Guys: how do you deal when you get perceived as gay by mistake?

So there is this guy I really like, we’ve had strong eye contact and smiles going on. He is very shy, I’ve tried every way to talk to him but in the end we can’t talk either because of his shyness or because there is always people around us. Anyway, he has a friend, they are literally inseparable. The other day, when their soccer game was over, his friend went to hug him... and When he saw me looking, he kinda pushed his friend away from him quickly and got really serious. I thought that was odd and gave me the idea that he might be gay or he doesn’t want to give the impression he is. I know as a woman, if the man I like is looking and my friend decides to grab be in a friendly playful way, I’d try to avoid it just not to send the wrong message.

Guys what would you say about this?
I am just trying understand how would a guy deal with being perceived as gay by mistake?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It could also be that he doesn't want to be perceived as submissive. I know I hate it if I'm talking to a woman I'm attracted to and some guy friend passes by and gives me a dutch rub or puts his arm around me. I half thinks guys do that shit deliberately to cock-block other guys. Being touched by other dudes without your consent feels humiliating and weak, and us guys are aware that weakness is a turnoff for women.

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    • 7d

      Great point! But why would his friend become a cock blocker? Why would a friend do that?

    • 7d

      If the friend is attracted to the girl. Or just being an ass.

    • 7d

      Ok, I highly doubt his friend like me. In the end his friend didn’t even see me looking, it was the guy I like the one that saw me starring and pushed his friend away and got serious, so it leaves me the doubt why he would do that.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm flattered. I get hit on by sexy ass bitches

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 20

  • I've lived in five countries and I have to say, the US generally, has some sort of aversion to seeing men hug each other or be involved in homo-social activities (some states more than others). Most team sports are homo-social in nature, unless you play in mixed-sex teams.

    Take for example, the picture/GIF you posted of Radja Nainggolan, who plays as a midfielder for Intermilan (the picture above was in his AS Roma days). Hugging your team-mates is very normal after scoring a goal. In Europe (where most of the best leagues are) and to a lesser extent, Asia, it's not strange to see team mates hug each other, pile on each other, or pat each other on the bum, or in some cases, even kiss each other on the cheek, after a goal.

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    • 7d

      Ur right, that could be seen normal in Europe, Asia but we live in the United States. Sooo

  • Is this guy good looking? I say that because in my personal experience being above average single guy, people can throw the gay label on you unfairly.

    If that's not the case he may just be macho, and not comfortable with male affection.

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  • Just b cool about it. Just means someone thinks I’m attractive LOL. I think being mad or threatened by something like that, must mean you are insecure and need to grow a pair

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  • Sounds like he is interested in you and definitely doesn't want to be seen as homosexual. My own feelings about it are the world is so fucked up right now that their are men pretending to be homosexual for attention. It's a mess. This guy sounds like he has normal healthy male instincts though. Cares about how you preceptive him very much.

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  • Sometimes people will just come to me and ask me am I gay, usually i would say no, but sometimes when im annoyed with that question i would just say yes, so I can get rid of them, and for jokes bcs look on their faces is amazing.
    Just go and talk to him, there is only one way this could work, it is by you two talking

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  • By setting a ravenously horny bull loose at their work. Nothing like a 1200 pound violent herbivore dry humping a vending machine to show the consequences of assumptions.

    I'm not gay,
    - Fagū Mc. Gaylōrd

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  • He doesn’t sound very secure with his sexuality. It’s not gay to hug a guy friend

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    • I totally agree that it’s not gay to hug a guy friend! Why I found weird was his way of pushing off his friend as if it wasn’t ok or acceptable to him right when he noticed I looked. If it’s a friends hug, why act that way?

    • He’s obviously interested in you and he doesn’t want you to perceive him as gay

  • Meh. My wife thought I was gay when she met me and I thought she was a lesbian. He just seems young and insecure.

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  • Been called gay for a real long time. Not good. I'm not homophobic but seriously hate being called gay. Or even if people think that il probably b offended

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  • Deep down we all know he is gay.

    All kidding aside, yeah, he probably doesn't want to send the wrong message

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  • It's funny to me; I even had some guy on here think I was a woman once, I mean I know my profile pic is distorted but it's obviously not the face of a woman 🤣

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  • Well I'm bisexual so when people tell me I'm gay, I tell them I like pussy as well and move on.

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  • H3 is just trying to act more manly because u was looking he ain't gay

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  • Bromance is different from gay

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  • I tell them Its been awhile since I've been a top.

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  • I really don't care.

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  • Uh, I laugh.

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  • Depends on if I get a free dinner out of it.

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  • I just laugh it off

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  • I wouldn’t be surprised I say a lot of gay things not because I’m actually gay, but it’s fun to say. I’ll give an example. A guy asked me if I knew Cristiano Ronaldo, while showing me a pic through his phone. I laughed and said “oof I would let that guy fuck me if he wanted to” it’s just fun to say and see their reaction, I always say I’m kidding, but some people might believe I’m gay. (Just saying I’m not making fun of gays i just do this for my own guilty pleasure and by no means I’m trying to bring someone down or make fun of)

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What Girls Said 4

  • I do too. It's a shame I have lesbians that hit on me. Not literally but I'm straight so...

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  • I don't know, but I've been taken for a gay man by mistake. Not sure how.

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  • To me that sign he might be my experiences the one go out of the way to do stuff like that are closet gay when i was 16 I was the same way.

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  • My friends call me lesbian

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