washing our shirts on warm, is that working for you?")

    • :D okay, that is something I'll definitely get in the habit of doing!

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