How do you not take things personally during a fight with a guy your not dating but getting to know romantically and he’s clearly angry and not thinking rationally? Any tips?
Most Helpful Guy
Create space. A disagreement doesn't need to be personal or irrational. In most cases it absolutely shouldn't be. But a lot of people don't know how to engage in an open and honest discourse without getting hurt or being hurtful. Too many broken homes and vicious bickering between opposing minds celebrated in every form of media. It's just not taught. Did you know that we used to televise debates on extremely polarizing topics, even when there wasn't an upcoming election? That's how debate clubs got started. The ability to discuss in a rational manner any topic under the sun is the sign of the finest critical thinking. Wisdom is the ability to entertain a notion, even when you disagree with it.
As I was saying, create space and time for you each to stop considering your own point (s) and ONLY consider the other person's point for a while. Don't think about yourself or your point at all, think about him and his point. Ask him to do the same. Put yourself in their position fully. Try to make their argument FOR them. Step into their shoes, as they say.
You'll know when the time is right to continue the discussion.0
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