Why do guys say they dont mind waiting, but they really do mind?

Being a virgin by choice and at age this is very stressful and a big reason why relationships fail with me. Im 19 and Im just over it. One thing I hate is having to explain myself in the beginning and forewarning the guy that if its too much for him to be patient then he can go and I won't be mad. And then guys say "I can wait" "I'll be patient" "your worth the wait." And then after their patience is put to the test it suddenly becomes too much and they start blaming ME because of something I told them would happen in the beginning. Then after a breakup those guys treat it as if I wasted THEIR time. Keep in mind I haven't had sex in 19 years, I understand sexual frustration. My one and only reason for holding on to my virginity so long is simply because Im not ready. Not because I'm scared, not because I'm a prude, not because I'm waiting for my husband, not because I dont have needs, I'm simply not ready yet. I have to warm up to a guy and it takes me a little longer than typical but I can't put a deadline on it. It depends on the guy and how comfortable I am with him. My comfort with guys has been taking longer with each guy I meet due to this recurring experience I just dont have any faith that guys ACTUALLY respect my wishes. The thing is, this has happened 4 times! I meet a guy who I want to be serious with, I let him know when things start to get serious that I'm waiting and he will either have to wait with me or move on. They ALWAYS say yes, challenge accepted, and they get disappointed when I meant what I said. I'm sick of explaining it to a new guy everytime I meet someone I really like. Now I dont even feel like telling a new guy about it. You get sick of explaining yourself and having your reasons accepted and "understood" in the beginning, but judged in the long run. Why say you will wait, if its going to be a problem? If you dont want to wait, say that when the issue is first brought up otherwise your wasting the other persons time.
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That goes for girls too! If you dont want to wait for sex, but your dealing with a virgin who wants to wait, then just move along. Trying to persuade the person isn't wrong at all, but dont blame the person for wanting to wait or give up on the person, or treat them like a waste of tims if you ACCEPTED their proposition in the first place.
Why do guys say they dont mind waiting, but they really do mind?
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