Why are some guys so heartless?

My guy friend just decided to break our friendship without even telling me. I literally begged and cried to at least tell me what I have done, but he didn't even bother to explain it once. He was the one who said that he wants to remain friends with me forever. We used to talk daily and now? He acted so heartless. I am hurt but still I apologized for any mistake I might have committed.
I know girls do it, too, but I don't get why people play with someone's emotions.
Don't tell me that guys and girls can't be friend because I have seen lots of such lifelong friendships.
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Most Helpful Guy

  • I´m sorry for you but this is reality , man and women can be friends!! You are too young to have seen lots of such "lifelong" friendships and I have seen too many such "lifelong" friendships falling apart and participated in 3 of them. In some ideal world we could be friends but not in this one. I did once what he did , just break all contact because I had feelings and I was a coward than , so I didn't tell her that , thought she didn't like me the way I liked her , so one day I just stopped contacting her and responding.

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    • But I don't think you would have avoided her if she would have cried so much over you. If she just wanted to know the reason once. You would have told her, won't you?

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    • No its not about not letting yourself getting attache. Like Bob Marley said:"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” You did everything with this guy and in year or two you won't have regrets! But I bet he will have them. Be true to yourself , be smart, but despite this do give people a chance... just be careful , thats all.

    • I will give people chance, but I will take more time before getting attached. I seriously can't suffer another wound.

Most Helpful Girl

  • 99% of guys DO NOT want friendship with girls, their ego gets too butthurt lol they try to act all "manly" but when it comes to girls... POOF! you ain't getting any sense out of them... they show how they don't take rejection as good as us females and they are just softies just like us girls, they constantly try to set themselves apart from us out of fear of being made fun of by other guys... they fear showing their more feminine side.

    Their response is cold behaviior like this... most guys aren't men but boys... a real man would show his softer side with you even around his friends not hide it... it's just a really fake way to act because they aren't being themselves... who cares about "reputation" but they seem to do too much... indeed it's a huge turn-off because girls actually like expressive guys who show their feelings, So he probably likes you and has for a long time but decided it's time to end the friendship, indeed it's a sad thing guys think they can't be friends with girls... but that's how most guys act sadly... their loss...

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    • But if they like you, don't you think they should at least tell why they are leaving when the girlbis crying so much?

    • They won't lol because they get all pissy over it, that's how men react to rejection because they don't take it as well, when it comes to girls they are soft ickle babies lol so they won't tell you they just leave because they know what you would already say... they think they have bruised thier poor ego enough lol that's all it's about is their ego.

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What Guys Said 17

  • That was a really crappy thing he did. I had something similar happen to me a few years after high school. Has he all of a sudden gotten a new group of friends he likes to hang out with, and has been spending less time with you, perhaps criticizing you more than usual?

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    • No. He never criticized me. In fact, he admitted liking talking to me. He considered me a good friend. And he's not the kind of person who leaves old friends on finding new friends. He only treated me liek this.

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    • I know, it will, just try to seek the comfort of those who you do have in your life and the activities you enjoy for now. And don't listen to that little voice that gets you down and makes you think that you will never find another friend like that or if you do they will leave you the same way, because that voice is WRONG! :)

    • But everyone so far... always left me. We either drifted apart or they left me when I needed them the most. Then they come back, but my trust has been broken. I trusted this guy, and same thing happened.

  • If he's not seeing anyone, he quite likely wanted more out of the "friendship" than you did. Guys do not operate well in the "friend zone" if they have a crush on the friend. Sometimes, an action like this is an attempt to elicit a reaction, to see how much, if at all, the girl cares.

    Orrrrrr... you said or did something to piss him off. But Imma' go with the former.

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    • We were just friends. And I can't remember anything that an apology couldn't fix. The saddest thing he knows I cried and am sad, but he is all so happy with his friends. I am glad that he is happy, but he didn't even bother to apologize to me once

    • Without meeting the bloke, it's hard to say for sure, but his actions are tantamount to those of someone playing "games". He may very well have issues that he needs to work through. He may be trying to elicit a response, to which I'd suggest not falling into that trap as it's nothing but a control issue. There are some great people in the world. Don't let anyone bring you down with such trivially juvenile behavior. A real friend would not do that to you. A suitor who *would* is not someone you'd want to entertain a relationship with, anyway.

    • I know he's not playing games. I am sure he just doesn't want to talk. I also know that he doesn't want to elicit any response. In fact, there's no point of forcing people to stay in your life if they don't want to. But you get attached to people, and when they leave, they should at least give a reason instead of hiding it like it's the top most secret. I know there's a reason behind his actions, but at least tell that reason to the one who is affected by it.

  • No idea, I wouldn't do that to anyone, I'd at least say why, even if it was just a case of fundamental differences coming about midway through the friendship.
    He might just have feelings for you, convinced himself you would never feel the same way, and decided to try and break it off cleanly. That'd be a dick move, but it might be why he's just cut off from you.
    Sorry this happened, I'm certainly experienced in losing friends😔

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    • I am also experienced in losing friends but most of the times, time grows us apart not like one day, someone just decides to never talk again to me. And the worst thing is, he knows how much hurt I am. He knows how important it is for me to know in order to move on, but he acts like he doesn't care. maybe he never cared all his actions were fake.

    • I wouldn't agonize myself over it. If he's willing to just drop you for whatever reason, he's not a great friend.

    • Yes, I think so. I trust someone for the first time and... I feel pretty naive now. Haha

  • I will say it, girl. Girls and guys can't be friends. Thats all I have to say. You have this illusion and now you're hurt. It's up to you to realise it.

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    • I have so many guys and girls as purely platonic friends. Really. They can't even think of dating each other.

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    • You can insist and believe that. I won't. It's never friendship. The idea to fuck the girl is always there. Offer your so called friend a blow job and see in how many nano seconds he'll be ready to receive it. Then he will be your 'friend' again.

    • Okay. I know that he has a female friends. Some of them are below average. He is not really close to them, but I know that he is a friendly guy who talks to a lot of people irrespective of their looks or gender.

  • I've never known someone to be that heartless for no reason, man or women, you obviously did something without realizing it but what.

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    • I don't know. I don't think I have done anything so disastrous. I still apologized if I committed any mistake. He knows I am hurt, extremely hurt that I am not able to move on and yet he never told me why he did that.

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    • All my care for him has been finished. I just purely hate him now. But I just wonder how can someone be soooo emotionless when they clearly showed that they care about you. Heartless people!

    • I really don't know.

  • Why are some women so heartless?
    I was with my ex wife 25 years. she threw that away like it was nothing. She did not shed 1 tear the entire time. that was Jan 14, 2014. Coming up in about a week it will be the 1yr anniversary of the day she told me she had been cheating on my the last 2 years of our marriage, then laughed. she didn't keep one picture our wedding or of me.
    25 years with someone who never loved me and never even cared about me. How do I even come to terms with that?
    and before you say "well she must have loved you at some point" I say this because she told me, while laughing, that she never loved me and never cared for me.
    so again, why are so many women heartless cunts?

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    • So is she with someone else now?

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    • Okay... but I know that he is a very friendly person who talks to many girls and I am sure he is not even interested in them. He can maintain his friendship with them but not me.

    • My situation is similar as yours

  • Most likely he had feelings for you, but doubted that you felt the same for him. He seperated himself from you so that it wouldn't be painful for him. But i don't understand why he would leave wothout telling you the reason, because if he's gonna stop being friends with you anyway, he wouldn't have to worry about "ruining the friendship". Unless there was some kind of circumstance that would prevent you two from building a relationship.

    Or this one other, completely different explanation: It is possible that he has a new gf that you don't know about and she is jealous about you two being friends. So maybe he decuded to listen to his jealous gf and break off the friendship with you.

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    • First of all, he doesn't have any gf. I am 100% sure he's single.
      And even if he doesn't have any friendship to lose, but won't you feel slightly hurt on seeing another human crying over you? Won't you try even a little bit to make it fine?

    • If i had feelings for you, but i knew for a fact that we couldn't form a relationship, i would stop being friends with you. l to avoid anymor pain. But that would be the only reason i would cut off a friendship like that.

  • Maybe he always had a crush on you and just couldn't take it anymore.

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    • I really doubt it. He acts really happy even when he knows that I am hurt and crying. He is quite emotionless.

  • That's the culture of break ups... !!!
    I don't wanna say anything else!!!

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    • Break ups happen between couples! We were just friends. And generally, we just start talking less and drift apart. Not like, we just break our friendships one day for no reason?

    • So u hadn't have sex with him?

    • Nah. We were purely platonic. We used to just flirt like other friends and that was all.

  • He sounds like he isn't worth the time of day.

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    • Sadly, I think so. If he can't tell me why he pushed me away, he certainly never deserved my care.

  • I blame Organization XIII.

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  • did you quarrel recently?

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    • No. I don't know why he's treating me like this.

  • he is your darling or only friend?

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    • Only friend

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    • by the way my English is not very well? do you understand my each sentence

    • Yes, I do understand your sentences but he is not worth it anymore. He really doesn't care. If he did, he would have told me why he left me like this.

  • Did u hook up with someone recently?

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    • Nope. I have never hooked up with anyone in my life.

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    • I don't know. I guess I would. I don't have any female friends tho so I don't know!!

    • But still... it won't hurt you to tell her whatever mistake she did. Some guys can be jerks!

  • I did it once too, a long time ago, that was because I felt so strongly for her, I loved her, but situation did not permit a relationship and it was better for the both of us (for me most of all) that we went our owns ways. So I did the same as your friend. Just disappeared. She'll always be the one that got away, but I know back then it waas the right decision to make and if I had told her why she wouldn't have understood.

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    • But it is little selfish. What if she would have cried and asked you to tell her?

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    • I don't care if he comes to his senses or not. He is being purely narcissistic here. That kind of person has no space in my life.

    • That's the right way to be thinking and sometimes these things happens for the best too
      I hope it all works out for you

  • I did this because I loved her and it was hurting so much that it wasn't reciprocated, so I ended the "friendship".

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    • So you won't even give her a reason why you are leaving?

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    • No, I would tell her. So it's likely he doesn't love you and just wants out.

    • Yes. That's the difference between him and you. Hurting someone so much when they didn't even do anything is terrible.

  • I did that once because the girl was clingy and annoying

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    • If you are the one texting her daily, then she certain as hell is not annoying or clingy.

    • then I'm not talking about girls such as yourself.

    • I always gave him enough space because I also love my space and alone time

What Girls Said 10

  • Because they pour their heart into growing a beard so there's no heart left to be loving towards anyone or anything else except the scruff on their face. which they baby more than they would probably baby an actual baby.

    right, @rthomas43? right.

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    • As a beard owner, this is correct.

    • Haha it made me cracked up a bit :') but I wish that was the case

  • They are not heartless. Please :) Their hearts' just beating in their penis mostly. If he gave up from you probably he wouldn't take the stuff what he wanted from you. Cry for worthy one, not for a bastard..

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    • I don't think he wanted anything from me. He always considered me a good friend. :(

    • Then consider this like a bad friendship which must be over and go on to your life. After a deep sadness comes a pretty happiness. This is the balance of life, i know you feel yourself desperate but you're not weak. You can overcome this with the power inside of you ;)

  • My first boyfriend broke up with me like that. through a text message. He refused to tell me why even tho I knew. He's a big part of the reason why I don't ever fully trust guys.

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    • But at least you knew he was breaking up. I had to figure it on my own that he has broken the friendship.

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    • Thank you. And real friends don't just cut you off with no explanation. Remember that.

    • Indeed! :)

  • Maybe he is in love with you and you have a bf or he feels that you don't like him?

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    • We both are single. Moreover, whatever the case is, but don't you think that a girl cries for a guy, he should at least tell her why he is doing it.

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    • I have already cried. Anything would hurt less now.
      Anyway thanks a lot ^.^

    • Okay well maybe he realises what a jerk he is being and if he doesn't.. he doesn't deserve you :)

  • he needs a break. dont cling to the old relationship. it's not good. move on.

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    • Break from me? I have just known that you need breaks from gfs. If you need break from friends, you don't break friendships, but talk just once in a blue moon night. That's how friendship finishes.

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    • I think you need a pet. adopt a cat?

    • I don't have much money to adopt a pet right now otherwise I would have totally adopted one! :)

  • Lol because they get their dick in a bunch

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  • Girls can be heartless too.. it isn't just guys.

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    • I have written it in description -_-

  • A 27 year old guy did the same thing to me.

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    • Do you know why?

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    • I tired calling back and he did not pick up... and he basically was gone and...

    • That's really sad. Such people don't deserve an ounce of trust.

  • Guys are bigger cunts than girls.

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  • So fond girls equalize them

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    • What does it mean?

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    • Some Guys don't have this capacity. They can only love themselves.

    • I hate that kind of boys

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