A colleague betrayed me - how do I make sense of it and forgive myself?

A colleague I worked with closely for 2 years massively betrayed me. We had a close working relationship, he was a supervisor (although the organization is pretty flat and he never acted with much authority anyway) and I was his right-hand woman. He showed a consistent romantic interest in me and flirted with me (and I hasten to add - only me) for months (so much so that all other colleagues thought he was into me too) and he was famous for his lack of reputation with women, so me, thinking he was a nice guy (he had a jokey surface bravado but that was all a joke, or so it seemed - he could be generous and kind a lot of the time) decided one night to show interest back. He suddenly pulled massively away, told me it had all been a joke, he didn't like me like that and the fact he was joking should have been obvious. He then proceeded to makes jokes to me the next day about me being slutty towards him and when I didn't appreciate this and got angry, he proceeded to tell all our workmates that I "threw myself at him".. and then, being a moron, was surprised and even angry (the audacious little shit) that I wouldn't talk to him at all and ended up leaving the job after that. Yes, moving on is the best revenge.. but I still feel pangs of such pain/anger/confusion/distress - even 14 months after the event and I found it hard to trust men anyway. Although he had no confidence with women until recently, I found loads of sexist stuff that he'd wrote online when he was younger trying to cultivate a "frat boy" player image. I'm much smarter than that and thought I was better than that in recognizing someone that vile. I'm trying to push through it, but it's really tough. It's made me doubt myself and hate myself for not seeing him for what he was. Logically, he is absolutely no loss to me.. but my reputation there got destroyed and the fact that someone in a position of power could do that I find mind-boggling.
A colleague betrayed me - how do I make sense of it and forgive myself?
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