I LOVED HIM! still do deep down and HE HURT ME :( : Tell me, will I ever get what I want most from him? Will he ever be sorry?

I posted this as an answer on Yahoo answers, its my story: he isn't even interested in my existence to be my friend, it always hurts to think of Josh as a friend because he isn't a friend of mine on his part yet there have been times when he's said that word FRIEND "Emma... we're friends" it hurts because it ain't true for him. he has recently used me twice. It was my fault I knew that he didn't love me, he even told me so and I know what he'd do but I went ahead and gave myself to him. I drank before for the courage and was being sick during, he got me dressed before his dad came home before he could catch us in the act, he then took me around the corner from his house and onto the green with a tree I fell on the ground. He sat with me for a while and then left me, I walked home tipsy. He said he wouldn't tell anyone. 2 days later, we planned to do it again, this was my suggestion as I wanted to do it properly if I ever was going to have him EVER even just once just to hold him. He sat down by me and said "I slept like a baby that night... Daniella I told about us cuz I ended up doing her that night too!" He bragged about that in my face. He supposedly that night left me drunk on the ground, went home and had his dinner and shagged another girl who he also doesn't care about and laughs about it to me when he know how I feel about him. He knew because I confessed to him months ago face to face, I had to do it, to which he responded "Oh... okay" and ran away, he avoided me for months like he hated me. Anyway we went back to mine and did it and after he left, just left and didn't mention it to me again until he messaged me saying" We can't be **** buddies anymore as ****'s happened, nothing bad just the way I feel" he was supposed to be getting with a girl who he actually cared about who apparently like him back now. He has told a bunch of people and is boasting, probably LAUGHING AT ME, HE SAID HE WOULDN'T TELL BUT HE DID! Will he EVER regret NOT being my friend?
I LOVED HIM! still do deep down and HE HURT ME :( : Tell me, will I ever get what I want most from him? Will he ever be sorry?
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