Why is it harder for some guys to put a label on their relationship?

There’s been times when my guy friends and my guy cousins are clearly dating a girl but they don’t want to call her his girlfriend yet. Why is this?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Seriously? Thats two in a row! When did dating start meaning relationship? Maybe they dont want a relationship because its then expected they have to be monogamous? Ill admit its often if not always in the grey area where dating stops and relationship starts. But thats why people talk about it when the time is right. And when is the time right? They certainly know better than you and me which is why i consider it noisy if you or me should stick our noses into it and try to accelerate it or something. But as long as there hasn't been any talk about being in a relationship i consider dating more or less the more adult version of fooling around/exploring without commitment. Its then especially annoying for the satisfied part if the other part wants more out of it should you choose to interfere

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  • I can only speak for my younger self, but I often had a feel early on about how serious I was going to be about a girl... So I would often try to hold off progressing with a girl when I knew I wasn't going anywhere with things because it was going to hurt her worse and worse the deeper things got when it eventually fell apart.

    Of course then I got older and more mature and realised the only truly decent thing to do was be upfront and honest, even if it meant telling a girl something like "Look, I really am having fun spending time with you, and I admit I'm physically attracted to you, but I'm not your guy. If you want to be friends, I'd like that, but that's all I want to be, because I don't want to waste your time."

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Because some guys are straight up more selfish than others. Some guys get stuck in their heads blowing things out of proportion like "I'm not sure she's my girlfriend because I'm comparing her to some unrealistic ideal of that I think a girlfriend should be." These kind of guys don't know how to wake up and smell the roses as they are too worried about their own perceptions rather than how their indecision affects another person. If a guy is really into a girl, he doesn't try to compare a girl, he spends his time appreciating her.

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    • Gals do that just as frequently too (id say even more but thats an opinion), so thats not an explanation to this question. I think however thats the explanation to why people feel so lonely thesr days even many times while in a relationship. Dating apps and internet has distanced the whole thing a lot on top of making people more picky because they can yes or no more quickly. As to the question here; my original answer focused most on the index rather than the title. But the answer to the title is a lot shorter anyway: Because no matter what label we put on it in the end the term is still going to end with the word "relationship", which we tend to not want since were genetically swayed to have sex with as many gals as possible

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What Guys Said 39

  • Because women dictate the pace of a relationship, not men. They decide if the date happens, the first kiss, sex, relationship, etc. They say yes or no to a marriage proposal.

    If a man starts throwing out labels too soon it will scare and drive away the girl fast.

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    • I agree with your last statement but as for initiating the sex and kiss part, I know girls that appreciate it if it was the guy that makes the first move. Girls do love guys who lead and take charge after all.

    • @BraveHeart97 well like almost every step in the relationship from hello to having sex it’s expected of the man to take initiative. But at any point she can reject you. Any time. She gets to decide whether it goes forward or not (and role reversals do happen but they are rare).

  • Refusing to put a label on the relationship only happens for one reason; refusal of commitment. The reason behind that can be situational though. Either, they think the can do better, they're not super proud, or usually, they're afraid they will "jynx" the relationship. If you dont have a girlfriend, you're girlfriend can't leave you. Just an opionion.

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  • Cause theyre just dating. Dating is like dipping ur toe in a bathtub to see if the temperature right. If the bath is warm then theyll go in but if the baths too hot or cold then they won't. Theyll let the water drain and refill it again. If the girl is just right then theyll go all in and be like thats my girlfriend but if she not his type then she gone. Dating is just the testing period

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  • It's not difficult at all. Men don't struggle with that at all. We simply realize that it's childish and useless. Labels carry different meanings for different people. It's just better to have an open and honest conversation about what each of you needs and wants, as well as what you each have to offer. Labels are ridiculous.

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  • Simple, because one, they don't want to scare there girl by coming up a bit strong you know by labeling there relationship and second, because they don't know if there girl is feeling the same with them.

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  • Like there are many cheating men that women have to be careful about, there are many crazy women out there. We just need to make sure we've given you enough time to show us just how crazy before we commit to anything 😂

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  • It's down to how courting works. I'm not sure that girls realise that when a guy approaches them it's purley physical. Then it's about do I feel something for this person.

    Being someone's boyfriend comes with a lot of connotations and many guys fear putting a label on it will change the fundamentals of a relationship by putting that label on it. We need to know that it's serious on both sides before we commit to labels.

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  • Usually I'll reserve putting labels on my relationships until the girl is comfortable it being so. Also, I don't want to put out my emotions without knowing they're not going to be stepped on or not.

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  • Its simpe 1: they might look for something else sp thus the girl is sort of a temp and 2 could be he just doesn't love her yet 3: he has been hurt and first wants to see how serious things get

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  • Commitment is scary that’s why. Sometimes monogamy can be hard and we need to make sure we’re ready. It’s not good to call an SO relationship an SO relationship until both the “what are we” talk and the “what is and isn’t cheating” talks are had

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  • Because its usually harder for most guys to put their feelings into words. But, why is a label needed anyway: if it works, it works!

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  • It’s because we don’t want to put any expectations and get disappointed if things don’t escalate like we want them too. Plus, we’re probably still trying to get to know the person better before making any commitment.

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  • Cause putting a label on it means it's real and there scared of that either cause there not ready or just want all the benefits of a relationship without the consequences

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  • Because they think that labels will tie them into something, which is dumb.
    You were already tied into something when you banged her.

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  • It depends on the person but with me its because i don't want to rush thing's and would like to date the person longer and get to know them better before making it official:)

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  • Because they don't actually want to settle with that person. They think they can do better. I've been on both sides of this.

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  • For me, if I speak my mind, I come off as a person who gets attached easily. This scares the shit out of most women, especially early on in dating. If you like each other and are dating exclusively you're basically there, just without the label. Why fix something that isn't broken? Let it come naturally. When it's clear you're both nuts about each other, then I'd like to define the relationship. Until then, I like to convey a bit of a "take it or leave it" type of vibe, while simultaneously expressing interest, to hopefully help her feel like I'm not trying to pin her down.

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  • I want to know what it is and feel sure about it in my own time.
    For me, dating does not a girlfriend make.

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  • Simply put this way, they have to earn their title as girlfriend or wife as such, and then some girls would cheat, I know too many would cheat. Sadly to say.

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What Girls Said 8

  • Because guys aren’t as eager to be in defined relationships as girls. They want to take their time and not worry about attaching strings to their relationship by setting up expectations.

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    • I usually just assume we’re in a relationship after the first kiss or sex.

    • Really? From my experience, all of the guys who have expressed romantic interest are willing to kiss or have sex, but will wait indefinitely before defining the relationship.

  • Bc they want to be known to be single still, and insecure of what they want... i think anyways. My own opinion, dont need to agree.

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  • Bc there keeping there options open in case a better option comes along or they might have other relationships going on.

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    • Or we just don’t want to scare the girl off unless we’re 100% sure she’s into us.

    • Well if she's acting like your girlfriend Im pretty sure she likes you

  • Cause they don't want to be held down by a label. They feel like their freedom will vanish the second they pronounce the word.

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  • It's because of indecisiveness and not being sure of carrying the relationship

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    • No they know what they want. But if they bring it up too soon they will get the answer they don’t want to hear.

      Average women have much more power average men to dictate the pace of a relationship.

      I once made the mistake of asking “where is this going” when I was younger. It ALWAYS makes women uncomfortable and drives them away. But vice versa is expected.

  • Hiding it from other girls they’re talking to. I guarantee

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  • A lot of guys have commitment issues.

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    • The girls who flat out told me they weren’t ready to be in a committed relationship proves otherwise.

  • They have not that talk yet

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