My boyfriend has a few hygiene issues. How can I deal with this and eventually "fix" this issue?

I know to not go into a relationship hoping to fix or change anyone!

When we got together, he put his best foot forward and I didn't notice these things at all... it really did NOT take long for him to get "comfortable".

I'm attracted to him, but these things are getting in the way.

I can tell he does not shower *every* single day... I can tell he wears some shirts more than once. Sometimes he smells like something got wet. Not a nice way of putting it, but that's what he smells like. It is very unattractive.
He's also not circumcised, and that is new for me in itself.

He brushes his teeth and everything but I think he may have a cavity...

I could taste the mouthwash on his breath and the aftershave on his skin when we first started together. But it was so fast that it changed...

And one time, he thought I was going to break up with him. And he went all out to look nice, clean shave, nice hair the way I've complimented it. (He just cares very much and was over-worried when he knew we needed to just talk)

I told him he looked nice that day. I figured, I should always compliment him when he is at his best?

Really don't care so much of what he wears... it's the hygiene. But yes, he has the know-how of how to dress well, but doesn't. Its getting in the way. I really never thought it would, but my senses are going in the opposite direction regardless of everything else.

This is harsh and not an easy question for me to ask. Keep complimenting him? How else? I would never ever want to hurt him but yes it's getting in the way.
The thing with him being uncircumcised is he should really shower every day where it is foreskin and things happen in dark places. That's what I mean by that.
But also forgot to mention, he lets his nails get REALLY long sometimes and that is just embarrassing.
Thanks all, things have gotten better without me having to ask. He will shower every other day and brush his teeth if we go to bed together, but if he is up later he won't. His nails will get long at times but I haven't been as bothered by all of it, maybe I just got used to it.


Most Helpful Guy

  • "He's also not circumcised, and that is new for me in itself." <---- WTF? if someone's not circumcised lacks of good hygiene?

    • You need to keep it clean down there, do you not know that? How can it be kept clean without showering every day? Relax.

Most Helpful Girl

  • A lot of people have a cavity and are uncircumcised, I wouldn't pay too much attention to those haha.

    I get what you're saying though!
    Maybe be like 'I was out today and saw this and thought of you' and give him a sexy smelling aftershave, and tell him how good he smells when he wears it.

    If the opportunity arises and you're watching tv and an ad comes on or something about hygiene, just be like 'imagine being with someone who was proper unhygienic' but do it in a casual way so that you laugh about it.. He'll hopefully take the hint then!


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What Guys Said 2

  • Disgusting. You'd better take care of things now, because lots of men tend to care less about hygiene etc. as they get older. Don't put up with it. It's vile, and totally irresponsible to not take care of yourself. It's lazy. Showering and putting on clean clothes takes very little effort. That and basic hygiene/grooming tasks might take 30min a day. Put your foot down.

  • How new a relationship is it? Often with things like this, it's easier to approach the issue via one of his friends (if you know them well enough to feel comfortable bringing it up).

    I've been asked to have a word by a friend's girlfriend before, and before she approached me, it had been getting on her nerves for a while (sounds quite similar to you). Feel free to send me a PM if it's easier.


What Girls Said 2

  • Omg does he wipe his dick off after he pees? So gross.

  • I don't know how you date this guy. That would be a deal breaker for me.


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