Why do women start ignoring the guy that has a crush on them?

I’m sure not all women do this but it is something I have seen a couple of times happen. With a male friend of mine. Later with the woman I had a crush on. And now that one of the male regular customers confessed his interest to one of the female regular customers in our bar I see the same thing happen. In all case after the guy confessed his interest in the lady, she started ignoring him. Not only that. They all denied that they were ignoring the guys in question.

Why ignore a guy that you had good contact with before? Why not talk it out? And why deny ignoring him? Is it something us guys do wrong? Should we confess in a better way? Or maybe not at all? Please inform me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly, I have actually done that.

    From what I think, it is because we don't want to hurt you so instead of telling you you've been frienzoned, we decided to break the companionship that we had.

    I do that because I don't want to splash the bucket of ice water on the guy's face saying he isn't my cup of tea but instead letting it soak slowly.

    We deny the fact that we are ignoring the guy because we never actually do that on purpose? It's more of a reflex thing. We think that guys will understand our complex mind, which is ridiculous. I, as a female, can't even understand my own sub-spesies and we are here thinking the opposite sex would.

    I am not speaking for all the female population nor am I speaking for a group of females. It's more of from what I think I unconsiously do. I hope I don't create any misunderstanding :)

    • Thank you for your honest answer. It means a lot to me and probably every guy reading this.

      I was thinking something similar to this. I understand the thought process. And it is great to see that the reason behind it is to not hurt him.

      However the problem is that it is actually much more and longer hurtful to a guy. There is no closure. He is just left hanging there confused with no clue what is going on. Just talking about it would from a guy’s perspective be the best solution. But once again, I understand.

      Is there anything that guys can do to prevent this from happening to them? Approach it differently for example?

    • "I do that because I don't want to splash the bucket of ice water on the guy's face saying he isn't my cup of tea but instead letting it soak slowly."
      Unfortunately this just ends up hurting worse because as he is trying to figure out what is going on, he is liking you more and more and begins to make any hopeful excuse to explain your behaviour, in hopes that you may like him. Add in the fact that many girls act distant even if they do like you, or play 'hard to get' ( which now seems to mean, turn a guy down several times, act uninterested so he doesn't know how you feel, then maybe say yes). Add a dash of people saying things like "don't trust what a girl says, watch for her actions" and it all gets horrably confusing. By the time he figures out what you really want (after a girl has taken her sweet time to figure out what she wants), he's now spent much time thinking of you. If you don't like him, just tell him. Straight up. No delay. Bam in the face. Now he can move on.

    • I am not sure if you can avoid a subconscious action.

      I am in the dark myself on what to do to avoid that, because yes I know it doesn't give the guys a proper closure. Sorry can't help you with that mate.

Most Helpful Guy

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What Girls Said 2

  • Because if we continue to be friendly with a guy who has confessed he has feelings for us they will generally continue to ask us out or badger us with their confessions of love and if we continue to turn them down, yet continue to be nice to them, we'll be accused of leading them on or teasing... so it's a million times easier to just ignore you.

    • It's a good answer that gives me a good insight how it is for the other party. It seems to be complicated for both. Wouldn't it then be better to say that you don't return this feeling and say that you want distance? In my opinion making things clear is better but I could be wrong. I also would like to ask you what you would recommend what a guy should do if a girl has confessed her feelings to him but he doesn't feel the same way. How would a girl feel if guy would ignore her?

  • They probably don't feel the same way so it seems better to distance yourself than to be friendly and chance leading them to think that you do return their feelings.


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