Why are men turned off by a woman who is a feminist or has feminist views?

Many men I have met are always turned off when the topic on feminism is broughy off. I see their faces contort in a grimace at the very word "feminist" And when I am pursuing a male romantically, where I casually bring up the fact that I have feminist views, he will reply and say; "Youre not a feminist, are you? Please tell me you're not. If so, that is a huge turn off!"

Men of GAG... care to share your opinions? :)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • A woman calling herself a "feminist" is like a male calling himself an "alpha".
    It's not necessarily bad in of itself, but only a certain type of person feels the need to create a reason to tell they're a feminist or an alpha. And usually if they feel the need to mention it, they aren't someone you want to spend any considerable amount of time with.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I identify as feminist. I told my boyfriend that those were my views and I asked him if he had any questions or concerns with that. I took the time to answer his questions. One of them was, "so does that mean you'll take me out on dates too and like, pay and stuff?" :p Answer: Yes! Like all the time.

    He's in a feminism class right now and has informed me that he is apparently now the feminist and I am now the patriarchy. Lol

    Suffice to say he's cool with the whole feminist thing. But I advocate for equality and a partnership and I think he sees and appreciates that.

    I will say that it takes a special kind of guy to appreciate that type of characteristic in a partner.

    With the stereotype of the feminazi I don't blame men of being wary.

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    • Awesome :DIm glad you have such an understanding partner who truly understands feminism! :)

    • Yeah, he's a pretty cool guy. :) And by that, of course, I mean he's absolutely incredible haha

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 24

  • Because they are the whiniest and bitchiest and they always bitch about how women and men are not equal and blah blah blah. When in reality, it's all equal.

    or they bitch about how men should do more things for women, when they just said that men and women are equal, so why do men need to do extra shit for women?

    like a woman who just got the job instead of this guy because she was hotter, and now woman expect that guy to like give up his seat on a bus or something?
    yeah, bull shit

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    • You seem very angry and upset about feminist and feminism in general. Have gou had a bad and personal experience with women or a woman who is a feminist?

    • Show All
    • @Baby_Halo

      Okaaaaay. I guess all your worldly experience has taught you this. I guess I was wrong. Thanks for enlightening me. *rolls eyes*

    • @ironeddie,

      lol what were you trying to ask then?

  • It's not feminism that's a turn off, it's what usually goes along with it. Many feminists don't only pursue women's rights, they hate men and think all guys are unfair idiots. When you bring up feminism, he thinks you are calling him an unfair idiot

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    • Not always true! I believe both men and women should be treated with respect and dignity. I dont believe in gender roles. Such as men paying for everything. I feel as though many things should be equal between a man and a woman :) I dont see men as idiots! I see them as humans who are just the same as women. I just feel as though there are still many things in todays society that is unequal and women dont appropriate rights for.

    • I believe you, but many feminists are very anti-men. Those kinda of girls make some men not like the cause. I personally would be all for it, the only thing making not all to happy with women is I have held doors open for hundreds of women and they never hold them for me. I've had women speed up and slip around a closing door just so that I'd have to open it again

  • cause feminism load of horseshit. if you believe in equal rights, you'll just call it equal rights, not feminism. feminists are only concerned with the rights of women at the expense of everyone else, or passing off privileges, favoritism and selective prosecution as an equal rights battle when in reality it simply preys and profits upon the fears and insecurities of women, glorifies the demonification and institutionalized persecution of men, and distorts the course of justice and due process so bigoted feminists can project their daddy issues on mankind and sell self help books. Why wouldn't we be repulsed by a philosophy that stigmatizes the very thing we are? I find it unbelievably hypocritical that feminists would create an imaginary enemy called the patriarchy which in reality does not exist, has no structure or leader or chapters, who's sole interest is the benefit and nepotism of their own gender at the expense of another, and in pursuit of fighting this imaginary enemy, create an organization which represents the very thing they pretend to oppose. and their constant exploitation of serious issues like rape and domestic violence, as well as the constant obscuring of facts and information, only adds insult to injury and detracts from the credibility of REAL victims, not just those playing victim for personal gain.

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  • Women are meant to submit to men. But men and women are equal. However, there are gender roles that feminism wants to ignore such as men need to value decisiveness while women focus on beauty etc etc. But doing do is unnatural and unrealistic.

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    • lol at the downvotes. Women want to submit to men. They do it all the time. It shows that too many females on GAG just don't know what they want and are confused with themselves.

    • Ummm... No.

  • I don't mind feminism at all unless she is one of those, "I AM WOMAN. I AM STRONK!" type of feminist. Or the one that thinks I automatically support domestic violence and wage gaps becuase I was born with a Y chromosome. I'm probably one of the few men that actually knows a thing or two about feminism and it's 3 waves, Seneca Falls, Susan B. Anthony, John Staurt Mill, Abigail Adams, etc. I can tolerate you views of you can tolerate my desire to not get in deep discussions about it.

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    • yes, first wave was the suffragettes. they're ok by my book. but feminists went from fighting for the right to vote, to just plain fighting. its like, the battles already won. you can shut up now. -_-

  • The point is that feminism is obsolete in any more or less civilized country. I can bet that those women who started this movement almost a century ago would spin in their graves if they would see into what it turned out to be now.

    For last few decades it was mainly used as a political tool to achieve one's goal through the means of bitching, bashing and deception.

    So when I see a girl who states she's a feminist, I instantly kinda think of this image:
    https://i.imgur.com/Yibg3xO.jpg?1

    You think I need that kind of person in my life?

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    • Just for clarification, I would like to state that I consider myself an egalitarian. I agree that for the most part, woman have the same rights and opportunities as men in regards to school studies, activities, and careers. However I do think that there is still some leftover connotations on a woman's role in society and how a woman should act and behave which can be frustrating. For example, my husband gets upset because I don't like to shop for laundry machines and other household appliances. He also wishes I enjoyed shopping for clothes and painting my nails and did my hair in a different style every day. Even though we both work full time (and I work longer hours with no sitting and no breaks), he still expects me to do all the cooking, cleaning and child-rearing because I am a woman. I don't mind doing those things, I just want us to work together to get things done.

    • Also, I don't blame my husband for the way he thinks, I believe it was just the way he was raised and that those old-fashioned expectations will still be lingering for a little while.

  • Who attacks men simply because of reasons like they have balls and things out of control

    Feminist do, the word sounds like Latin for man hate

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  • feminism has kind-of been given a bad name. For some guys, it doesn't seem unreasonable to assume that a feminist will:
    1) decide all sexual acts were rape, after the fact.
    2) assume full control over the relationship
    3) go 'off the rails' at any critisisms, particularly about her appearance, even if the critisism was requested.

    In short, guys may assume that dating a femminist is more stress than dating really needs to be. Most guys assume equality to be perfectly reasonable - but superiority is the opposite of that, and it includes when females assume the superior role.

    Of course, this is mostly due to guys only really being exposed to the 'extreme' feminists in the media. This is the problem with a lot of things, actually.

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  • I'm all for equality don't get me wrong. But It just irritating to hear the feminist same crap again And again a million times.

    Shut up!! We get it.

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  • Because feminism isn't feminism anymore. Females already have equal rights as men in America, so feminism isn't necessary anymore. The only people who are still feminists are radical feminists who believe that they are better than men, or hate men, or stereotype men as being lazy, jerks, stupid etc. Feminism used to be about equality, but now its about women ruling America, using their gender to get away with things in society (for example assaulting a male, but prosecuting him when he defends himself), hell some radical feminists believe in exterminating the male population except for the use of reproduction. Feminism used to be a noble cause that I, myself even supported, but modern feminists, and what they turned feminism into disgust me.

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  • Lol, every opinion against feminism has like 3-4 down votes from anger feminists. went down the opinions clicking down vote feeling proud to be a woman LOL. nice. Be proud to be human and alive.

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  • i don't get turned off by them.

    i support gender equality as well after-all

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  • It's not the views that feminists have but in the way that they present them.

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  • Feminists try to encourage women to remain fat.
    They hate men and created this boogeyman called "The patriarchy."
    They are self-victimizing while under the guise of 'empowering women.'
    Feminists infiltrate news agencies and promote their propaganda while also affecting national laws based on false information (ie gender wage gap that honestly doesn't exists.)
    All their counter-arguments are childish, such as calling someone a "rape apologists" or "misogynist" while ignoring the faults of their own stances.
    They turn issues that never once had anything to do with gender whatsoever into an issue about female oppression (ie: Gamer Gate originally being about journalist integrity in the video game industry.)

    In all, feminists bring forth a slew of nonsensical drama only they themselves can come up with as an excuse to blame external entities instead of taking personal power to improve upon themselves.

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  • I don't support feminism at this point in time I think it's bullshit I don't understand why everyone being oppressed doesn't come together. But if you want to be equal why not fight for egalitarianism and not feminism women aren't the only ones being put down in society but so yeah it might depend. I love an ambitious woman an independent strong woman but if all she wants to talk about is feminism not seeing wrong for everyone well i don't like that she's just gonna have to be with someone else that can put up with that

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  • Feminists suck is why.

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  • Only insecure old-fashioned men are like that.

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  • Because most men have been conditioned by the patriarchy to be worthless, entitled little pieces of garbage far too high on male privilege to care about womyn... thus that they do not like womyn who challenge the misogynistic status quo. These men are the quantity, however, and not the quality; they are the chaff needing to be sorted out from the wheat. You'll find your wheat eventually, and they will love your feminist ideals.
    Though if you are bisexual I would recommend dating womyn exclusively. I mean, sure it's possible to find a quality male... but womyn are so much better anyway.

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  • Feminism IS an ugly word to many men because of some of the vile evil rotten creatures that are self-proclaimed feminists. I also think the movement is tainted and no longer necessary because of other movements like Egalitarianism.

    This is how many men think but are uncomfortable saying because of our feminized culture which berates them for disagreeing with it. MANY more men than you might think will avoid you for being feminist than you're probably aware but won't openly say it necessarily out of fear.

    After all, why do you think I'm anonymous? And dont kid yourself. I don't hate women. I'm around them all the time and many/most of them tend to be pretty fond of me, romantically and otherwise.

    If I were you I would say you believe in everyone having the same chances (or something similar) and watch his face light up and begin to pursue you. If you fail to take this advice and MANY men avoid you then you have only yourself to blame. Not men.

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  • Feminism doesn't really take into account the natural differences between the genders. Im all for equality in terms of treatment and rights but men and women are fundamentally different and should be treated as such. We think different we are built different and we are good at different things. Even the things we place importance on are different. Feminism prettyh much condemns natural male behavior and thats why some guys cringe when you utter that word. How about you become an EQUALIST?

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What Girls Said 6

  • Maybe they don't like being bitched at every five minutes on how women are not treated equal. I don't know, I hear the word feminism and I run the other direction, avoid that subject like the plague lol. Everybody's got it rough, life's a bitch, then you die. That is all.

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  • Like every other large group of people, feminists are misrepresented by a handful of violent radicals, AKA "Femnazis". You say feminist and we think of a psychotic, man-hating, bitter old hag with nothing else to do in her life other than preach fake statistics in an attempt to suppress males.

    That's why it's much better to identify as an equalist or nothing at all concerning the issue.

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    • "That's why it's much better to identify as an equalist"

      I like your style, kid.

  • Not a fan of this feminist stuff, but damn I didn't think the guys would bag it out so much O. o

    Also, I don't see why any woman or man would want to be 'against' feminism. Feminism is what allowed us women to be in the workforce today, so it did do something positive if you call it that. However, it got a bit fucked up after that.

    If I lived 50 years ago or whatever I would have been all for feminism. Right now in the 21st century? Nah, egalitarianism all the way ✌

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  • I think it's good, you know early on you shouldn't waste your time on that guy.

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  • Stereotype of feminists. A lot of people don't really know what feminism is.

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  • Because they think that you'll try to stop them doing jobs they feel they are 'entitled' to as men

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