How to catch a douchbag early on? He comes across as a great guy, but he did something this weekend that made reconsider him?

What are some warning signs that a guy is bad or/and a douchebag? I have been asking some questions about a guy im currently seeing (first time ever) and the responses have made me think that he is a great guy, but also someone that i shouldn't really be with.
My experience with him is ofc subjective and even if i explain my situation well people could easily interpret in a completely different way, so i guess asking on GAG isn't the best solution, but it's better then nothing... He was great the first week, but then he did something this weekend, or actually two things that made me quite stressed and i didn't really understand why he did them..
And how many times can i guy do something to termed if it's just a way of behavior or if he did a mistake?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • What did he do? that said, if he did it twice and your gut is telling you that you should not be with this guy, then yes maybe you need to move on.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you're still uncertain after receiving opinions maybe your gut is trying to tell you something. Listen to that inner voice. Not your mind. Your gut is almost never wrong. Red flags are red flags don't wait for them to become explosive before you listen to them.

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    • well when i have asked these questions only one has said it was a bad sign and the rest has said it not a big deal or that it wasn't necessarly a bad thing. Im very new to dating, so i dont really know how much is to much etc if you know what i mean... He is a really nice guys in so many ways, but it ofc just be an act.. so i think i want ot wait and see if he still doesn things like that.. i personally think its a bit early to determed if he's a good or a bad good (we have know eacother for just over a week)

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • if he's flirting other girls on purpose to make you feel jealous!

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What Girls Said 3

  • Depends on what he did. If you think about it enough that you're reconsidering him, then follow your gut and get out before its too late!

    If you really like this guy and think you might be overthinking it, then talk to him about what he did, and tell him how it made you feel. If he gets defensive or mocks your question, then send him to hell and forget about it. Only you know how you truly feel. Always follow your gut.

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  • :/

    It's really hard to comment on the situation when I don't know what happened. Really there is a few things that could be going on:

    a) He is an asshole

    b) You misunderstood something

    c) He didn't mean anything by it and didn't know it would bother you

    But I can't tell you which it is from what you just posted.

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    • Long story short he kinda moved our plans without telling me. i asked him to hang out within the week, he told me he only had time in the weekend. Friday came, he asked if i wanted to hang out, and we did. In my head hanging out in the weekend means that we are going to hang out on Saturday. But that could just have been a misunderstanding from my part, when i really think about it. Because we only planned weekend and not a specific day. The second thing that happened is that he commented that i was just "lying there" when we were cuddling and that i was or came across as indifferent.. Im quite insecure and i'm inexperienced so that's really the reason for it and i told him, but like he told me this over Facebook and thats what i am reacting to

    • Tell him in person that, that bothered you. He might of thought nothing of messaging you that. Tell him in future if he wants to say something like that then to tell you face to face.

      Something like that I would give him the benefit of the doubt.

  • Listen to your gut. It is seldom wrong.

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    • but i dont know what my gut is telling me... so thats kinda the problem... i haven't been in a situation like this before

    • I just read your answers to other questions and have a better understanding.

      Now I have to wonder if you *might* have over reacted, misunderstood and may be thinking too much :)

      If you aren't entirely secure, your mind will make up sooooo many scenarios, each one worse than the last and all inaccurate.

      Give him another week or so and see if you feel more at ease again.

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