How can my boyfriend and I fix our attitude we have with one another?

The gist of our arguments always start the same way. He will get frustrated with me for something I've done and demand something from me, tell me to chill out, or just make me visibly upset because I'm very sensitive. This in turn will make me have an attitude right back. It's like he can have an attitude or a rude tone with me and I have to be perfectly normal and fine with it and respond back like he didn't say anything condescending. He's always the best, smartest, top dog in every kind of setting which I feel makes him think he can talk down to me. I'm not sure how to adjust to this.

How am I supposed to react to my boyfriend when he has a tone or attitude with me? It makes me do it right back. If he has an attitude, I can have one too, right? One thing about him is that he cannot stand attitude and will not take it from anyone, but somehow he can do it to someone else? He has this mentality that his way is the best way and that he thinks for everyone and not just himself when it comes to decision making, even in disagreements. That's why he's always "right".
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I'd also like to add that he grew up in an abusive, argumentative household. He worked really hard to get where he is today thus makes him not take an attitude or complaint from anyone.
How can my boyfriend and I fix our attitude we have with one another?
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