Dating A Guy With No Understanding Of Emotions?

I've been with this guy for just about a year now and he legitimately seems to have no understanding of feelings/emotions and why people act and feel the way they do.
For instance, he's a workaholic. He always has been and he seems absolutely and totally confused about why his exes, and even myself, get frustrated when he has so little time to contribute to a relationship. His rationalization is that he's got a goal and he's focused on it. When I asked why he even bothers with relationships and why he doesn't just find the occasional hookup, he doesn't have an answer. If I get upset or cry over things, it's like I'm covered in slime or spiders or something. He has no idea what to do. He doesn't understand why people get mad about things because he doesn't feel very passionate about many things.
That's not to say he isn't affectionate or loving toward me, but I don't cuddle up on him much or anything. If I walk by, he'll grab me, hug me, and hold me for a while, and when we're in bed, he's always (like 100%) the first one to want to cuddle, and he can't seem to fall asleep unless we're holding each other. He's not violent or mean, he's just somewhat dry and cold if that makes sense.
We've made it this far and don't have many issues but I'm wondering if anyone else has ever dated someone like this and how it worked out. Or if there's any advice to get him excited about anything at all.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Auuuuuuuuuu, so fun fact gods creatures are not heartless. They have this thing called a brain.. which you both got. So he do know what emotions are. Cause he's tired from working. Thats sad. Sad is an emotion and tieed is a feeling. So you have brain to not put up with pointless predicaments. Dont blame it on love, history or obligation. Do yourself a favor and stop putting up with it. Your not nor never will change the guy. He has be ready. And you... wasting your time sooooooo. Lets fix that.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Seems like someone I wouldn't even consider

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What Guys Said 9

  • You have to find your own answer.

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  • Cut ties with him now before you get in so deep you can’t. A problem like that will only get worse over the years. My mother in law has been trapped in a loveless marriage for 40 years because of something similar. I would hate to see the same thing happen to someone else.

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  • I was just like this guy and what worked for me was her changing her profile avatar
    It was a picture of her ex's car
    So naturally I was always bummed out
    when texting her
    She changed it and now we're really enjoying ourselves and our time together

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  • That's a textbook pyschopath, you know that right?

    When they don't understand how their behaviour isn't appropriate and they only care about themselves that's psychopathy.

    Sociopathy is the stabby-stabby murderer one

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  • From what you described it's basically like he's not emotionally aware. I can't say much because people say the exact same things about me. Well, not the time part at least.

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  • Can be ok if your not looking for serious or just friends with benefits

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  • Im that way the reason i am that way is past abuse i grew up with parents that drilled it in my head that if u cry you are a weak and usless person

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  • Dump him right away

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  • He's a real man, date him

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What Girls Said 0

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