You are really attracted to a girl, she tells you she only wants to be friends. How do you react?

So guys if you met a girl you found very attractive and you asked her out and she said yes, but also told you she only wanted to be friends, how would you react?

This happened to me, but instead of stop talking to me or something like that he still wanted to take me out. Since he told me he respected that i only wanted to be friends i assumed that when he asked to grab a drink togheter he wanted to get to know me, as a friend. I went and i had a great time until he had one to many and put his hand around me, calling me pretty every 30 min and at one point he tried to kiss me. I mean if he didn't want to just be friends then he shouldn't be inviting me to hang out with him. And on top of that his cute friend thinks that we are dating... im considering adding him on Facebook, but i dont want to mess up a friendsship. Thoughts?

0|0
213

Most Helpful Guy

  • Thanks to that "hard to get game" and "the players" amongst society, we have to be men and chase anyways, else we might be shooting ourselves in the foot ahead of time.

    Luckily, you saw his true character when he tried to be too pushy. Cut this guy out of the picture and find someone with better class.

    In truth, i've insisted more than once with many women and it's led to some great memories for the both of us; this unfortunately is just a horribly experience.

    If he played his cards right, he could have used his confidence / humor / other characteristics to offset the lack of attraction. I see this a lot with men in my area dating some rather attractive females because the body builders are brain dead. ;)

    As for the last question regarding the friend, it won't deter him sadly. Guys like him aren't calibrated to giving up - they see loss time and time again and are quite accustomed to the misery; he'll probably feel offended and hear some shit advice from one of his buddies that he's gotta earn your attention; then he's gonna keep bugging you. Like i said, cut your losses with that guy and add the friend like you want to; if he keeps bothering you just call the cops on him. It's not your place to teach a man how to treat a lady, he's gotta learn it first hand like we all had to.

    Sounds like it would be a mighty awkward situation though if they are best friends; being at the same reunion together would just leave a static in the air; it's up to you to have the self-respect to not tune into the drama and just enjoy the evening while showing that you can still respect a human being even though he pushed against your boundaries. (e. g. dont start a scene because he shows up).

    My answer was kind of choppy because there's so many variables, if i wasn't clear on something feel free to ask :) Good luck

    1|0
    0|0
    • It might be a little choopy as you call it, but i get your point. Actually added the friend, so lets see how that goes! :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • He's posing as a friend and waiting around until one day you hook up with him. some types of guys will pretend to agree to the friend deal because they get to be around you. their strategy is diferent. they feel that hanging around you as a friend gives them a better chance at getting with you then just not being around you at all.

    I would NOT try to get with his friend. I just don't see it ending well for you. if he's a loyal friend, he won't do anything to hurt his friend. if he's a shady person he will try to hook up with you but more than likely won't date you because he will still sympathise with his friend but see you as a disloyal ho whos hurting his homeboy.

    0|0
    0|0
    • How on earth would i be a "disloyal ho" when we have never dated? I get your point but how am i being a bad person/ doing something bad for wanting his friend?

    • You're not, but some guys are irrational like that and would see you negatively in that way. for example, you rejecting his friend is hurting him... and turning around and trying to get with him even though they are friends could be seen as scandalous and negative. im just saying some guys may see you like that even though its not like ur going after your exes friend

    • Well i did add the friend and he took contact with me on Facebook, so now we are dating

Recommended Questions

Loading...

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 12

  • Here is the thing... When a guy sees you and instantly sees someone he finds attractive and wants to date and be with you as a girlfriend/lover, that's it, that is the level he wants, not a friend only level. It is near impossible for a guy to downgrade his feelings. He will pretty much always have a thing for you. We can be stupid and hang around because you want us to. You want to be friends only, but he still thinks there is chance of more. That is why awkward things happen like you described. For me it is just easier to say I am not interested in being just friends. In the terms of being bf/gf needs to be respected that you don't feel that way. To only be fair, you want to be friends only with the guy, but he doesn't feel that way. It would be hurtful to the guy to remain only friends with him. He doesn't like you in that way. Trying to be friends means you get what you want, but he doesn't. It is hurtful because he never gets to be with you the way he wants and feels about you. If it was me I would be honest with you saying I am not interested in being friends only, I am not interested in torturing myself being with you but can't have you. So no hard feelings, have a nice life, good bye.

    0|0
    0|1
    • That is how i expect him to feel hence he woulndt ask to hang out. I told him from day one i only wanted to be friends, but he choched to ignor what i said.. i dont contact him or lead him on i dont compliment him, i dont touch him, nothing.. but he still felt it was okay to touch me without even asking...

    • Show All
    • I guess i have to... but i want his friend... lol

    • Ha, I knew it! LOL, you're a bad girl :)

  • I'll tell her in the most gentle way that I find myself too attracted to her to be just her friend and if I needed one I'll get a second labrador.

    0|2
    0|0
    • That would be a good way to tell the girl. I dont get why he didn't just walk a way when i told him i wanted to be friends

    • @Asker, when one likes another, he/she will look for signs that validates his/her belief of the other is reciprocating interest. And, as a result, ignore or minimize signs that may say otherwise. In other words, by proposing a friendship with this guy and accepting his invite to hang, a guy who obviously wants what you have, you unintentionally gave him false hope.

  • Why do girls never get this... Guy almost never just ask a girl out for drinks and such as just friends, it is almost always because they like you. And he is likely hurt, I have been on the receiving end of this and it is not fun. I also would stay away from the friend, as the other one will be upset a lot, even though he has no right too, he will be.

    0|0
    0|0
  • We sort have to accept it but we feel shit afterwards

    0|1
    0|0
    • I know how it feels to have the guy you want not wanting you, so i know he must feel bad. But im not going to pretend to like him just so he doesn't feel bad. Im not attracted to him and i never will unless he bulkes up over night or something

  • Move on.

    Also, don't talk to or start dating his friend that you think is cute. Just don't. There's no reason to put two guy friends in that kind of situation. You'll meet other cute guys who won't have to potentially fight a friend over you.

    0|0
    0|0
    • So i shouldn't or "cant" even add him on Facebook?

    • Show All
    • I wouldn't, unless you want to be seen as a bromance/homewrecker. You can do whatever you want to. I have no idea how it will work out for you. I'm just saying based on what I know.

    • I found out that his friend actually like me back, so we are kinda datibg right now

  • I don't pursue her anymore.

    Depending on the situation, I may stay friends with her (and I mean real friendship, not lurking in her vicinity hoping she changes her mind).

    0|0
    0|0
    • Why can't he just be more like you? Haha he's just waisting his time

  • I would move on. A lot of guys will still try to pursue you under a veil of friendship or as legitimate friends.

    0|0
    0|0
  • i will accept her offer as friend and make her realize how sweet i am and make her move to the next stage as LOVE.

    0|0
    0|2
    • Won't work... failed tactic.

    • maybe for some girls , but still i thing its the only hope to get the girl.

    • ... The point is that you're supposed to give up if she says no, not keep trying to come up with more complicated ways to get with her...

  • I distance myself from her. Move on. Cuz being in the frfriendzone is the woest thing in the world.

    0|1
    0|0
  • i0.kym-cdn.com/.../1879f18e_e542_e1c6.jpg
    That's how my face would react
    s3.amazonaws.com/.../...llpaper-1920x1080-4653.jpg
    What my mind is thinking and how I'd feel.

    0|0
    0|0
  • ok let's be friends no prob

    0|0
    0|0
    • and you woundt try to "change her mind" or anything? and you woulndt take it as a challenge?

  • It's ok by me... I got used to it :(((

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 1

  • So you are kissing friends? I guess...

    0|0
    0|0
    • i dont know what kind of friends he has, but i know for sure i dont try to kiss my guy friends lol

    • Show All
    • He has actually tried to kiss me twice, but i turned my head both times. And its nothing there, no attraction.. i mean he has skinnier thighs then i do and since i work out a lot i actually do expect/want the guy im dating to do the same. you're right i really should tell him when he crosess the line, the reason i didn't tell him to back off was because we had to take the same bus home and im pretty new in town so i didn't know where the busstop was lol

    • Okay lol... well maybe he is just really friendly haha... some guys are like that where they give hugs and kisses when they see you but I guess this was different... haha!

Recommended myTakes

Loading...