How do I tell my husband I was wrong?

I picked up my husbands phone bc of a text and punched I the passcode to read him the text when he asked. It ended up that he was sexting with 2 women in a group text and was sending them nudes and all kinds of freaky stuff that goes back at least two weeks. He and I got in a big fight and he shoved me agaist the wall and grabbed a hold of my neck and was chocking me while blaming me for depriving him of sex and spying on him. Once he released hold of my neck he grabbed his phone and left the house. I feel really really bad bc I didn't let him explain himself and just started yelling.
How do I tell him I'm sorry and I shouldn't of looked back through his texts? Guys how would u want ur wife to say sorry?
Updates:
The only reason I want to tell him sorry is so we can have a civilized talk about what happened and why he was sexting other women

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Handle it with care, for civilized and safety reasons. Just apologize like, "I am sorry, I should not have snooped through your phone." But don't let the whole choking thing slide so easily. Maybe say something like "We both reacted poorly, and I just want to have a civilized conversation about it" allow him to speak what's on his mind, and make sure he lets you say what's on yours.
    That choking thing might have just been a reaction, and shouldn't really be too big of a deal. If he is normally violent, or keeps behaving that way, you should leave him.

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    • Yeah, just pretend it didn't happen, I'm sure it was a one time thing. I mean, there's a small chance he might kill you next time, but let's just brush the domestic violence under the rug for now.

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    • No, we don't all have a breaking point. If a guy is going to choke you over presenting him with evidence that he's a cheater, he's unstable and it's going to get worse.

    • @Hubris given that context, of coarse he was out of line. However, she mentioned a big fight. We don't know what was going on during this fight. I am not trying to make him the good guy, because he's not. I'm just stating my opinion.

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What Guys Said 11

  • Well I don't know about that one. Sending and receiving nude shots? Maybe you're justified in getting angry. Are you really holding out on him with sex? That sucks but I still don't see that as a a good excuse...

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    • I don't think so, we have sex 5 times a week maybe that's not enough for him?

    • He just sounds like an asshole to me.

      Yeah, it's probably not enough. I've heard of some guys that need sex like 4 times a day. You should have thought about that before marrying him.

      And if this is a fake post I'm not turned on by any of this, fyi.

  • Step One: Go home, get the fire extinguisher out from under the sink, hit him in the back of the head with it while he's at the dinner table.

    Step Two: Stomp on his nuts until they're paste for cheating on you and assaulting you.

    Step Three: Live a happy life and forget this asshat ever existed.

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  • Are you crazy? You apologize to him? Man this guy must have it made, he can stay married and when his wife finds out he's cheating she has to be the one to apologize for after he beats the crap out of her.

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  • The only sorry thing here is that he domestically assaulted you and cheated on you.

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  • Damn he put his hands on you? You should probably leave

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  • Just a normal sorry but that choke hold was harsh...

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  • Seems like a troll post to me...

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  • "Honey I was wrong, please forgive me"

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  • I don't see where you were wrong? Please explain if I'm wrong but he was cheating on you (in a minor sense), and then aggressively choked you? I don't know, it still seems to me that he's at fault.

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  • You tell him you're sorry, and that you just jumped to conclusions. You need to learn from your mistake

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    • She was wrong cause she read him text yes.. But that doesn't give him right to choke her like that.

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    • No, she wasn't clearly wrong, you fucking dolt. If you get caught cheating, it doesn't matter what the other person had to do to catch you.

    • She was clearly wrong, we all know it

  • "I was wrong."

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What Girls Said 7

  • Don't even bother. Your husband is an abusive, cheating asshole based on what you say here. You feel as though you need to apologize to him when you clearly don't, because he's psychologically manipulating you. Please leave while you can. This is not a good relationship at all.

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  • ok so let me get this straight your now abusive husband asked you to read a text and it just so happens to be from girl he's been sexting then you confront him, he got mad because he was caught. . then because he was so mad he threw you against the wall proceeded to choke you and basically told you it's your fault. and your supposed to apologize. . screw that I'd be divorcing him tomorrow! !!

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    • Asker - This says it perfectly! Please pay attention to this. The one you selected for MHO said "That choking thing might have just been a reaction, and shouldn't really be too big of a deal." that is a big load of crap. No choking allowed, EVER, in any relationship!!! It IS a big deal. Run!

    • @red_arrow I've been there done that If he's ok to put his hands on her once it'll be easy to do again. mine was also the same variable except he actually had sex with 5 girls. it only gets worse. . I was almost killed the time that I left. . if there was another time I wouldn't be here.

    • I am completely aware of that, more than you know. I've seen it and trust what you say. Asker - Staying with this kind of guy actually puts your life in danger! You have been brainwashed to believe it is your fault. It is not! And sooner or later guys like that do serious damage. Run!

  • You shouldn't have yelled at him like thay, yes. You should have take talk about this like a mature person. BUT that doesn't mean he can abuse u like that. He was cheating on u, he's the one at fault

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  • You should not be sorry. He acted really defensive and guilty. He is guilty actually.
    He violated you, cheated on you. Let this man go.

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  • He sounds abusive. Call the police or have the police on speed dial.

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  • WTF? He assaulted you and you want to apologize?
    Sure you shouldn't have snooped still that is still no reason.
    Grab your belongings and run for your life.

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  • I was gonna rant and rave about how you should leave him, but if you're this stupid you should just stay with him. Stupid deserves stupid.

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