Why the fuck do I just stay at home every weekend and never go out?

I dont enjoy it and always feel like I am wasting my time. At the same time whenever I have tried going out by myself I always end up sitting alone the entire night watching everyone else have fun because I am way too nervous to approach anyone and I am probably the creepy loaner in the place so noone wants to talk to me anyway.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Uhh. Staying at home on the weekend isn’t a big deal. Doing nothing is, find something productive or interesting and go focus on that instead of comparing yourself to some perceived standard that you have to go out on the weekends.

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    • See the thing is I dont do anything except Netflix and on apps like this. I am struggling to find something I am interested in doing, but I also dont want to do it by myself all the time. I enjoy being around other people, but I feel like I never contribute anything to the experience so why would anyone want me around?

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    • Well I finish my program this semester so I dont think I will be continueing the classes. Yes I work full time and I will not be quiting because my job is only thing that I actually enjoy doing lately. Are there really volunteer stuff you can do in the evenings? I wouldn't be able to do anything during the day due to work, except for weekends.

    • Yes, weekends and evenings there are places you can volunteer. Animal shelters, political organizations, Salvation Army, goodwill, churches, houses for humanity. Get on the internet and search out those opportunities set a goal and work toward it. And if you are finishing your program at school take a look at some personal interest classes, cooking , hobby stuff.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I know exactly how you feel.

    I had the same issue when I was medically discharged from the service. I went to dance and events, had a hard time breaking the ice and being accepted as a 28 year old trying to get into civilian life.

    1. Dress well, smell nice, get in shape, groom up

    2. Do a variety of events and don't give a shit about what people think. Dance like a maniac, do crazy Warhammer tactics, play dnd, go for walks, find a bike club, get a hobby you genuinely enjoy.

    3. Staying home is easy and a sign of depression with it being simple, cheap and stress free. Lol up jokes and use them as ice breakers when you're out. Listen to people's problems and encourage them to talk passionately about what they like.

    4. If it can't be solved or the issue is a broken record, change the subject and energy towards somthing productive and fun, like a movie.

    5. Treat everyone like a human with stuff they have to deal with like their biology, disorders and problems. Women feel like they're treated like vaginas with life support and men feel like they're worth only what they can do for others. This helps with that.

    6. Have fun.

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What Girls Said 12

  • It's ok to go out alone, the strongest people are the one's that don't need someone else around to be happy. In my opinion most people envy it because they can't get themselves to do it.

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    • Whats the point if I just sit alone the entire night?

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    • I have a house, I have a great career, I am more than stable finacially speaking and I am working on getting back into shape. The only thing missing is a partner and maybe some more friends.

    • You should be content day by day though, you have to learn to be alone, it's just how life is sometimes

  • Then... just stay home? Problem solved. That's what I do, I don't go out or clubbing at all. You're really not missing anything super outstanding.

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    • So you enjoy staying home everynight by yourself?

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    • Then you're not an introvert then, I meet my boyfriend at work.

    • Otherwise, I would probably still be single.

  • I think you should try to overcome it - find some kind people who won't mistreat you and make them your friends or go to a church to find caring people.

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    • Well duh! The issue is HOW to do that.

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    • I am not religous even in the slightest so I would definitely not have anything to talk about to anyone. How do you go from just reading a book to approaching someone to talk to them?

    • Well if you want an online friend which I know is not as good as the real thing - you can add me as a friend and I will add you back. there are ways to make friends but too long to type and this site limits characters.

  • Gosh you sound like my boyfriend before he met me.

    Sounds like you are going to the wrong places. Do you go to clubs, per chance?

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  • Try Meetup, it's a great way to meet people with same interests as you, even have anxiety groups.
    I've met some awesome friends through meet up.

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    • I actually forgot about Meetup. I did look into that at one point, but I could bring myself to go to one of the events by myself. I finally got a friend to come with me, but only went once because my friend was too busy to go again. I am more comfortable if I know at least one person there.

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    • What kind of events did you go to?

    • I've gone to trivia nights, bingo at the casino, nature hikes, dinners, different festivals.

  • In my younger years I used just be at home always and didn't have any self seem. .. now! Hell you need to have a campus to look for me, I am out and being social... I may be busy with my work but I want to get more knowledge of what's going around me... and being active and being challenge is my game of my life!! I love it. Push youself little by little, and just go with the flow, you may not have many people to talk to or be friends yet but once you give a little peice of yourself when your out you will built up your self esteem but it takes practice. .. good luck. Also loosen up a little bit too and try being humorous which helps boost your self to others. Happy thoughts😉

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  • I suggest you to go out with a good friend, so you dont have to feel alone

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    • That would be great if my friends actually wanted to go out. I see my friends every few months and we hang out playing board games and stuff. I do enjoy that, but it only happens every few months and otherwise I sit at home by myself. My friends have other friends and hobbies they enjoy and they are actually enjoying their lives so they dont have a lot of time to spend with me.

    • Then they are not true friends. Try to socialize more at work, take part in events they organize. Also would be a good idea if you looked for a community of your favourite hobby. Join them. For example: One of my friends is religious and he joined to a group of nice people of his own church. Helped him meet new people. So I suggest you that.
      With me, I started to work out, so I joined communities with women who also want to change and we get to know each other. Its nice to have new friends

    • I met my friends in highschool and I have not made a single new friend since, I graduated 13 years ago this spring. So if they are not true friends then I dont know how I can find a true friend. As far as I know my work doesn't organize events, except for the annual Christmas party. The company is way to big to organize anything for everyone so it would have to be my department to organize things and I already know everyone in my department, but they are all just coworkers to me. Other than running, I dont have any hobbies, I have considered joining a running group but then I would be worried about slowing other people down or people slowing me down. Like I have run a few races, and even a few half marathons, but I would still consider myself a begginer runner.

  • Nothing wrong with that

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  • I feel you man. I'm just like you, so this is the only advice that I can give to you (taken from my own experience).
    Try to meet new people. Being stuck with the same faces, same friends can be a little bit meh sometimes. But now that i'm starting to meet new people I can actually enjoy being around them without feeling awkward. You could start to do a new sport, or something like that.
    This doesn't mean you're suddendly going to become a new person. You're going to gain a little bit more of confidence and experience while making new friends, and you may have a little bit of fun too. But if you're and introverted, well, it's your personality. However you can make yourself feel a lot better while being one if you try it.
    You should try it and see what happens.
    Best of luck!

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  • You might be depressed and now realize it.

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    • I have considered that, I have been talking to an online therapist for a few months now, but I haven't heard from her in a month.

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What Guys Said 15

  • I was there. I was afraid of even talking with people and any social interaction cause i had bad expiriances from my primary school. From that point i made myself the most popular people in town, and had a lot of hot girlfriend. I am a big beliver of the need too traumatize yourself with things you are afraid. You have to expose yourself to people, to public evants with lot, a lot people. Force yourself. You will find in field what works and what dont. How to talk to people and girls. Just go and interact, go make some friends. It is a skill. Its normal for you to be bad at it cause you were never very social. Just go outside not for seeking girlfriend or friends or boost of ego, go to make some real life skills. So you can one day when you see a woman of your life be able to take her, so you can have skills to communicate, make connections on your job, that one man that may much improve your career or group of people that will give you new opportunities. But you have to go out of the house and leave your ego aside. After all going out is supposed to give fun, not making people to throw up. Dont take it personal. Imagine it like a video game, super mario for example, when your hero dies press enter and play again.

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  • Plan to go out with some one you know. Just to go out or meet. Can be from work, where you live, school anywhere. Don't plan a date as much as just going out. Guy friend or girl. Invite yourself. Hear about something? then ask to join in.

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    • Other than as a roommate, I dont think I have ever hung out with anyone one on one sinve highschool. I dont even know what two people do together. How do you just invite yourself out to other peoples plans? I had an old roommate who used to do that and my friends hated that he did that. That is just a creepy thing to do.

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    • They are not friends. They are somewhere on the weekends without you.

    • I know, but they have their own lives to live and I can't hangout with them every weekend. That is why I need to find new friends so I have someone to hangout with pretty much every weekend.

  • Mate I you are not alone, I feel totally the same. I'm angry at myself that I don't go out much but when I'm at such a place I can't enjoy it and watch the others having fun. I have been once at a party in my life, I hate it but want me to enjoy it

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  • Sounds like you may have self esteem issues or social communication issues. Or you may just be an introvert. It's hard to say no for sure. What do you do when you go out? What do you like to do?

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    • The only time I go out is when my friends invite me out to their place to play board games and stuff. Lately the only things I have liked doing is running

    • Well if you run into other runners, you could have a simple conversation with them like tips on running more efficiently or running longer distances. You could talk about diets that supports running lifestyles. I've know some people who likes run trails in small groups. You may get into other physical activities being around running partners.

    • You can also just find something random to go do. Something you haven't done before. You can go do it to see if you like it. Like a cooking class, or archery, or wine tasting.

  • Check out all the introvert memes online, if they fit on you.
    If they do, they'll probably tell you what to do.

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  • Most of the time I do the same cuz everyone are busy with their girlfrends/boyfriends to hang out with me but sometimes I go out and drink... i suggest u try it also u may meet someone new

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    • Like I said I have tried going out, but everytime I ended up sitting alone watching everyone else have fun the entire night. Even after having a few drinks didn't change anything.

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    • Well it doesn't happen again because I dont talk to people.

    • Maybe u should... but it's ur decision

  • Well ya if you go out alone you'll feel that way
    But try and at least go out with one dude or girl

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    • Thats hard to do when all your friends never want to go out. The rare time we hang out it is always at someones house playing board games and stuff. I enjoy that, but it only happens once every few months so I need something else to do or someone else to hang out with inbetween.

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    • I get that, but in order to find someone to go out with I need to go out alone to meet this person. None of my friends are single and they all already have other friends that they spend time with so they are not looking to meet new people.

    • Yeah.. some of us just don't have friends

  • Who cares I do the same shit. You’re saving money and saving your liver

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  • You need a play mate who is more outgoing. I had the same problem.

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  • Damn dude u asked the exact same question I ask myself a lot lately. I'm married but my wife is going to be away for at least the next 6 months in another country. I recently joined a new job which keeps me pretty busy. But this is also a time when I should do all the things I have been wanting to do - but I'm not doing anything! On weekends I just play Xbox & Netflix. I have very few friends in this new town but they all have kids - so hanging out at bars is out.
    I even made plans to go to a strip club (wife totally ok with it) but I got too lazy! Woah, its worrisome!

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