Looking for perspectives on his behavior?

I recently ended things with this guy about 3 months ago. We'd only been "talking" (or so I thought) for about 2 months but we've known each other for like 8 years. It was never explicitly stated that we were talking but he made insinuations that he wanted to be more than friends, whereas I was more on the fence. We almost dated a couple times years ago but it never worked out. I realized it was too late to be anything with him romantically & that we were better as friends, and when I told him this, he basically said I was crazy to think he wanted anything more & said he wasn't looking to get into anything. He didn't say much else other than that his feelings fluctuated a lot and I expect him to just swallow them, & that his silence wasn't meant to hurt me.

I tried to get him to talk to me because I didn't understand why he was avoiding me if he never wanted to get into anything to begin with but he just wasn't having it. At this point, I'm thinking he was just using me as a time-filler until he could find someone else, or he was trying to hook-up or something and when he realized that wasn't going to happen - he bailed. The issue is that I half think that is what he was doing but then the other half of me doesn't think he would do that and doesn't get it at all. So I'm alternating between feeling really confused/upset that he would do something like that to me after knowing each other for so long and just feeling angry that he either really did use me, or that he knowingly let me feel used and didn't bother to explain things. If that makes sense. I'm just having a rough time dealing with this because there's no concrete reason for why it ended up like it did & he was someone I cared a lot about.

I guess it'll just take time and I'll never know for sure why he acted this way but I was wondering if someone else could give me their insight and/or opinions on why he acted this way?
Also, we were friends before any of this "talking" came up. I didn't understand why we couldn't go back to that, or continue just being friends since he never wanted to be anything in the first place, you know? I don't think he was lying when he said he wasn't looking to get into anything either, so I doubt it had to do with me rejecting him.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think he was lying to save face.

    I think he really wanted something more but when you said you didn't that he said what he did to protect himself. Now he is avoiding you because he may feel ashamed or awkward.


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