How do I stop acting so nervous around girls?

I can't even talk to them. I just sit there with my hands in my lap looking all nervous and fidgeting. I act quite awkward when I am around them or even see them.

I get along quite well with old, old ladies and the girls that I don't find attractive, it's just the girls that I find attractive.

I don't think I'm a bad looking guy or anything, but I'm really self conscious. I get loads of compliments and lots of girls approaching me and stuff, but I never follow up on anything. I just sit there quietly or run away.

I even had a girl ask me if I had a girlfriend. I said no then I walked away. I didn't know what else to do lol. (I actually can't believe I did that. she was REALLY pretty)

I can never keep eye contact if they see me staring at them. If I know they are staring at me, I can't look at them. I'll pretend like I can't see them.

I was home schooled my high school years, so I kinda got really shy and stuff. I sorta developed a phobia of talking/looking at girls?

I started college a couple days ago. I didn't make any friends. I'm like the only quiet one in my ALL my class. I'm always sitting there with my hands under the table looking straight at the board. I don't think I said one word to anyone, even the professors. I usually just nod my head if it's a yes or no question.

It's kinda scary because everyone around me is older than me.

I look like a little kid . lol some guy thought that I was 13. (I'm 18) I don't think anyone ever believed me when I said I was 18.

Today while I was sitting on the bench waiting for my ride, there was a girl that smiled at me,(I smiled back) then she sat next to me. (There was a free bench across from me, so I'm pretty sure she was interested?) We didn't say a word though. I was fidgeting the whole time. It was like this for 10 minutes. What do I do if I see her again?

Then in history I had a girl keep staring at me. And then when class got out, she kept looking over her shoulder at me(4 or 5 times). We didn't say a word though.

(There's others, but this is getting pretty lengthy. Those are just the most recent ones.)

I'm starting to feel bad for all these girls that approached me, but I "rejected" them in their eyes or give off a "not interested" vibe.

Apparently lots of girls find me attractive or something(not trying to sound arrogant or anything), but I lack a lot of confidence. Any help/suggestions?


Most Helpful Guy

  • do you lack confidence in other areas besides dealing with girls? (it sounds like you do, if you're the only quiet one in class)

    it sounds like you need to build up your general self confidence; there are lots of ways of doing this, depending on your interests. some people take acting classes - that way they learn to "act" as confident characters, and you can try out being different sorts of people without having to change yourself.

    another good option may be to practice public speaking - toastmasters is the most famous group for helping people with this & there's probably a chapter near you if not at your college campus. learning to speak in front of people in a formal setting will help you with informal environments as well.

    finally it seems that you're reasonably good at expressing yourself in written form, so it may be that one way to show a particular girl you're interested is to put some thoughts in writing rather than trying to approach her face to face. this may be an old-fashioned approach but the effect might be novel enough these days to get you some interest & help you break some ice.

    finally finally, once you hit the legal age, it's amazing what a couple of drinks can do relax your inhibitions - just take it easy since it's not hard to make a fool of yourself this way.

    good luck


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What Girls Said 2

  • Yes. stop thinking she as a GIRL. think of her as a mate or someone you can talk to. forget her being pretty.

  • You don't have to talk to a girl to communicate with her. You could just smile at her if you are interested. It would a good way to acknowledge girls that pay attention to you!


What Guys Said 2

  • There are tons of books/videos out there that tell you or show you how to get rid of this personality trait: it all comes down to practice and perserverance; the good news is that the videos show you how to approach women even if you're extremely shy and they tell you how to talk to them, and how to look confident. I can tell you that it works as I have a colleague at work that all he did was spend time playing video games and going to lan parties; now he spends all his time going to bars and clubs and he meets all types of girls; even I can't pull off the stuff he does. But you do have to go out there and practice practice practice, and of course, you need to find the right tutorials

  • Well unlike you I'm having that problem but I'm going out with a girl and I don't keep eye contact with her a lot I don't know why... and my friends keep looking at me and making me feel ocward I don't know if that's how you spell it... so I'm in this situation she might break up with me tomorrow if I don't step up my game but I'm going to get all my courage and step it up because I really like her but my friends are making it un comfortable you get me?... I don't know this doesn't answer your question but can you answer mine... and just be your self and ask her how was her day that's what I did to get my girlfriend...