Am I taking things slow with my boyfriend, or is this not typical for "slow"?

He wants to do all these things with me, make all these plans.

We have only been together not even a month! We became exclusive fast.

He wants to see me all the time, but he respects me not wanting to every single day or anything.

In this little amount of time he wants to spend an entire day with me, like us going to his place then going out afterwards and then going back and spending more time into the late hours of the night. I find this hard to do. And on a weeknight this week he suggested we cook dinner together.
I just feel spending THAT much time in one day (like 8+ hours in a day on a weekend) and then cooking together on a weeknight when we've both got work is kind of moving fast.

This is besides the fact we've already been physical other than intercourse. That is way too fast too I feel. I've expressed these things to him.

I just feel like those are things you do after you're becoming more serious. I spent into the late hours with him on a Friday night and a Saturday night and then saw him for hours on a Sunday... that seemed like a lot.

I feel, (again, besides the physical stuff which happened fast) that we should spend shorter more spread out time together, get to know each other, not cram everything in.

He does not feel he knows how to slow things down like this. He says he will but he says it's hard. I just think right off the bat all the time together and stuff that isn't low key is fast.


Most Helpful Guy

  • So then just pump the brakes and give him legitimate excuses as to why you can't see him so you can have some space. You're basically complaining about him liking you too much, which is a hilarious dichotomy considering all the "Why can't I get a boyfriend?" questions on this site.

    • I was going to do this but I felt I needed to be honest with him. Now I think we're both just stressed over it. But at least he knows what I am feeling and we have that communication.

    • Better than lying for sure

Most Helpful Girl

  • It depends on what you want out of this. My BF and I spent 48 hours together including a day trip within three weeks of meeting each other and we felt as natural as a couple that had been together forever. We see each other about twice a week and that includes overnights each time. We felt that comfortable with each other immediately.

    If it doesn't feel natural, stick to your guns and take it slower. If it actually feels comfortable but you are worried you are moving too fast for other reasons, I'd say follow your insticts whatever they are.

    • As slow as I feel I need to go with him, I really can't wait to be able to spend that kind of time together! But if we were to do that now, I would just feel so drained by it. Maybe it's a few factors with my personality. But I am happy to hear its ok to go with my instincts. I tried to fit more time in with him and it ended up just being too much too early on. I wish I could go at his pace.

    • Show All
    • Yeah I feel like I could do that next weekend rather than this weekend. I tried to see him more last week and it was just way too much. Not used to this at all.

    • It is hard to fit someone back into your life, I admit. Well worth it when you can, though :)

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What Girls Said 1

  • It's not necessarily slow but it doesn't seem super fast either.. like, you're not spending every night together and you haven't even had sex.


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