How often should you talk to someone you first start seeing?

So I met this guy a week ago and we were texting every day. I saw him 3 times last week, and he even ended up staying the night one of those nights (we just cuddled). Do guys start talking to a girl a lot and then realize they need to slow down so they put communication on hold or not as frequent? It's just weird hearing from a guy constantly and then when you don't, you wonder. I talked to him Sunday in the morning and then he texted me at night and was like, "Night sweetie". I texted him when I was at work yesterday morning and we did that a few times back and forth. I asked what his plans for the day were and he said WoW (world of warcraft). So I assume he played that all days and that's why I haven't heard from him. So I was gonna wait til he texted me again cause I don't like to appear clingy by talking to a guy every day. I'm wondering if I don't hear from him in a day or two if something is up.

He did also tell me has trust issues due to past relationships with the girl either cheating on him or just not knowing what she wanted in the end. Would a guy distance themselves a bit for that reason alone? Maybe he thought things were progressing too fast since we were seeing each other a lot and talking to each other a lot and it was only the first week. Or maybe he just simply wanted 'me' time?

Thoughts? From a guys perspective, do you think we were talking/seeing each other too much? I just wish I could get into his head and I can't.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • As a general rule, I think that in a new relationship you should see each other once or twice a week, and should talk perhaps every other day. Anything more and you risk getting wrapped up in someone and attached before you can determine if someone's a good match for you.

    The best way to handle this, I think, is to talk about it. Talk more about *behaviors*, less about feelings. I say that because behaviors almost always come before feelings -- not the other way around, as many people falsely believe. Establish some very clear boundaries and expectations. I mean to schedule your talks and your face-to-face meetings, kinda like a business arrangement. The benefit to this approach is that it's clear and specific, but flexible. You can reevaluate and adjust as you go.

    He might distance himself because he's been hurt and has a hard time trusting others. If so, discuss it -- but discuss behaviors. Learn which *behaviors* you can do (or avoid) to improve trust between you.

    Good luck!


What Girls Said 1

  • start off talking about movies and other topics even ask him questions about sports guys love sports to know a guy for three weeks to be cuddling up with him is rather fast if you feel you are too clingy it never hurts to slow down just pre occupy yourself sometimes guys are preoccupied with other things if you want to get in side his head ask him quetions not too many oh and hang with him and his friends because his friends will tell how he thinks by how they act that's why they are friends because they relate don't ask his friends questions though slow down with him observe him listen to him if your not talking and he's asks why your so quiet tell him it's because you want to hear what he thinks because his opinion or thoughts or even interest matter

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