Are guys good at picking up signals?

Do guys not notice the signals we send them when we like them? Or do we have to literally tell them that we like them?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Guys suck at it. Stop beating around the bush and just say what you mean. Some guys will pick up on the signs, but the ones who are best at it might not be the ones you want to be with.

    Probably most guys will notice "something" but will be majorly unsure what it means, so there is a very good chance they'll just ignore it.

    Just communicate already. We have words for a reason, so use them.

    "do we have to literally tell them that we like them?"

    Yes yes yes. Seriously what the fuck? That secret cryptography shit is annoying as hell. Speak. With words. Nouns and verbs - forget the adjectives, adverbs, articles, prepositions, wink wink, playing with hair and all the rest of it.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • From my opinion, no they are not the best at hints. It's much easier to just tell them, saves the games and cut to the chase.

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    • Yes!!! Okay guess I’m gonna have to go up to him (even tho I don’t know him) and just give him my number. And then it will be up to him because I KNOW I find him attractive and he seems like a great guy

    • It's a lot easier being direct, good luck!

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What Guys Said 168

  • The more direct the better. It's how we are and what we respond to best. But also, we might notice them, but not understand them, ie, if you leave room for doubt, we'll doubt it, like you would if it was you.

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    • And sometimes women are TOO subtle.

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    • Will give giving my phone number on a piece of paper be more direct? Lol

    • Yep good start lol

  • Depends what kind of "signals" you refer to. What's the stage of your interaction with the guy? If it's the early stages of passing by and looking or bumping each other in the canteen without saying anything to him, then you will need to be waiting a while until someone you like notices you might have a "sweet eye" simply by the way you hold your fork, while he eats his soup 3 tables away.
    So at this stage mentioned above, many will fail. If you are talking and interacting, then chances are definitely higher.

    I'm about 98% certain when someone likes me even the slightest. I see patterns and everything that crosses the border of the pattern to me is a clue that makes me pay more attention to that girl.
    Example:
    - girl that was getting all giddy when I was close by though we never interacted before. And she wasn't like that usually. She was quiet and all. So I instantly noticed the change in her behaviour. And the only thing that was different was me being around. It was her way of saying "hey, I'm here, I'm what you need, come... whatever" ... :)

    I usually pay a lot of attention to things around me, not just girls, but everything. And managed to figure out a lot of things, to develop my intuition, my inner gut feeling, to connect the dots.

    How I did that or when I decided to do that, I have no idea. :)
    And I do realize I'm quicker at figuring out stuff and when I tell my friends random stuff I've figured out, they go "neah man, it's just your mind". But then it proves I'm right. Fuck it feels so good.

    Getting back strictly to girls showing interest. Depends on the signs as mentioned above. On the other hand I believe we all have the ability to notice to some extent, just that some lost touch with that ability. Maybe it has something to do with previous experiences as well. Some might have failed and lost hope. Or maybe some are so "politically correct" they don't want to make a judgement simply on how a girl looks at them; coupled with their inability to do the basic thing of TALKING to a girl, they rather let go and not try at all.

    I was always surrounded by girls growing up and maybe that helped me feel free around them instead of embarrassed and out of place. I remember getting a lot of attention from my bigger brother's female friends when I was 6-7-8. Later in life, started getting attention from girls around me and random girls on the street, so it was a lot of experience that added up.

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    • You look smart and aware of things. Id love to have a chat with ya

  • If you make it super obvious like always making tactile connection with us, giving us compliments & so on, or just having a serious talk about how you feel about us,... that always helps to get to the main core.

    If you are just a really bubbly person & extremely super friendly & always being super nice to the guy,... than that may throw us some false signals which are the opposite of what you meant.

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    • It's not a signal, so nothing false. Chicks like to have fun and smile and be happy. I let 'em, all the way down the street past me.

    • If your bubbly how are shoukd we let a guy know we like him?

  • To me. , this is the number most frustrating thing that most women do. We just aren't wired to pick up on that stuff. The staring, the games... all of that stuff usually doesn't work.
    Just indicate interest casually "hi, I've really enjoyed talking to you, let's go (insert date idea) sometime. 99.9% of guys would eat that stuff up. It rarely happens though

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  • NO. It's mind games. Signals are the stupidest thing to ever do. Just tell them. This is why women think men are dense. We can't read minds

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    • So go up to him and tell him I like him orrrr give him my number? He’s always working behind a counter when I see him

    • yeah, give him your number.

  • We're mostly pretty bad about it.

    Personally, I'm pretty good at it when I like her and am focused on her and whether she likes me, but if I am not focused on her because it hasn't occurred to me that she'd be interested or I am not interested, I am clueless about picking up signals. So for me it's primarily a matter of focus.

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  • It’s possible that you suck at sending clear signals. Or that the guy just is not into you.

    Us men have this saying, ‘she’s just not into you’. Guess it works both ways.

    Can tell ya this tho, if you really put an effort into having an amazing personality & being upbeat all the time, guys will be drawn to you. Extra points if you stand out from your competition visually.

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  • It really depends on the singal and wether or not the guy wants to notice it. If he doesn't like you or isn't ready somepeople get scared and it is easier to act like they didn't notice than talk it up and explain that they ain't ready or something

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    • Yeah my crush kinda seems scared now that I showed a little more interest. Like I looked at him until he looked up and I smiled at him, and I actually try to be close to him. Now he seems scared/nervous and avoids looking at me. Like he’ll look at me/see me coming and look away like he didn’t see me. He still takes glances at me though

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    • So it doesn’t sound like he isn’t interested?

    • Its hard for me to say. I think he noticed something but doesn't know what it is. He might have a crush on you and that's why he noticed it but noe he is not sure what it was. He is afraid that he misunderstood it and that if he no goes and tells you he have a crush he might lose you. So basicly he isn't sure if he saw a signal or not. My tip: go slap him and tell him that you are tired of waiting and that you like him... If you can just go on and kiss him

  • I don't know how well I do. I think I'm ok, but it's hard to tell. I don't get flirted with very often... when I do (rare), it's usually as a joke... I'd like to think I pick up on them, but I'm cautious and rarely act because it's usually been a joke at my expense.



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  • Depends on the guy in question, some of us can be oblivious, but some of us can be receptive. If being subtle doesn't work, you'll have to tell us.

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    • What if you show signs like
      Waiting for him to look up so you can smile at him
      Or taking glances at him and going to his job frequently count as subtle?

    • I think they can be both obvious and subtle.

  • Sometimes I'm very dense. Most other times, I pretend to be dense. Which one an I at any given point? You don't know. Sometimes, you'll have to call my bluff and put your cards on the table.

    In the words of Jenny Rogers, "You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, and know when to run..." I know he's talking about gambling, but it applies here too.

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  • Most dudes are horrible at picking up signals lol. You kind of have to be pretty blunt and obvious for a guy you like to know that you like him or are flirting with him.

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  • Yes tell us. Those "signals" you drop aren't as obvious as you think. It doesn't help that many girls will do the same things that you consider a hint and it means absolutely nothing. So many girls say things like "I was just being friendly" well how are we supposed to differentiate between when are girls is giving of signals and when she is just being friendly? We aren't mind readers. Don't blame men for women being too childish to grow up and make the 1st move

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  • For the love of god. Send signals, yes. Some men will pick them up, but do not ever expect him to. We men are stupid creatures. Even if he notices them he'll second guess and not approach. Be straightforward.

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  • Men that are not 'good' with women generally have no clue. Men who are naturally good tend to notice all the signs, recognise the walls women put up and find a way to navigate around those walls. So be more obvious with clueless men... and let the rest of the men do what comes natural to them. (be a fucking beast).

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    • Men that are good don't look for signs, they go for the women THEY like, not responding to women that like them.

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    • @MintyWolf I was implying that weak men seek signals from women that it is ok for them to approach because the girl is already attracted to them. But a confident guy will approach who HE chooses, assuming that she is already attracted to him.

    • @MusicMayhem ahh i see. Yeah i agree with that, apart from the approaching only women he thinks are attracted to him. I say know ur worth, and see if u can make it happen.

  • I try to be as loud and clear with my own signals but as sensitive as I sometimes believe myself to be I've discovered that sometimes have missed very clear, "I am interested" signals. That I've later been told usually by a 3rd party but often directly from the source that a I've missed some -usu ally ones that ai wished I wouldn. t have missed.

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  • If you don't tell a guy you like him, you don't get to complain that he didn't ask you out. NOBODY reads minds. Stop playing games and use your words like grown folks do.

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  • Most guys understand you before even you could speak but they are afraid from your reaction thought they want you to say directly to make sure. Simply :)

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    • So they do pick up the signals but they’re not sure what they MEAN exactly? Would this cause the guy to get nervous and look at the girl and then quickly look away like he didn’t see her?

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    • Yeah he seems shy

    • So that's the problem

  • Girls are masters at covert communication, the art of nuance, innuendo.
    Guys are not. If you don't speak directly they simply just don't get it.

    And especially these days, the women have made it clear they don't want to be approached in any kind of attraction way. They've labeled it as 'creepy', ugly, unwanted, harassing. No, don't be expecting any guys to respond unless you're very clear you're interested in them doing so.

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  • Depends... Some guys are some guys aren't.. it's just a great rule of thumb to be straightforward so it doesn't lead to any misunderstanding.

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    • YeH I think my signals can look like I’m being friendly. My crush sends the same signals as I do and I’m confused too. I don't know if he’s interested or not

    • Then be honest. That's the problem with signals, they get crossed.

  • I like to think I'm okay at picking up signals, but even if I do pick up signals, I try not to make any conclusions simply because I could end up in an embarrassing situation that way. Instead, if I want to pursue her I'm either going to say something or I'm not going to regardless of previous signals (unless she's outright said she's not interested). However, signals that she likes me will make me more comfortable with my saying something.

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  • I know what I do when I want to flirt. I have no idea what others do to flirt. If a girl likes me, and not just like "oh you are nice and I don't mind having you around" but as in "I am really attracted to both your personality and your looks" I need to basically be hit by a 2×4 to get the picture

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  • I am a huge dope and have no clue when someone likes me so no I never see any signals. When someone flirts with me I assume that they are just being flirty turns out I was wrong and she did actually like me. Total dope like I said.

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  • Most men have good to excellent hearing and can understand the verbal signals (called words) that you use (when you use them.) Other signals are more ambiguous and subject to misinterpretation.

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  • What are "signals"? Signals are another manifestation of sneakiness and dishonesty. If something matters, you say it OPENLY. Otherwise, it doesn't matter.

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    • SOMETIMES it is a manifestation of sneakiness and dishonesty. Other times “signals” refers to the emotions that people don’t immediately express out loud due to shyness or uncertainty. But an astute person can make an educated guess as to what that person is thinking based on body language and other unspoken cues.

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    • @Herelbe There is no need for insults. Seems like you seriously misinterpreted my comment. I don’t claim to have any special telepathic ability. In fact I would say that I’m very bad at reading “signals” from women. I do value honesty. And I do think that people should be open and upfront about their feelings when there is a possible romantic interest in someone. I don’t think that people should have to play guessing games to figure out what the other person is feeling. The simple fact that someone gives unspoken cues that suggest their feelings is not inherently dishonest. However, it is dishonest to manipulate someone by intentionally flirting with them, giving them false hope of sex or a relationship. What I was suggesting is that sometimes people give off signals without even realizing it.

    • And I’m not sure why you suggest that I think any one person is more deserving of love than another. Maybe you got the idea that I’m a pickup artist or some other kind of “ladies man”. That couldn’t be further from the truth. I struggle to understand and relate to women just as much as any other guy.

  • Depends on how strong the signal is.
    If you get touchy with a guy HE KNOWS.
    But if you're just making subtle hints, he may not get it.

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  • It would be a lot easier if you just tell me... or else I'll just assume you're friendly

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    • So just straight up tell him I like him?

    • it is the easiest. the worst thing that can happen is that he says no... and life moves on after

    • Yeah! Thank you for answering

  • Depends how subtle they are and even if they're noticeable some of us won't act on it in case we're wrong or misunderstanding it and we don't want to look egotistical or stupid

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  • I'm still wondering myself... whether a girl who smiles at me actually likes me, or is just kind hearted. She mentioned someone special- is that her boyfriend?

    Detective blind as a bat, on the case!

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  • Have you seen batman, or read the comics? Do you know what they flash in the sky just to get him to help out?

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What Girls Said 31

  • They are cluelss on signals. I had a friend who even thought a girl was giving him signals so he asked her out but got rejected and they never talk again. Might as well tell them.

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    • Oh wow I can see why some guys would rather hear “hey I like you” lol

  • some are and some aren't. the ones that are, are more likely to be confident, and thus more attractive.. the ones who aren't are more likely to resent the players for being more attractive, when they are just better at reading signals. lol.

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  • Im subtle as a box of rocks. I just went "If we're just friends, then i should probably stop letting you kiss me like this." And "So when are we going to go on a real date?"

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    • Haha I wish I had your courage. I don’t know the guy so it’s a little different. He shows me signs he likes me but I don't know for sure!!

    • Just start a conversation and slide in "Hey, Im really enjoying this conversation, but I have to go. Can I get your number so we can continue?" And then go fom there.

  • they are oblivious. Unless you have a note on your forehead that says "I like you!" they won't know haha

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    • If we just go around acting on assumptions, we get accused of sexual harassment and not respecting women.

    • @Meninist that's if you act in a way that disrespects or sexually harasses women. Listen, there's guys that have come up to me or asked me out on a date because I was nice to them, but I was not attracted to them. Some guys mistake kindness for being interested in someone. If you ask a girl out because you think they like you, that's not sexual harassment. That's shooting your shot. :)

  • Depends on the guy, obviously. I'd say a lot can tell, but like to hear the girl say it, which I really fucking hate and find annoying.

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    • Right! I find it so annoying because do I have to have a neon sign on my forehead that says “HEY I LIKE YOU , talk to me!” Lol

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    • Lmao! Ahh

    • I really fucking hate it when a girl does absolutely nothing and expects the man to make all the moves. Like do something yourself?

  • They do notice, but they can't correctly interpret the signals. My friendly signals are someone else's flirty signals. Best to be frank.

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    • Yeah, after all the answers I’m getting on this question I’m realizing my signals do look friendly. But also the guy I’m interested in sends me the same signals so I’m kinda confused myself haha

    • I see haha it's time to move from friendly to overtly flirty so there's absolutely no confusion anymore.. ^^

  • Why send "signals"? If you like someone, just tell him/her.

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  • Guys are stupid, I doknt mean that in a bad way but compared to woman (in general), men are really really bad at picking up signals and shit. You need to tell them in exact words what you want and feel or they will not get it. It drives me insane

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    • Because we are all supposed to just automatically know what you feel, what your intentions, everything on your mind... right? It drives you insane... now that's funny.

    • Triggered much?

      No I expect people to be able to read basic body language and use their brains.

    • I'm not the one who said it drives them insane, so sorry, nothing triggered. Nice try with the psychology buzzword though.
      Yeah, we men are all just too dumb to read minds, that's it. I don't believe we could ever grasp even the basics of non verbal communication either.
      So can you explain the problem with simply telling us what you think/feel/want is? I'd love to hear it.

  • I think they are often too busy second guessing themselves and terrified of reading it wrong so they just do nothing.

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  • NO, throw a rock in their face engraved with ”I LOVE you, you dumbass” and they still wouldn’t understand

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    • Sorry for the random question but why do girls wear shorts like nike pros under their skirts and dresses :(((

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    • Lmao ! So true @twerkingonsatan

    • Are shorts under skirts anything to do with perverts that look up girls skirts?

  • These guys say they don't understand signals and we should speak. But sometimes if you look in their eyes and say: I love you, they still don't get it! XD

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  • Never met a guy that picked up on the signals. Always had to tell them up front "I freaking like you, you dummy"

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    • Some guys pick up signals, if you find one, marry him. But still... I like your way more, its kinda cute :3

    • Maybe your signals... you know, sucked?

  • Depends on the guy's reading talents and the quality of the girl's signals.

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  • Like you're talking to a wall.

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    • Oh wow really lmao. No wonder, my crush looks clueless still.

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    • Okay fine you told asker to ask him out herself.

      So, what clues do you give men?

    • @Meninist No clues. I'm aware of the fact that what might seem blatantly obvious for me may not seem so for other people. So I just ask people out. That's the only sign that is clear to everyone.

  • Not usually, I don't think, lol. Though it really does depend on the guy

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  • I feel like most guys are oblivious to signals or read them wrong.

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    • Do you think maybe they do notice the signs but are scared that they’re reading them wrong?

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    • Yeah I thinks that’s what’s going on here in my situation.

    • Mixed signals? Or they like you and maybe they don’t want to scare you off by moving too quickly?

  • In my experience , they never get the message

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  • Most guys aren't.

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    • How would you know? After all, what if they just refuse to act on them because of reasons such as fear/doubt/annoyance/waiting for a stronger signal? Maybe you aren't picking up the signals :3

  • Some do, some dont

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  • who the hell is?

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  • Most of them - no.
    Some of them yes.

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  • They are not mind readers

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  • Most guys, not at all.

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  • Hahaha, no.

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  • THEY ARE TERRIBLE AT IT

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  • Some are, some aren't. Mine is.

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  • I personally think some aren't good at it at all

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  • Nope

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  • Lol no

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  • No they are not good!!! no no and no

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