Who's fault is it? he changed the plans without telling me?

A guy im dating and i made plans for this Saturday, but yesterday he asked if i wanted to hang out, and we did. So in my head that means we are hanging out today (friday) and the plans for Saturday aren't changed.
So i asked him if we were still getting coffee today (staurday) and he told or asked me " didn't we have that coffee yesterday?" and i couldn't help but feel rejected and a bit stupid. I mean it's cool that he doesn't want hang out, or doesn't have time, but i felt like he should have told me that we moved the plans.
Whats your view on this? was it my own fault, should i have had understood that he indirectly moved out plans? by the way this the first time i have dated. and im quite insecure.. so i feel like i messed up, and that he find me clingy or something... or that he didn't have that much fun and dont want so hang out anymore...


Most Helpful Guy

  • He should have been more clear. Not mentioning Saturday led you to believe those plans for Friday had nothing to do with the plans for Saturday. You could ask him to be more clear next time to avoid confusion or if he does it again ask him directly if your plans on such and such day are still on as well as today. He probably changed the plans because he found something he wanted to do more so instead of cancel he changed his plans around to fit both you and those other plans.

    • And that is a bad sign that he changed the plans around so that he had time for me and whatever he has planed for today?

Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't worry or think too much about how he feels. You should focus on how you feel about him. Right now you feel disrespected and you should based upon his answer. I would think long and hard about whether this is the guy for you. Usually when a guy wants to date a girl he can't wait to see her. It feels a little to me like he is making you work into his schedule when it suits him. Never a great sign.

    • He seems lika great guy... and this is the only "bad" thing he has done. Ex. we have talked almost everyday this week, and he was the one to start the conversation almost all of the times. He asked about me, my interest, how my day was etc.. But that could ofc just have been a game plan or something.. i really thought he was interested in something serious. ugh..

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    • I know you are new to dating and said you were a bit insecure. Just know that guys hate clingy and insecure behavior, so you best bet is to play it cool with him and not show that to him. Talk to friends and others as you go along and figure out how you feel about it. In the meantime keep yourself busy with other things. It helps lessen the doubts, etc. in relationships because then you are out enjoying your life.

    • well im that kind of person that gets insecure fast, but i dont show it or bring it up. And since out plans were cancled and i have nothing to do today i think i might just go a grab a coffee on my own.. i dont want to stit at home and have a lot of thinking time.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I'm with you, he should've told you that he wouldn't hang out today because you hung out yesterday. It was his fault. But I think it's no big deal, he didn't mean to reject you or make you feel stupid. It was just a misunderstood. Next time you just ask him now that you know that he doesn't say.

    • ugh... do you belive it has anything to do with the fact that he didn't enjoy last night? we wacthed a movie and cuddled for hours and it seemed like he enjoyed himself... but ofc maye he really didn't

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    • he did just ask me to go to a party with him.. so maybe he just wasn't bothered to grab coffee, and it had nothing to with me

    • Yeah, I agree.

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