Why do some guy friends can't be purely platonic?

I crave for a pure, platonic friendship where they are like my bros, not like almost-boyfriends!
I understand that teasing and playfulness can be there, but why do my guy friends flirt with me so much that it hardly seems like a platonic friendship. Either sexual innuendos or lots of talks about love and feelings--I mean, friendships should be full of playfulness, right? Some says that they want to be with me romantically while one says that if he had been single, he would have dated me! While one joked about dreaming about me and you know, other sexual things. So... yeah why?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • i also agree with an opinion here that a pure platonic friendship between girls and guys do not exist, i think the only way they can be in a somewhat friendshiplike relation is either if they have been knowing each other since childhood, are colleagues at work or if they usually only meet in a group of people.
    I actually have a female friend, but we grew up together and are colleagues and this way we don't develop feelings for each other.
    And I also have another female friend that I have a big crush on, it's a nightmare.

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    • Yes, it makes sense. Thanks! :) I guess it all depends on the amount of time you spend with them and how much chemistry you feel with them.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Guys are confusing because they value sex above any other kind of interaction. Except, sex is also meaningless to them and not attached to love.

    Think of it moreas access to sex makes them feel valuable and powerful, so not having sex with them seems like an insult. Hence "friend zone" being a dirty word to them because they know it means you don't want to sleep with them. It's better to be friendly and polite, but not to try to have close guy friends. It makes them angry and brings out their ugliest side.

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    • :O But they themselves first start calling us their good friends. They seem like crazy!!

    • It can be confusing. These boys hope that pretending to be friends will give them time to make you notice them romantically. Some (not all) are even jerks in disguise hoping to make you feel you "owe" them.

      They usually mean well, but are just preoccupied with raging hormones and their natural impulse for power and status.

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What Guys Said 14

  • That is because they would be romantically interested if the opportunity was there, primarily because they like you as a person and don't find you unattractive.

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    • Ah. Do boys need only these things? Good personality and good looks?

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    • Lol. Generally girls have a loooonngggg list:P

    • Those long lists ought to pretty much be summed up in these two terms, otherwise we would probably not match based on my criteria, haha.

  • You crave for something unreal. The idea to bang you will always be there. If he can't bang you, once he found a gf he will dump you for sure, cause he can't be with both girls at the same time.
    I say it all the time on here, friendship between guys and girls doesn't exist.

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    • But I know some guys who are committed but still have female friends. They don't talk to them often as they are busy spending time with their gfs but they are friends nonetheless. Is platonic friendships a problem when a guy seems to spend hours and hours each single day with you?

    • I was 1000% sure you will say that. ''I know some guys...''
      The only thing a girl has to do to realise that the guys is not ''just a friend'' is to offer him a blow job for instance. Then see in how many nanoseconds he'll be ready to shove it into you and you will get rid of this illusion. I lost once a relationship from a so called ''friend''.

  • Get a gay friend.

    Guys want physical intimacy. Contrary to popular belief, most guys aren't slamming ass on the regular. So when a guy gets a friend who's a girl and she's halfway attractive, he's gonna want to sleep with her.

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    • Hahaha gay friends ♥♥
      *sigh* I really love the platonic friendships they show in movie but I guess it's all fiction.

  • Because... for a guy to want to have a "platonic friendship" with you, he must have ABSOLUTELY ZERO physical attraction for you. If he has even a little speck, feelings will eventually develop.

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    • I am cute, yes, but even the committed guys do it :( And yes, I have crush on one of my friend but it seems sad when I call my friends bros and they confess their feelings : It seems like after getting a bf, I'd have to cut down my contact with them.

  • Maybe it's just the kind of people you are drawn to/the only guys around you

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    • Each single guy till now :(

  • You're average straight male doesn't see females as just platonic friends. That's why we have male friends.

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    • But I know some guys who are committed but still have female friends. They don't talk to them often as they are busy spending time with their gfs but they are friends nonetheless. Is platonic friendships a problem when a guy seems to spend hours and hours each single day with you?

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    • It could happen that some guys befriend you keeping only 'friendship' in mind, but somewhere along the way, they start liking you?

    • That's possibly too

  • Because they'd all have sex with you. Its not purely platonic.

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    • :/ They all would? If they find you cute?

    • I'm saying in particular, your male friends all would.

      Those are not jokes guys make with girls they wouldn't hook up with.

    • Hmm.. okay. Thanks.

  • because they want the P. most guys you meet will be like this.

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  • Feelings dévelope, unless he can't feel love he will always fall for you

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    • "Can't feel love"? I guess, every good guy can feel love.

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    • Love is too stressful. haaha

    • One big benefit

  • Just won't happen if you're pretty sorry

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    • NO BROS? :( okay :|

    • It's sort of like this though, if a guy hangs out with you you have a good personality, and if you are also pretty then guess what you have a good personality and you're pretty which make you an attractive person.

  • not possible, at all

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  • Guys talk about feelings with girls because they don't with guys. Male-male friendships are distinct in that they often have significantly less emotional openness, guys need females in their life to fill this.

    The innuendo is a sign of sexual interest. Most guys are attracted to their female friends. If they have a connection, even a friendship with someone and they are not unattractive then it's understandable to want sex. Guys are more comfortable about sex and tend to prefer physical expressions of affection. Sex comes with the emotional openness, we feel attracted to the people we care about if they are even remotely pretty. Physical affection is very much entwined with how we bond emotionally.

    In males, sex elicits trust.
    While something that is sort of the reverse of that is true in females.

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    • Wow. This answer was well detailed and helped to understand boys a little better.

    • Good. Thanks. (^_^ )
      Although I feel like I sort of blew through it a kinda fast. :P

  • Men seek friendship from other men majority of the time. And men don't benefit from a female-male friendship

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    • But female friends can provide you emotional support.

    • The majority of men are taught not to need emotional support.

    • and it's silly that they accept that they are better off without it.

  • I guess some guys like to poke fun, some may have some feelings for a girl.

    In a way, flirty is playfulness. Tends to happen when we're all young.

    When you say like a bro what do you mean?

    Could you help me with my question pls?
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1370383-is-this-flirty-female-friend-into-me-am-i-into-her-why-do-i

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What Girls Said 2

  • because the majority of guys are not going to go out of their way to maintain a relatiohship with a woman theyre not attracted to.

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    • It seems like so. Maybe they might interact with their not so good female friends once in a while, but I also have started believing that a guy won't talk to your for hours everyday without slight attraction.

  • In a way I know that feel. My guy friends think I'm attractive too, but I don't think they want to be in a relationship though. I guess I've scared them off :p. Anyways, if you want a guy friend. Stay platonic all the time. Don't even touch them a lot and don't make any romantically or sexual jokes. This is ofcourse very hard to accomplish...

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    • I always keep the talks platonic. I just flirt with my guy friend on whom I have a crush :P Rest, I can handle but sometimes I miss having bros xD

    • My bros are just my bros, even though I know they think I'm attractive and might want to have sex with me. They don't really see me as relationship material and having more bros helps too. Not 1 best guy friend but like 6 guy friends and 3 female friends. then you don't have to become super close, but you can if you want to.

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