When a guy says he thinks you are "too masculine"/ "manly"?

He says he wants someone who isn't afraid to show how she feels... he feels like I don't make him feel wanted enough. Okay, so I have always been there for him when he has needed to talk, I make time for him even though I am a full time student, work, and am very involved in the community, I do all sorts of small things to show I care, and we are both physically intimate.. When I pointed this out, he said he had wanted me to be more vocal in my affections around our friends, to show some jealousy or possessiveness when he was talking to another girl in front of me (I usually get upset but don't react because I trust him enough to know his limits), to text him more, and to post about us on social media to show I am proud of him, and not be worried about PDA. He feels like he has been more vulnerable and emotionally open in front of me just because I have never cried in front of him- but that is just because I'm scared of being seen as weak and incompetent around him... I just don't understand. Will doing all these things really make me more "feminine" and less "masculine"? Do girls normally do these things in a relationship and my not doing them, makes me less womanly? ... or is this guy just full of ish. What does everyone think?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • sounds like he is very insecure. he is seeking more reassurance then anything else, doesn't really have anything to you. if that is not the case then it could be that he is just picking on things that you are not doing in the relationship in order to rock the boat, he could be setting things up for a break up and blame you for it based on all the things he has listed,

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    • It is definitely a possibility... one I hadn't considered before now, but very well may be true. He kept saying he does want this to work out and did stress that he wants us to communicate better, so that makes me think he isn't fully set on the idea of breaking up and moving on just yet. But it also feels like he is giving me an ultimatum as well: change how I am to how he wants me to be or let him go.

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    • i wish you all the best in the future to come. if you ever need a chat feel free to drop me a line. take care and be well

    • Thanks, really appreciate it.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Hard to tell...

    But maybe he just expressed what he feels...

    Why wouldn't you try to do just a little bit of each of those and see what happens? You seems to genuinely like that guy, isn't it worth a shot?

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    • I can definitely try.. its just-- it's not who I am. For me to change all of those small things would be to change myself-- and as much as I really care about and like him, I don't know if I can give up myself in order to be with him. I guess I think long term- and I just don't want to keep compromising as our relationship keeps going, changing bits of me each time to appease him. If he really likes me, he should like all of me and not just some parts.*sigh* Do you think I'm wrong in thinking this way?

    • I get what you mean.
      I just don't see why some small gestures here and there would change who you are.
      I mean... in relationships you are supposed to look for middle grounds on somethings.
      Both got to be somewhat flexible.
      I don't meant like doing exactly as he says for everything.
      But again, I get what you mean.

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