Why is it hard to get guys to talk passionately about something other than sex?

I've tried football, video games, hobbies, what they want out of life, childhood. It's like pulling teeth to talk except about sex. Then he suddenly has a whole lot to say and is interested.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Let's assume that a lot of people don't have communication skills. Lol. And it's not that they don't know how to talk, but more of don't know how to connect. And this usually starts at home with their relationships with their family and the examples that were shown to them. In a sense they've been fogged that they aren't aware of it. If they're just available talking about sex and enthusiastic about that, you need to talk to people with bigger dreams, goals, or values. :) press that NEXT button and leave it behind. Everyone has potential to be great and fantastic, but if they covered with a lot mud, it'll be harder for them to shine. You got this girl.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I know the feeling, sometimes it's like talking to a wall but not all guys are like that. I think it's probably just because they either don't think they're other interests are important enough or something, or they're worried that they're gonna be judged for liking something but with sex, most people like the same things so it's easier to talk about without feeling judged too much

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    • See, the problem is that many of us have interests that aren't inherently interesting to women. Not many of them care if I enjoy a certain game, which creates a gap already. That makes many guys hold back.

      That said, if all you discuss is sex, perhaps he should buy a rubber pocket pussy to get his urges out instead.

    • That makes sense, I can understand why a guy would hold back a little because of that. Lol, it would save everyone time

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What Guys Said 43

  • Its not, I talk passionately about most things (well except sports, never been a fan, I understand playing them but not watching them). I would be more likely to bet that it has to do with either the men your talking to or how you approach the topic. I can go on and on about a lot of things but if I'm for instance discussing the mind blowing realization that their is a high probability that their is another version of us some where else in the universe (statistically not far fetched in an infinite universe) and I see the person is not able to contribute or their eyes are glossing over then I'm simply not going to talk about it because to me its a sign they are uninterested. So this could be your problem, that is if you are not showing that your knowledgeable about the topic or engaged in it then most people stop talking about it because they don't want to bore you. Or it could be that your talking to guys who are not interested in anything other then sex, or at least are interested in nothing but sex from you. So what guys do you talk to?

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  • Two possibilities.

    The guy doesn't have much to talk about and think his dick is the biggest defining feature of himself as a person
    OR
    He is simply not as likely to open up and has the misconception that having sex is the hallmark of being a man.

    That being said, perhaps try being general and build a rapport before opening them up.

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  • Probably should cut ties wose only interest is sexual activity, because, they're guys who would rather talk sports, video games, movies, etc. Not all guys only talk sexually, some of us would rather talk other things... We're just ugly. 😂, no but seriously cut ties with dudes like that

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  • It’s possible they’re trying to steer things to being fuckbuddies and want to only give you attention for being sexual. That “trains” you to always offer sex to get attention.

    Its also possible they’re not all that bright and their internal world of thoughts is pretty vacant.

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  • Because you need to talk to a nerd.

    Just face it, what do you expect a normal guy to talk about? He works to live, eats live and live for sex. That the average guy. There is nothing behind that brain other than to charm girls and survive.

    You can get a guy with a "born to rock, forced to work" attitude. Except these guys just sit on a chair and rock around, never actually get anywhere.

    What you want is a nerd. A guy so completely obsessed over something that he has no time for you.

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    • are you really a guy? cos what you described is far from a normal personality

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    • @oddwaffle That is a pathetic way of thinking. Which are you the one that talks about techor is so obsessed about something else that it takes over your life? Guys can talk about other things like music, sports, automobiles, tech, movies, nature etc without it taking over their life to the point they never have time for others.

    • @MysteriousDarkness

      Sure you can talk to a guy about anything, you just get a shallow response. it's like talking to a dumb AI.

      Sure you can talk tomorrow me about cars. Every guy likes cars right? I don't. I know it's a tin box with 4 wheels and it moves. You will get some head nodding.

      Sure I can talk to you about economics. However, unless you are well versed on economics or like it, you will find it boring.

      Everyone has a hobby. A bit more and it's an obsession. The deeper you dive, the deeper the interest. You want interesting you go deep. If you want shallow response, talk to Siri or something.

  • Because you go after the wrong ones, many men are pigs and only think about sex constantly, so unless you want sex find other guys to talk, the good ones try not to think about sex, so quite simply look around and try to find some other guys to talk to.

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  • You are meeting the low grade, boring types that have no substance to them. Life is a marathon and with the type of guys you are meeting you are lucky if you make it a mile with them. People who are just about sex their minds are llike a red light district.
    How ate you meeting these people.

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  • Because of your ages. I talk football baseball basketball... etc. OK, sorry got carried away but trumpet, politics, global warming etc. I think it's his age but it surprises me that you're saying not sports either? I don't know.

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  • It's a socialization thing. Also, he may be talking dispassionately about things he's passionate about, and you just don't recognize it. The cues are different.

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  • That’s not my life at all.

    I would say a lot of girls don’t give a crap about anything I’m excited about. So I may, at times, be prone to hiding it. I have all kinds of interests, but a lot of them aren’t “cool,” so I keep my interest to a minimum... or I just geek out and women get bored and ignore me.

    Yet I LOVE it when a woman shows some interest in something, even if I don’t fully understand it (still try to understand), I think it’s awesome. I usually feel nd it really attractive that a girl can geek out, even if I don’t know much about the subject.

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  • Once again we have someone who is generalizing about “guys”, implying “all guys”. As many have already said to this question, “I’m not like that”, I will say that as well- bc I’m not like that

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    • So I will join in the chorus and repeat- you need to look for a different guy if you want someone who can talk about other things like you said. OR next time you as a question on here, avoid the implying that all guys, or all girls, and start saying “some guys”, or “some people” etc. Avoid stereotyping at all, it’s morally wrong as well bc it can lead to other unethical things as well including racism.

  • Because men produce 4x as much hormones so we think about it four times as much as you guys do. It's a blessing and a curse.

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  • Will all do respect sweetheart you never talked to me lol. Humor aside I can ramble about almost anything passionately and I love a good rant. Perhaps what I see commented here is true its a topic he or the general guys you meet are passionate about is sex. I would think there are several things your guy or guys you meet are passionate about and can talk about. Unless he isn't passionate about anything and you make sex so good its something passionate he can talk about bc he lacks material so take it as compliment. Im just spitballing theory here, I've been watching too much Sherlock shows lol.

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  • I'm of the opinion that he may be concerned about showing you what his passions are. He might not want a potential "scene" in his comfort zone so he keeps you out of it.

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  • That’s an interesting one. Can I ask first: are these other topics genuinely things that interest you? Or are you just talking about them as an icebreaker?

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  • I'm guessing you mean in an emotionally close way. Guys find women incredibly sexually attractive, and we are very programmed to want sex, it's just the way it is. But that doesn't mean we have to be dogs. Re. guys and emotional closeness. Girls find it easier to be emotionally close, because they have female hormones that push them in that direction, and society expects them to be emotionally close. Guys have a more difficult time being emotionally close, as testosterone is pushes more to fight or achieve, to work. It doesn't tend toward emotional closeness, nor does society expect it of men. A curious twist in nature, is that as women age, they have less need to be emotionally close, less need to talk to their man. At the same time, as men age, they tend to become more emotional, and have often have more need to talk and feel close. It's like two ships passing in the night. Male and Female.

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  • Most people are boring human beings. Girls are the same.

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  • He more than likely is only interested in sex with you. I WISH I could find a girl who would talk to me about football, games etc

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  • I dunno where you live or what guys you talk to, but I'm more than willing to talk about vidya whenever man. Lots more to talk about than sex.

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  • Maybe that's the only thing he's actually passionate about? Lol

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What Girls Said 12

  • Welcome to the internet.

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  • My boyfriend loves talking about things like those. We spend hours talking about video games and such.
    Are you talking to him about things you both like? Or just choosing random topics.

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  • It's weird
    The guy I like is passionate about basketball
    Politics
    Philosophy
    Scientific theories
    Etc
    So I can't relate at all
    The men in my environment are all passionate about many different topics.

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  • you meet the wrong guys. do you like to talk about those topics at all? if no then he can sense it

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  • I have the same problem as you this guy. I ran out of shit to talk about cause nothing else interests him. i give up

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  • All the guys on here are super horny.

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  • sounds like the wrong guy for you :x

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  • when u said pulling teeth i felt discomfort

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  • Men would be boring if they hardly talk about sex,

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  • Because you're findig guys with no passions.

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  • Well you're finding f*ckboys instead of normal men

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  • You're probably just bad at finding guys that aren't hos.

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