Why is my friend pulling away?

two weeks ago, a guy friend asked to date me, but I declined. I didn't see him more than just just a friend. We both have a mutual friend. Let's call him guy friend 2. He is amazing and I enjoyed his company. We liked cracking jokes and tease one another. Now, all of a sudden, guy friend 2 is distant to me. Before he would acknowledge me and talk to me. Now, he only stares at me and is serious around me.

Does this have to do anything with our friend who asked me out? Why is he being distant? Funny thing is, it started right after I declined guy friend 1. It upsets me since he is acting like we were not friends or enjoyed one another's company. It is like our relationship became tense and I don't know what I should do. What do you guys think?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Not sure if I understand, but maybe both liked you, and one got beat to the punch. Now he's laying low (bros before ho) to not stir up tension.

    Essentially two birds with one stone, now neither dude can swoop in

    • Just that guy #2 has not been the same after our friend (guy #1) asked me out. Guy #2 used to be relaxed around me and his social self, but now he is just distant. Like he is not talking to me and is stiff around me. I have seen him staring, but not come close to me anymore. So, his behavior is confusing me... If it is what you say, then tension has already been stirred up... So, do you think I have lost my friendship with guy #2?

    • Might have lost the friendship. He might have been buying time to ask you out, and now he doesn't know how to be around you since the dynamic has changed.

      I'd ask him out directly, or start flirting with him to rebuild his confidence.

      Or maybe he's staying his distance to not creep on you. He sounds like a nice guy, if you don't want a lose a nice guy, you gotta work to keep us

    • I know, that is why I want to fix the problem. I do not like drama, but I also do not want this to hang over our heads until it is too late. Thank you for your honest opinion, It means a lot!

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What Guys Said 2

  • That stuff hurts. We take so long to build courage and to plan the right time to express our feelings. He's hurt and friend 2 knows how much it hurt to get rejected. There's nothing you can do. That's the way friend 1 feels. He really liked you. Just respect that it will take time or may never go back to before. You could even mention that last sentence to friend 1 if you value the friendship.

    • I did, but it seems guy friend 1 wants his space and I am willing. I know I may lose his friendship, but does that also mean guy friend 2? Is it because they were friends before they met me?

    • Yea, friend 2 pretty much knows exactly how friend 1 is feeling. You may or may not lose friend 2 but it's okay..

  • Guys that get turned down usually just move on.



What Girls Said 1

  • Sounds like guy #1 vented his frustrations to guy #2, and he didn't want to cross that line.

    • If that is true, then that sucks. Already feel like I am stuck in a sticky situation since guy #1 didn't take it so well. :/

    • Maybe you can distance yourself from both of them.

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