Why do guys avoid asking out really hot girls and settle for an average one?

pls be purely honest. is it because you think they are totally out of your league or it is true that you see them too made up of fake at times?

  • Out of my league
    Vote A
  • Looks too perfect to be true and modest
    Vote B
  • Too made up and fake
    Vote C
  • Other (pls specify)
    Vote D
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Depends on the girl.

    If she seems like she is looking for a hot guy, then she's probably not going to be interested in me. (Party girl)

    If she's dress more stylish, then she may want someone who has more status and can meet her standards. (She wants to live the rich lifestyle.)

    Others may be hot, but are more focused. They dress more business like, and want to focus on their studies/work/etc. (Career woman. Not time for you.)

    Of course, a more normal dressed hot girl, may seem like they might be a nice girl to meet, but she mainly talks only to her friends. So, she's probably not looking and already has a boyfriend. (Or she's shy. But a shy hot girl? Nonsense, right?)

    Then there's the friendly hot girl who talks with everyone. She's the one that DOES have a boyfriend. Because she approached him.

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    • Hot shy, yeah that's rare. Shy people are the cute types mostly

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    • @Prof_Don That's certainly true when you aren't given time to be around them. Like at a club or something.
      In school or at work, you can usually observe how they interact with other people. And who they interact with.

      But that also leads to it being hard to talk with someone who's shy that you don't know. Since usually you end up with the heavy lifting of the conversation.
      ***
      I find that if you are a shy person, that rather than trying to tackle something head on, try to understand why you are afraid to do something, and come at it from a different angle.

      Like the hint thing. If you are scared about being embarrassed, than it's a way of having an out.
      Or if you are scared to approach someone because you don't know what to talk about, then try to think of an 'excuse' to talk to them.
      Even making a joke about the class you are in, or talk about work. It's not even flirting, technically, but it makes you feel more comfortable for future interactions.

    • Very good points :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • Because not everyone's life-goal is to end up with who you just so happen to think is 'really hot'. There's someone for everyone, but being a crybaby about not getting someone's attention handed to you for simply sitting there and looking pretty works in nobody's favour.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 33

  • Most of the really hot women I see are also very stuck up, full of makeup, high maintenance gold diggers, so it is easy to avoid them. But, in general, we avoid them because most girls know they are hot and know their social status and what caliber of guy they can attract. So an average guy may get a date or two, but eventually lose out to the "other guy". Just ends in rejection or being dumped one way or the other. Just easier to avoid that.

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  • I have found this old saying to be true in the vast majority of cases; "Pretty women rarely develop good personalities."

    I am in my 50's and have dated at least 2 dozen women, probably more, in my lifetime. I have dated women that would rate anywhere from a 4 to a 9.5 on the old 10 scale. Every single 8 or above was a nightmare. Self centered, egotistical, demanding and not worth the energy or time needed to meet their demands.

    I finally ended up with a lady who is probably a 6 without makeup but can rock the 8-9 range when in the right clothing and makeup. She sweet, nice, and has interests other than herself. She is kind to others and does volunteer work at a local school. She has developed not only her personality but her mind. She's fine heading out without makeup and dressed comfortably. Those traits makes her a beautiful person inside and out.

    So here is what it comes down to. All women will end up looking much the same aa they age. So ask yourself this, do you want to end up with a self-centered bitch or a nice lady with whom you can laugh at the world?

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  • Men understand their league better than women, since men usually are the ones asking out. After rejections, then successes, we understand which league of women will accept us. Women however have a harder time knowing where they land. Sometimes really attractive men will fuck them, then dump them. They start to think "These men will sleep with me, so they must also want to date me!". Not true. Men will fuck lower if it's easy. Also if a very beautiful woman never gets hit on (Which is very rare) then she may think she's lower than she actually is.

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    • cuz men are too scared the beautiful women would say no cuz the man ain't as good as her

    • Isn't it laughable that a woman thinks she is super good looking cauz guys will fuck her? So misguided! ;-)

  • Looks are only a part of the equation for me, probably a smaller part of the equation than for most men my age.

    As long as she is a 5, that's all I need. I put WAY more weight on the other stuff.

    --------

    From my personal experience (I went to a university with a LOT of bombshell women)... at times the really pretty girls have not been as fun or interesting to talk to. Yes she can look good but if she doesn't stimulate me mentally, I get bored FAST!

    It was a constant issue for me during my college years. The girls in the dorms in my building the guys would yearn and lust after the most... I found to be vapid and boring.

    Not ALL of the girls that many would consider 9s and 10s were like that in my college days, but many of them were.

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  • Out of my league. The fact that the girl is attractive makes it difficult, but that is not the main problem.

    The main problem is the friends! You have to make friends with her friends or at least be good seen by them. And it is even more complicated with the popular girls because their social circle is very broad, so for an introverted guy who has few friends to be accepted by them is extremely difficult. In the case of men, social acceptance is worth less, it is more likely that a popular guy will approach a woman who is not popular.

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  • If a girl really is that amazing, I'll avoid her if she really is out of my league.

    Relationships only work when both guy and girl have similar amount to offer each other in a relationship.

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  • Out of my league...

    My experience thus far has shown that their exists a social norm, built around peer pressure, that women are extremely sensitive to. They don't want someone that isn't wanted by anyone else. They are usually in some subconscious competition to "claim" the one that all the other girls want. So an average looking guy won't have a chance because he's doing the chasing. The chased guy is being "hunted" thus instilling this behavior in other women around him.

    I have confidence in all other aspects of life. I can fix anything, build anything and I'm very intelligent. I know who I am, I know what I want and I know what I'm missing.

    It will come when I can provide security. I don't want a chick that wants a turn-key life. I want someone I can build a life with.

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  • out of my league. You can assume hot girls have many men after her so why should she pick you over the other guys? it just makes more sense to go for an average girl, higher chance of success.

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    • she should go after you because you're the Fucking shit and those other "hot" guys are moody likely "average" in abilities, knowledge and confidence.

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    • Haha fair enough, self improvement is also a better use of time

    • yeah i do! but thats more for myself anyway than anyone else. i go to the gym 5 days a week - although my diet sucks, a lot of pizza πŸ˜‚

  • Many girls in my experience seem too stuck up, and act like you ain't worth they time.. But for me, right now I don't approach any girls.. I don't need to right now.. haha..

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  • Voted other - girls that are that beautiful are often only interested in guys who are at least as good looking as themselves, ordinary guys usually don't have a hope in hell

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  • It's because they're not as hot as they think. There are VERY few truly stunning women around.

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  • for me its becuase most are stuck up. ass hole or want me to be their own personal credit card. i want a girl i can build a life with who loves me. for me and won't. leave if a richer guy comes along.

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  • Because they aren't as "really hot" as they think.
    If you are not being asked out, something on you is the problem.

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  • Mainly for me it would be I don't want to risk them turning me down

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  • Hate to say it... it's a fault of society, but in my experience, "really hot" women tend to focus less on sustaining a stable relationship and striving for equality with their partner. This may go for really hot guys as well.

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  • They probably connect on something else. If you are relie on one thing it only takes one thing to fall apart. Just try and branch out find a guys intrest and play along.

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  • The guy probably just assumes she’s say no. And personality, lifestyle and other factors still play role along side looks.

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  • Who gets decide who's average and who's hot? You?

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  • Maybe they think those women are really attractive and enjoy spending time with them..

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  • Splash a hot girl with anti make up cream and you might wake up with sasquatch. also I'm really ugly soo meh

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  • In the end they'll all look the same. Wrinkly, and like a grandma, so whats the point when you know the outcome?

    nahh, just kidding, it's most def the fact that their outa my league..

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  • depends on personality that could make or break a deal

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  • I don't.

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  • Well why do beautiful girls lie to average guys about having a bf?

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  • Just fear of being not accepted, or 'she has a boyfriend' kind of thoughts

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  • I get more and more shy as girls are hotter

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  • I stopped going for looks and started going for personality.

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  • hotter the girl -dumber the girl (in 90% of cases), so im usualy going for gold middle

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  • You could be the hottest girl on earth and you can be into me but if we have nothing in common or you have a personality type that conflicts with mine than we won't work out. If I can see that immediately I won't appproach.

    Other reasons I don't approach women (not just hot), is that I'm busy and I don't have time at the current moment. Also just because someone gives eye contact an smile doesn't mean that they want me to approach. It's become less socially acceptable for men to approach women in a lot of public places. I and a lot of other men respect that most women don't want to be bothered in public and will leave her alone. If the opportunity, context, and setting allows for an approach I will approach if I'm in the mood if not then I won't.

    Though currently I'm not approaching because I'm not looking for a girlfriend and I'm not interested in dating at the moment. I have other things I'm paying attention to and working on and I guess this falls into having a busy life.

    If I'm somewhere and I see a woman who's rude to someone else I will also leave her alone. It shows me she's either a) in a bad mood, b) mean in general, c) just didn't get alog with whoever else. Either way it's unattractive and off putting to me.

    Lastly there are a lot of beautiful women out there, but just because a woman is beautiful and I'm single doesn't mean I'm going to approach every beautiful woman I see. It would be kind of ridiculous if I did and possibly come off a bit depserate.

    There are a lot of reasons why men don't approach. If you're not getting approached by guys you're interested in approach them. I give this advice, because 1) it's more socially acceptable for a woman to approach and talk to a man anywhere and less likely he'd be uncomfortable about it, and 2) because you can't just sit around and wait for life to give you opportunities, sometimes you have to make your own.

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  • I mean, for this to apply to me there should be an abundance of hot girls in my school, right? Looking at how everybody there is not even average, I don't think I get much of an option. I don't ask em out because I'm not attracted to them.

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What Girls Said 5

  • I wonder the same! My guess is out of league, they know they have less chance rejection with average than hot

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  • Out of league apparently guys think the hotter the girl is the harder she is to get

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  • Guys say friendliness and resting bitch face

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  • Too made up aka too high maintenance

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  • They think too good to be true or too much work to deal with... thats what my brother and his friends say

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